how do I leave my abusive relationship?

Question

Not only does this man physically abuse me, but he spends all of our money at strip clubs.

Answer 1

Sounds like a winner, why would you want to end a special thing like this? Stay together for the sake of the strippers.

Answer 2

OK, it is wonderful that you are thinking of leaving. I suggest that you don't just leave at the spur of the moment, because then things may not work out and you may wind up getting hurt b/c he may become EXTREMELY upset because you tried to leave. If you guys have a joint account then you need to open a separate account and start putting money into it. If he is one of those that knows how much money is supposed to be in the account, like he knows your salary or what not then you should tell him your salary has changed. You have to be creative I guess. I know this is difficult and I will not say that I know what you are going through because i have never been in an abusive relationship, but I do sympathize and try to understand. If you are afraid that he will try and kill you, you need to alert your local authorities and maybe start taking some self-defense classes. If you plan on moving, tell NO ONE until you are stable. Stay in contact with your family but don't tell them everything. Send all of your mail to a P.O. box and also start working on any bills that the two of you may have together. You should also consider moving away, like maybe to another state or something. I'm so sorry to hear that you are in this relationship, hopefully things will work out

Answer 3

Plan ahead. Move to another city if you have to and start a new life. Go ahead and find a job and a place to live. Put away some money a little at a time time. Your's is a very dangerous situation so be careful. When you've made the plans and are ready to go, serve him with divorce papers and leave. While you are at it, go ahead and get a restraining order against him. Seek some professional counseling as well to help you through this difficult time. Good luck.

Answer 4

this is an extremely difficult situation to be in. it's not going to be easy for you to leave, but you have to do it. this is neither healthy or is he in love with you. people say we hurt those we care for most thats wrong. he hits you, leaves bruises and doesnt give 2 shits that he does it, right? you need to leave. take pictures of your bruises for court purposes, because each time this happens the guy wont let you go without a fight. you want to leave quietly in this case. when he's out at one of the strip clubs, just pick up and leave. he has the car? call a cab, call an officer to escort you out of there, it doesnt matter. go to a trusted friends or a family member's, but make sure he doesnt know which one you've gone to, because in most cases he'll come around them too. if need be, get a hotel. i know how hard this is, i used to be in an abusive relationship. it's so hard, but i guarantee you can do it. you just cant stay. worry about money later, this could be the difference between life or death.

Answer 5

I would be very careful and look into your community resources such as shelters, domestic violence advocay programs in your area and try to see if they have resources available for you. call the police, the should have a protection from abouse restraining order that is automatic at the tiem of an abusive incident. that woill gvie you 48hrs of no contact via phone or in person. If you have family don't feel to embarassed or ashamed to contact them to let them know. They could be your biggest support in a time like this. Make a plan: find a safe place to hide, get a cell phone, stash about $100 for an emergency fund.

Answer 6

I'm assuming you have already take the decision to leave, that's the very first step. You need to get to a save place, if you have any evidence of being abused (like police records, etc) keep them handy.If you have kids, you have to go to a divorce lawyer, but if not you can go to any court, get a divorce kit and file. Good for you, nobody deserve to be i an abusive relation.

Answer 7

Step 1: Pack your bags.
Step 2: Walk out the door.
Step 3: Drive directly to the courthouse and get a restraining order.
Step 4: Enjoy life like you are supposed to, without a deadbeat who doesn't respect women.

Answer 8

You should probably get a restraining order on the person whom you are in a relationship with. Contact the authorities, and remove yourself from contact with this person. Try not to be by yourself while away from this person. Surround yourself with friends, family, and if you are a member of a church, stay active with that.

Answer 9

Sorry to say that the joke is on you, and this is probably not the first time you've chosen a "winner" like this. I think you should get out, but for your future "luck" stay out of dating for a while and figure out who you are. You might do a little better next time.

Answer 10

You need to start making plans on how you will leave your situation and what your next steps will be after that. Perhaps you have a family member or friends who can assist you?