how do u cope with a jealous wife?

Question

we basically live together but have to be apart for certain periods of time because of work.the problem is she knows all my friends and knows that all my friends know how much i love and adore her and will even die for her.i've never cheated on her and i will never cheat on my wife for all the gold on earth.we are both God fearing people but she always trips even if i meet after work with old school mates.its driving me crazy,cld someone please tell me how to deal with this because i dont want my fustrations to get the better of me.the other thing is that we work on differnt continets at the moment,i'm at home she is abroad.i tell her in advance with whom and when i am even if its spontaneuos i call her to let her know.what bugs me most she always says have fun and when i call her later she starts tripping that i'm having fun whilst all i basically do is talk about her all the time to my friends cuz ithink she is the best wife in the whole wide world.i love my wife but how do i cope?

Answer 1

It could be a control issue that is she is trying to control you. It could be she is trying to frustrate you and end your union and it could be she is so insecure or co-dependent "loves to death" that your absence is unacceptable to her.

Counseling is the best option here regardless of the reason for her obsession with your body, life time etc..

Answer 2

Because of work and that you live separately, you have no choice but to live "separate" lives so to speak, which is good in many ways in my opinion. ALL couples need their own time and space away from each other. She doesnt trust you for some reason. She is either "that" type of person or is immature and has some growing up to do. She needs to focus on her well being and independence while you are gone and have her own fun. Staying in touch often by email, phone etc is good. Reassuring her that you love her doesnt seem to be working so dont say it moreso than you regularly would. Ask her to stop whining as there is nothing you can do at present to change your lifestyles. I recommend she get a cat as a companion/for some company. Good luck !

Answer 3

if you've never cheated on her and you're as honest with her as you say you are.. there's not much else you can do. there may be a reason in her PAST that is causing the jealousy that she's worried about may resurface because of your gender. maybe a previous male in her life was unfaithful or promiscuous. just reassure her that she's the only one for you and make sure she knows that she's all you talk about... ' honey the guys were even giving me hell because I wouldn't shut up about you.. they asked me if i knew how to talk about anything besides my wife '

i have the same problem with my boyfriend... he has issues with me going out even though i call him and let him know before or if its spur of the moment i still tell him.. if its obvious he's not invited he kind of throws a little fit... and won't even answer the phone later when i call him. immature really. unfortunately jealousy is a horrible thing and I myself will never understand it.

Just keep the communication clear, and the honesty flowing. Good luck!

Answer 4

Are you certain you have never given her a reason to even suspect that you might be up to something? Have you tried talking to her to find out what's really going on? Have you suggested any marital counseling? Be patient, and always let her know you love her and there is no one else.
perhaps you might want to try some counseling for yourself as well. If nothing else works, maybe you need some professional advice on how you can react to her jealousy before you start to get sick of your wife.

Answer 5

A woman who constantly accuses you of cheating is the best wife in the world. Damn son you have low expectations. I suppose growing a pair at this late stage is out of the question right?

Well sit down with her calmly rationally and explain how you feel. This of course will only reinforce her feelings that you'r e cheating on her but hey you tried to do the right thing.

Answer 6

Dude - that sounds like a super jealous wife and usually if they're THAT jealous, either they watch too much Oprah or they really have something to hide themselves!!!

There's also the possibility that they've been cheated on before and are afraid it will happen again, but that's not as common as they themselves have done something and are watching you like a hawk because of their guilt.

If you go to Church - sounds like you do - go to a counselor or pastor at Church. That's my best thought. Either way, you need a mediator saying okay you do this and you do that . yada yada yada - otherwise nothing will change - that's my two cents worth.

Answer 7

I have a sister that did the same thing to her husband, what he did was stop telling her all the details of his day. She is never going to change so you have to take control of your situation, do not tell her every time you meet with someone its only obvious that she is jealous of your time with him or her, because you are not with her. People can be so insecure, but that is not your problem it is hers, Stop being a time Puncher for Goodness Sakes be a Man!

Answer 8

i think she just misses you, and feels angry with the situation of not seeing you very much, it is normal to be insecure when your not around your partner. But trust is the basis of a strong relationship, and if she doesnt trust you that means your the one suffering. You really need to be close to your wife in every way you can, try to understand her, ask her these questions and tell her how you feel , because you obviously love her sometimes people need to be reminded of that, good luck x

Answer 9

Dealing with a jealous partner can be difficult, but communication is the key. For one, talk about your partner's feelings ahead of time. Put yourself in her shoes and try to understand what makes her change her feelings. Encourage your spouse to have time with friends or do activities to encourage confidence in your relationship.

Answer 10

If you love her that much and she can't deal with you going out or meeting up with friends without her then don't. You can find other things to do. If you can't cope with it this way, then don't tell her every little thing you do. You don't have to lie to her, just don't volunteer so much info if you are doing nothing wrong. Some people are just that way.