This friend is married and is attracted to an ex. He was married and is now getting a divorce, she says she still loves him but loves her husband too. I have tried talking to her until I am blue in the face but she says she can't stop thinking about him. She runs into him all the time. They are friends and have been since they broke up. They broke up on good terms. Nothing bad happened for them to split up they just grew apart. What can I tell her to convince her that she is now married and to let it go? And to just be freinds as they always have? Her husband is a good man, treats her good, suports everything she does..she brags about him. Somebody please help me..so she don't make a mistake. She is not even sure she wants to be with this guy she just says she still loves him. She trust everything I say and I don't want her to mistrust me.
2006-07-05 08:25:31 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
She values what I have to say. She always ask me what to do or ask me if it was me what would I do. We have been best friends for 20 yrs.
2006-07-05 08:36:00 · update #1
Honestly...I would tell you to stop what you are doing. Don't meddle in her affairs. Whatever happens she's going to blame you, for preventing her from getting back with the person she loves and/or whatnot. She may be your friend, but ultimately its something she has to decide on her own. Don't try to persuade her into anything, unless you don't mind becoming a scapegoat and hated later on.
2006-07-05 08:33:07 · answer #1 · answered by yogurtsoju 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The grass always looks greener on the other side....sooo many people have made this mistake and will continue to do so....if you can get that point across to her and let her know that you love her enough to tell her NOT to be like all these other people and just let a good thing go because she "thinks" she still may be in love with her ex.....I agree with you...she should let it be and just keep things as friends with the ex.....everything is going fine so far...why mess it up? Is she REALLY willing to possibly lose her husband over this guy? If she is 100% sure then she should just call it quits now.....don't go behind his back....but I'm willing to bet that she's not entirely sure....there's really nothing more you can do about it besides talk reasonably with her, you can't force her to understand where your coming from...I just hope that this attraction with the ex isn't entirely based on simply physical attraction.....that's another thing that people get confused with...there is sooooo much more to a marriage and a steady relationship....being best friends is awfully important as well....if you can have that AND all the rest, then you have it made.
Just keep talking with her and maybe something you say will finally get through to her.
Good Luck!
2006-07-05 08:38:36 · answer #2 · answered by Blue_Girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think Garth Brooks has a song out there that fits here a bit ...
Just the other night a hometown football game
My wife and I ran into my old high school flame
And as I introduced them the past came back to me
And I couldn't help but think of the way things used to be.
She was the one that Id wanted for all times
And each night Id spend prayin that God would make her mine
And if he'd only grant me this wish I wished back then
Id never ask for anything again.
Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers
Remember when you're talkin to the man upstairs
That just because he doesn't answer doesn't mean he don't care
Some of gods greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.
She wasn't quite the angel that I remembered in my dreams
And I could tell that time had changed me
Inn her eyes too it seemed
We tried to talk about the old days
There wasn't much we could recall
I guess the lord knows what hes doin after all.
And as she walked away and I looked at my wife
And then and there I thanked the good lord
For the gifts in my life.
2006-07-05 08:39:12 · answer #3 · answered by J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, a lotta times you'll miss an ex. But she needs to remember all the times shes had with the husband she has now. ex. the romantic dinners, first time they went out, their wedding,ect. I know that you guys must have a pretty tight relationship, but if you've tried everything then maybe she should make her own mistakes. Tell her exactly what you think. If you feel that that wouldnt work out, or it would start a fight, then maybe you should plan something for her and her husband. You can give them gift certificates to their favorite restaurant or something like that. Whatever you do though, dont try to lead her towards a certain guy. she obviously has some serious thinking to do, and hopefully she'll make the right decision. i hope i helped, good luck! (=
2006-07-05 08:31:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Y!A friends I haven't any own friends at residing house considering I have been given married. I in user-friendly terms have 2 or 3 friends on right here yet i think actual on the fringe of them because of the fact I found out lots from them from their profile and their questions and solutions. i might desire to be friends in actual existence with them too if i might meet them. i'm a good chum hassle-free to get alongside with.
2016-12-08 16:00:52 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her learn the hard way. She will realize why he is considered her ex sooner or later. Maybe she won't mess up too bad. Sounds like she is really getting ready to foul up big time.
2006-07-05 08:30:05 · answer #6 · answered by Rooster 1972 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋