Can 'swingers' be happy?

Question

My husband & I are very much in love and are considering 'swinging' (adding others to our sexual play).

I like the idea, it's very exciting, but wonder if it's one of those things that 'looks good on paper', but falls to pieces when emotions are involved.

We've already decided no existing friends or neighbors and certainly NO FAMILY, which makes sense to me.

Can people be happy in an honest relationship with multiple sexual partners?

How? Why or Why not?

Thanks!!

Answer 1

We have been swinging for several years now and it's actually helped our marriage tremendously in several different ways, both sexually and non-sexually. Our self esteem has improved, we've improved our communication skills (both verbal and non-verbal), we've developed a sexual stamina, and we've both learned several new tips and techniques sexually that we can use on each other.

The biggest thing to remember is that you are doing this TOGETHER!!! Once one of you starts thinking "I" instead of "WE", that's where the problems begin.

Another thing we can not stress enough is ground rules. Talk about every possible situation and then talk about it again. Make sure you both know what's OK and what's not.

There's a lot to being a swinger. For some people it's great, others it's not their thing. If you have any other questions, feel free to ask us.

Answer 2

If you and your husband are very much in love, don't disrespect that love. A good marriage requires intimacy and oneness and fidelity. If your are bringing others into your marriage, emotionally or sexually that oneness will be broken. And eventually so will the relationship. Consider the possibility that your husband leaves you for the other woman you allow him to have sex with or vice-versa. How would that make you feel? Or what if the other woman becomes pregnant by your husband? Are you prepared to deal with those consequences. Or what if someone is a better lover than your husband, how would he feel to know that you are comparing him to another man.
You might want to ask yourself why you would consider sex outside of your marriage, is there something missing?
I think what's missing in your family is prayer, there you will find the right answer to this question.
God bless.

Answer 3

(shaking my head at this) not judging but just shaking my head at where we've taken our unions of marriage to. Marrying another person use to mean forsaking all others and abiding by the vows you spoke before one another at the time you were married. I do know that so many people have broken their vows time and time again but that still doesn't make it right. Swinging to me is ridiculous. Why even get married if you are still going to go out and have sex with other people, couples, or whatever else you're into. Why not just be platonic and have all the orgies you want. I swear with all the things this society is falling into and for, it wont be long before sex with anyone and anything becomes legal and acceptable. It's like people have no self control over their bodies and urges. They have that " Free love type attitudes" It's too dangerous out here to be careless like that. Sure you guys could use condoms but herpes can still be caught while using a condom, as well as crabs and other diseases. Why increase your chances like that? These days just to have sex period, your taking a chance. Why add to the risk? I just dont get it, but hey to each his/her own.

Answer 4

Swinging?! You are looking to bring about the fall of your relationship. No matter what turmoil my relationship is in or if we want to experience new things, no way in hell am I gonna look to other people to fix me and my partner's relationships. Legal or not, its totally disgusting and my religion totally prohibits it. Love is between two people not three and four and how much others you might want to sleep with. Marriage is a relationship and bond, most commonly between a man and a woman, why the heck would you want to share a piece of you or your husband for that matter with someone else. If you ask me this world is very selfish and immoral.

Answer 5

When you get married you take certain vows. You also sign papers that say basically the same thing as your vows and that is called a contract. If you "swing" you are breaking that contract. You are committing adultery, you are going against your marriage vows. Can you be happy in that sort of relationship? Knowing that you broke the contract that is the basis of your marriage?

Answer 6

It has been my experience that this is not for everyone. There are swing clubs in many cities if you want to see how it works.
I would first suggest you try a "watch, no touch" first with another couple to see how it affects you, this is where you and your hubby get it on while another couple does so next to you. That way, if its not for you, nothing harmed.

Answer 7

i have lived as a swinging couple and that brought out my ex hubby's insecurities and well that was part of the reason we broke up but on the other hand i know a few couples( one that has been together for 20 years) that are having a successful marrige. when i asked them how do they do it they said they always do it together , they have their alone time and they ALWAYS kepp the lines of communication open.

Answer 8

Sure they can be happy, it can also lead to an increased love life and an openess in the relationship that you've never known before leading to an increase in trust. Unless you know the new partner well please use protection because of std's.

Answer 9

Well I had an Uncle that did that with his first wife as you see it did not work out. First of all need to worry about diseases 2 fantasy is one thing doing it is another.

Answer 10

My friend said he and his wife went swinging, but when his wife was in the other room screaming louder than the women he was with him , he was heart broke. I guess his wife took a hard drive, while he delivered the milk, quitely..