Should I or Shouldn't I?

Question

My ex boyfriend has called my work after a year of being broke-up. While we were broken up he has gotten an STD, a girl pregnant (had mis-carrage) and arrested! He is insisting he has changed since then and wants me back! He insist on getting my cell number he calls my friends trying to get my house number and stuff. He told me I am his bestfriend and the only one he has ever loved. So far I have been taking his calls. What should I do?? Be friends or break off all communication??

Answer 1

Allissa,

I have to wonder - change isn't easy work at all, especially when it's yourself that one is trying to reform. In the year, since he has said that he has "changed," he doesn't appear to have done all that much work. I think in your heart that you know a relationship with this man would be a serious mistake.

Why did you break up with him (or vice-versa)? Did it have anything to do with these sorts of behaviors?

--j.

Answer 2

Dont do it. It's not worth it. At least not yet. I still would not allow him to have your home phone. Maybe just your cell phone number for now so you can monitor his calls and you can be the one to decide whether or not to answer them. The fact that he's gotten an STD would be enough to make my mind up. Depending on what he went to jail for would make a big difference too. He's apparently not been to discreet or careful about who he's slept with either. That would make me second guess him also. To me, it seems the only reason he's calling you all of the sudden is because he's desperate and no other girl will have him now because of his past. You would more than likely be better off without him. If I were you, I would cut off all communication with him. If you don't want to do that, then I would at least make him PROVE that he has changed. If he asks how, tell him that's something he's going to have to figure out for himself. If he truly wants to be back with you that bad, he'll find a way. Good luck!

Answer 3

Break it off. Don't be friends with him. Sounds like he'll be a bad influence.

There's this old addage, "You are who your friends are"

If nothing else, if you continue to hang out with the looser, people are going to think you're a looser too, hence you won't be able to meet a nice guy.

Sounds to me like he's trying to hook back up with you. Thank god he told you all of this crap. What if he tried to hide it and you went back with him and got the STD too? You really need to find a better 'class' of guys to date. This guy has no future.

My prefered action is to no answer his phone calls. Some cell phones will let you select a ringtone for certain people. My suggestion is to program him in as "Silent" or change your phone number.
I mean you could always tell him flat out that you aren't interested in being friends but then again, he could become stalker-esque. I suppose he knows where you live...If you live with your parents they could offer up a bit of protection. If not, you might need a restraining order.

Good Luck!

Answer 4

use your gut feeling i would break it all off but I'm the kind of guy that doesn't forgive once we're done that's it no more i don't care but if you think he deserves a second chance then be all means go for it the next time he calls you ar work make a date don't use your home number or go back to your house. if things go sour have a friend call and an "emergency" and leave quickly have an escape plan just in case

Answer 5

Sorry, but unless you want a relationship with him you need to break off all communication. Right now just by talking to him at all your giving him false hope that you two are going to be together. I don't care that he has changed, his life and his prior choices would still be reason enough to not want to be in a relationship with him. Those things in his past are all things that will continue to play a role in his day to day life for the rest of his life.

Answer 6

Don't get back together with him. However, if you are a strong-willed person, you might be able to help him out by being a friend and encouraging the positive changes he's making in his life. Don't do it by leading him on and making him think you will get back together with him, just encourage him as a friend, and make sure he knows that.
I would suggest to him that he find someone who can help him focus on the positive changes in his life and continue them, like a counselor or someone else who has the time and isn't in as weird a position as you are.

Answer 7

Do you really need the problem? Do you want to be stuck with his
problems ? Think about it! I think that your better off not even speaking too him. The more you converse with him, the more he will be able to talk you into giving up your place of resident, and then your cell #. Think of the reason you broke up with this guy in the 1st place. I think that you like the life you have now, don't let him mess up .

Answer 8

it depends on how you feel about him. I would say bythe brief posting that he is yesterdays new and bad news at that. Only you can answer this question. i would ask myself why you broke up and has he really changed or is he just saying that to get in your pants. trust me when I say this I have been there. My ex ands I have been broken up fo 3 yrs and on occasion I try pulling the old I love you still. I only have one intention in mind. and it's not getting back together

Answer 9

Break off the communication. He seems to have gone down the wrong path. He's lieing about "changing" they all say that.If you stay friends with him he might get YOU pregnant.Or YOU arrested.He is saying he loves you because chances are he will do something bad to you.

Answer 10

You better be away from him. Consider urself lucky that ur not affected with STD or got pregnant. Don't believe in his words and don't have any sort of communication with him. Just forget about him.