i have 2 sons out on their own...when they call me the the conversation starts out pleasant..then they start?

Question

ranting ang raving about the other one..especialy the one son..if i try to say something he gets louder..should i let them call me and vent ? or should i say call me but i won't talk "about the other one"..thanks in advance

Answer 1

just tell your sons you are not getting involved in their problems. and tell them its unfair of them to put you in the middle. tell them they are both grown and they need to start acting like it.

Answer 2

Sibling rivalry is such a wonderful thing (ha ha).....I wouldn't reply to the rantings and pursue another subject. If that doesn't work I would make an excuse that someone is at the door, etc. and that you have to go. Don't get caught in the middle of this, as they are going to have to work it out with each other since this is a problem between each other. They are going to have to realize that you are both their mother and you love them both. One day they might just realize that it hurts you to have them treat one another like this.

Answer 3

When you start talking to them, tell them how it breaks your heart that they are gossiping about the other. If they have a problem they really need to rebuke the other or work it out....they are trying to get you to love one more than the other. Just let each know when they do this to you, it breaks your heart. Then whip up a quick batch of tears and say you have to go and will talk to them later. It works.

Answer 4

I'm not sure if this would work on a guy, I only raised girls, but why don't you try telling him that you understand there are issues between the two of them, but venting to you about it is putting you in the middle and about to tear you apart. Ask him to please vent to a friend or co-worker, that you love both of them just the same despite everything.

Answer 5

You need to put a stop to that, they are using you as a go between, and they are kids anymore. I would tell them, they are welcome to call, and you really want to talk to them, but you won't talk bad about his brother. If they have a problem, they need to work it out with each other.

If that doesn't work, when they call you, and keep bring it up, write down all the stuff and email it to both of them. After a while, they won't tell you anything bad about each other.

It really sounds like they need to grow up. I'm sorry you have had to deal with this, I don't think you deserve this.

Good luck,

Answer 6

Just don't mention the other one at all. I found that if i stick purely to that kid and don't even talk about the other kid it won't happen. Like don't update them on what their brother is doing. Just don't speak of the other brother AT ALL. If they bring it up just ignore it and go on to something else like "how is your job" or "how is your wife" or "how are your kids" or "how is your truck running" or something that does not involve the brother.

Answer 7

This went on in my family with my Mom and you won't get them to stop. Sometimes it makes it worse to try cause then they think you are choosing sides. Try to explain how it upsets you to them

Answer 8

You don't have to be their whipping post.I f they have a problem with eachother, make them work it out between them. Just put your foot down.
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Answer 9

tell them that you dont want to hear them yell and talk about each other if they are gonna call you then they can talk about something else not each other!!!! hope this helps and doesnt make it worse!!!

Answer 10

my dad made me hold my siblings hands try that. have a get together make them talk.