but i discovered it through a keylogger and it is now over but there was so many hurtful things that i found out from reading his emails. i just need to know how to truly let it go. ive forgiven him but i think about it constantly. i thought about going to counseling but i live in a small town and there are no counselors here on my insurance provider list. the closest is about 65 miles away and that is too far. sometimes i just feel crazy but i cant make it stop hurting.
2006-07-05 08:09:21 · 7 answers · asked by starla 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Consider this first: you hurt because you were betrayed, and you hurt because you're lonely, and hurt because you were rejected, and you hurt because you are uncertain about your future.
Now: healing all of this takes time. No matter how much counseling you get, no matter who you talk to or what you do, you'll be hurting for a while. That's normal, that's expected, and you should try to be at peace with it.
The good news is, you can reduce the amount of time it'll take. Counseling is a good way to do this, certainly. So is getting out and meeting new people, travelling with a friend or by yourself, getting some new hobbies, taking on a big project -- anything that will keep you involved and interested, so that the part of you that's hurting isn't joined by the parts that are bored, lonely and uncertain. Keep yourself from being bored, lonely and uncertain, and you'll be left with the hurt, but it won't take nearly as long to get past it.
Good luck, and remember that the world is full of broken marriages, where the one who broke it didn't deserve the marriage in the first place, and the innocent one had short-term pain, but went on to a much better life than they could have had with their undeserving spouse.
2006-07-05 08:22:48 · answer #1 · answered by daveowenville 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Divorce. Why would you stay? Unfaithful is a characteristic, it doesn't go away. It sinks and resurfaces. Why wait until you find more info in the keylogger? Don't you want a man you can trust?
Also, how far is too far, when you feel like you are going crazy? I'll go 1 hour and 45 minutes to go to a flea market, for gosh sake! Make the trip, take control, come back to normal.
2006-07-05 08:42:50 · answer #2 · answered by barrwiese 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You'll never forget it, even if you have forgiven him. He broke a bond of trust between you that even with years of complete faithfulness will not resolve. I am not by any means saying that you can't get beyond it and move forward, but you will never be able to erase its effect on your life...The pain it causes will ease up, but when you have a disagreement, it will be the first handful of crap that you will fling onto him.....I can't tell you how many emotions you will feel, but you will feel them ALL. Resentment, hate, love, anger, betrayal....and the list goes on. And because you read the emails, it makes you question yourself even more.....and blame yourself too, doesn't it? My advice to you is from personal experience.....and I know it isn't easy to swallow...
I still cope with it everyday, and resent him for it.....it has been awhile now, and though getting through it together was hard, it has brought us closer, and now, knowing the things that drove us apart, we are more able to work together to make each other happy. The hardest part now for me is.....not hurling a fistful of it at him when he pisses me off. If your man shows signs of TRUE QUILT for what he did, its worth working out...and he'll still feel that quilt for a very long time.....if he doesn't.... he isn't worth keeping.
2006-07-05 08:24:54 · answer #3 · answered by FrEaKoNaLeAsH 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel. Cheating is serious. My husband cheated on me before we got married. He was just as hurt as I was. I did not leave him because I felt that he was very sincere when he apologized. Sometimes they can feel your pain. On the other hand my best friends husband cheated on her and she can't take it. You know what you can tolerate better than anyone else. If it hurts you that much then don't put yourself through it.
2006-07-05 08:21:46 · answer #4 · answered by Keke 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once a cheater always a cheater.Get out now before you really do get hurt.How to you know that he won't do this again?
2006-07-05 09:29:04 · answer #5 · answered by TinkerBell 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
confront him about it. tell him how hurtful it was. the best therapy is to let everything out so you can let the good stuff back in.
2006-07-05 08:14:41 · answer #6 · answered by kimber g 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really don't know how. It sure hurts and makes you feel sick to your stomach!
2015-11-15 04:47:24 · answer #7 · answered by Jane 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋