Irrational crying... how do I stop?

Question

I have an irrational way of crying any time I have to take criticism or stand up to people who intimidate me... even if it's nothing big and I'm not really that upset about it, I cry. It's like a personal defense mechanism. Then I feel like the person has gotten to me even more. Nothing I've tried has worked... any advice on how to stop? I'm afraid it's going to hurt me in the workplace as well.

Answer 1

Complete and total honesty is the only solution! Feeling and owning the feeling that you have the right to feel how and what you feel and the right to speak your mind.

Sounds like you were deprived of your right to have feelings and opinions. Controlled perhaps by someone overbearing or grossly dominant? ( I too know the feeling.) Sometimes, you just can't stop it. Sometimes, it has to happen. What you can control however is how you feel about yourself for doing it. You are okay and all right for your weaknesses and your strengths. I know that sounds like some lame Dr. Phil crap but you know what, I spent years with the angst and the anxiety over the actual deed of breaking down and crying in front of anyone and when you own it and feel that at the end of the day you tried and honestly did the best you could being who and what you are then it does tend to remove some of the pressure.

Another thing that helps is to practice, put yourself into uncomfortable situations and notice when you find yourself in one, If a waiter or waitress is being rude or a salesperson or even a friend or family member steps out of bounds, test yourself, keep journals, learn what things it was that triggered it or helped it. What kind of people are setting you off.

I tell my boys that crying is a means of manipulation (because it is) (there you go, lesson #1 in honesty.) it is a way to say something without words to put an end to a potentially uncomfortable situation that you would rather not deal with without having to actually adress the problem. Learn to be more honest with yourself and everyone else. Know that you are entitled to your feelings and that you have the right to express them and if you cry...hey, who gives a sh*it. It happens and as you get older it will get better.

It does cause some problems in the workplace though (take it from someone who knows) and I suggest you work on it before you get there or see someone about it? Maybe Hypnosis or sublimital self-esteem tapes?

Answer 2

the fact that you cry is a way, I feel you are able to relieve stress and anxiety, which is killing people. I wish I could cry more often actually. It's good for the heart, the organs and stuff. I have an aunt who cries when she prays a lot. she just feels really close to God, and thats a good thing...

if it's stressing you out to cry about these things, maybe you want to stop and think about what is good about what the other person said to you and see if its a good thing. Is that person who confronted you a good friend, or a fool? if they are no good, then don't waste tears, but if they are there for you, then sometimes they might say things you might want to follow. It good to take a little criticism now and then, because then you can think about it and become a better girl.. ya know? and then, one day, you'll be more in control of your feelings. how's that?

Answer 3

Well you might have depression or situational depression. I would suggest that you go talk to your local doctor and see what types of anti-depressants and mood stabilizers are out there for you. I am on lexapro and serequel and i feel that for me they work wonders. I feel calmer and am able to handle situations better. But everyone is different, and the medications are by prescription so you should talk to your doctor. Or maybe you just need a counselor. I go to one about once a month and just talk about feelings and day to day life things. I really notice that it helps relive your stress and you can handle your emotions better. If it is just one person that is causing these symptoms then talk to them or avoid that person. It may be really tough to do but its for your emotional health. If you are pregnant or just had a baby the hormones can be up and down and you could be going through post-partum depression.
The biggest advice is don't go through this alone and get some medical help.
Good Luck

Answer 4

Is there an off chance that you feel like you are being attacked?
If you convince yourself that you can listen and learn from what others have to say it may help. Even if you come to the conclusion that the other person is crazy you can say you listened objectively.

If you can prepare yourself and say out loud that you are only going to cry in the bathroom or that you won't at all, this should help. Others wise apologize for your weak tear ducts and move on.

Answer 5

I think the reason you're crying is because you're letting your feelings take too much of a toll on you. You give in and let out whatever you're feeling by standing up to someone and with that you let out the rest of your feelings during the moment. Why leave any of them behind just to linger? It's not a bad thing, though I'm sure it gets irritating. Therapy might help you some.

Answer 6

I don't think you will like this, but you don't...not yet. These stressful experiences are vital to your development and the development of your character skills. In time, you will learn that being intimidated by others lessens as you discover your self worth, which by the way, is priceless. No one is better than you, including any princess, king or president. Be patient with yourself. The crying will stop, I promise.

Answer 7

Who said it was irrational? You seem to be too sensitive to criticism. Most people are quick to point out your faults only because they can relate. Or have the same fault.
Just for laughs try thinking of the person who is giving the critique, as naked and has food on their teeth.
And a great answer to any criticism is " thank you"

Answer 8

I had this problem too. I got advice from a magazine once that said that when you feel you are about to break into tears, shift your attention to something physical in the room. Focus on the colour of the carpet, focus on a piece of furniture,a plant, etc.... This distraction seems to help , silly as it sounds but you have to take your attention to something else right away, this small shift of attention seems to help.

Answer 9

It's probably due to anxiety. Talk to a doctor.

Answer 10

Have you heard of people wearing their feelings on their sleeve, stand up for your self you are as good as they are maybe better get tough honey