How do you tell your loved one without hurting their feelings that they are getting fat, you love someone for who they are, but however when you see someone you are atracted by looks first before you ever talk to them, my wife has gained alot of weight in her arms which I feel is unattractive and in her thighs and a little in her stomach and back, but the arms look terrible. She is a stay home mom and has plenty of time to excersise but dont, what can I do before she becomes unattractive to me? And yes I am in shape and work 12 hours a day and still find time to excersise.
2006-07-05 07:51:08 · 11 answers · asked by The King of All Answerer's 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Our youngest child is 3, and she weighs more now than she did after she had our child. I am a jerk thats why I dont want to say anything about it..
2006-07-05 08:15:29 · update #1
You sound like a very caring and loving husband. There is not too many of those around like that anymore.So what I suggest is maybe you make dinner one night and make only natural and healthy foods. Maybe some fruit,ect. Then while you all are eating say some nice things to her and tell her you have been picking up a little weight{whether you are or not} and that you would like for you both to start eating healthy and exercising together.If that doesn't work then tell her that with her being home with the kids and all that you would like for her to get out a little and maybe go out with her friends to the gym or something like that, you get the idea, if that doesn't work either then be HONEST and tell here that you love her dearly which it sounds like you do and that she is letting herself go and you want her to lose some of the weight she has gained. The best of Luck to you Both and I am sure that everything will be okay and work out, because like I said there is not alot of husbands or men around like you that care enough to stay with their partner through thick and then. God Bless you..You may also want to tell her that extra weight can cause heart problems and other health problems and that you want her around to be with you and your kids for the rest of both of your lifes.
2006-07-05 08:11:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure she knows already, you dont have to break it to her. How old is she? You know people dont look like they did at 25 when they are 35. I dont want to sound ugly, but I'm sure you dont look the same either. I'm sure she has plenty of time to work out during the day, what with the 3 year old and all. She doesnt really have anything else to do right? I mean she probably doesnt wash your clothes or cook your supper, what the hell is she doing all day? Sleeping? Probably is getting a nap in there sometime, after all, she was up till 11:00 with the baby. Men will never understand what women do for them, and more importantly, they will never appreciate it. Trade places with your wife. I'm sure you wont get your feelings hurt when she comes home from work and tells you you're a lard ***. The thing is, you GO to work, she stays home and works. When you get home, you sit on the couch and rest, she is still working, right up untill she falls into bed, and then you probably want to get all frisky and all she wants to do is fall asleep right? Typicall. Your wife needs you to make her feel like something other than your maid and babysitter. Hire a babysitter and take her out, not just once and hope she does better, try to do it at least once a week. She also needs time away from you and the children, just time to not think about anyone or anything but herself for a couple of hours. Be a real man, love her because she married you and because she had your baby, not because she used to look hot in a bikini.
2006-07-05 10:19:41 · answer #2 · answered by trebobnagrom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a real jerk. Please don't tell your wife that you think she is getting fat. If she has gained a significant amount of weight, she already knows and doesn't need you to point it out. Everyone gains weight as they age especially women after having children.
Just because your wife stays home does not necessarily mean that she has time to exercise. Taking care of children and running a household is simple but takes an enormous amount of one's time. Like most mothers, she may even feel guilty for taking time out for herself or not even know how to exercise.
If you really feel the need to say something, you have to be careful how you go about doing it. Suggest that you would like to get a membership to a gym for the two of you to stay healthy or ask if she would like to join you when you exercise. As you said, you find the time to do this for yourself. She will be more willing to do it if it means spending couple time together. My husband and I lost 10 pounds each just walking through our neighborhood 2 or 3 times per week. We encouraged eachother to get out there and do something and it became competitive between us. Neither of us would admit to the other when we were tired or wanted to quit so we ended up pushing ourselves a bit more than we might have otherwise.
Just make sure you approach this subject as a matter of health and not how attractive you think she is.
2006-07-05 08:05:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you already work out why dont you do some at home workouts w/her?
Show her some arm work outs by saying in the middle of the work out "Oh babe , This is a great work out check it out."
Say it like its really working for you andyour excited.
Also walking w/ her is a great way to get close .My husband and I love to put the kids down and take a walk.Inches melt.
2006-07-05 07:57:43 · answer #4 · answered by suiki 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough one, especially if she doesn't see it herself. Heck, it's tough if she sees it and just doesn't care. Your best bet is to just be honest with her.
Also, please don't undermind what staying at home really is. HARD WORK. I find that now that I am back to work full time, I have more time to work out than when I was staying at home with the kids.
Also, try to offer a solution at the same time. She will get defensive, don't let it turn into a bitter name calling arguement.
2006-07-05 07:59:55 · answer #5 · answered by MOMof2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her niceley and say.. Hunny I love you very much and always will, but I think maybe you should start excersising, because it will be better for your health, I want you to stay healthy and be happy with yourself." Tell her that she should understand. I know If my husband felt that way I would want him to confront me niceley about it and help me so I can stay looking good for him. And I trust him enough to be able to sit down and talk to me and help me with it. If he didnt then I would probley feel bad as i got bigger. I want to make sure my husband is happy with all of me. And if he sees something he would like me to work on he would tell me and I would work on it and he would be right there by my side.
2006-07-05 07:59:34 · answer #6 · answered by Piper 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't tell her nothing start buying healthy food and a gym membership.
When you get home from work take care of the kids and clean the house and fix a healthy dinner while she goes to the gym to work out.That way when she gets home she can eat a healthy meal.
2006-07-05 07:56:59 · answer #7 · answered by Lilly K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you'll watch the kids if she want to go work out. Keep encouraging her to go to the gym without being a jerk about it.
2006-07-05 07:59:41 · answer #8 · answered by sweetie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you could suggest that both of you guys join a gym or take up running, so that it looks like your looking for together time.
2006-07-05 07:55:42 · answer #9 · answered by tryme 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask her to join you to exercise even if it's a walk down the street, it's better to do things together.. and having babies will put weight on any mother... so give it time...and more complements and let her know you love her each and every day!!!
2006-07-05 07:58:37 · answer #10 · answered by montanamom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋