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I’ve been friends with a girl for about 24 years. When we were really young, we’ve been best friends, but now she’s not really a good friend anymore. She annoys the hell out of me. She nags about her life, but she doesn’t do anything about it.
For example: she’s almost 30 years old, but still lives with her parents, never had a boyfriend and she doesn’t really like her job. But she only complains about it, she never takes action to change it. And that’s not the only thing, but I won’t bore you with more details.

I thought I could escape her by not calling her, but she keeps on calling and texting me. She just doesn’t take a hint. Because I’ve known her for ages, I would like to bring the message easily…. But how?
Plus: it feels weird to break up with a friend. Most friendships just fade.

2006-07-05 07:40:32 · 17 answers · asked by The Phantom 4 in Family & Relationships Friends

17 answers

Well, since you are thinking of not being friends with her anymore anyway.... I say tell her exactly why you are sick of her. It may be the eye opener she needs to get her on another track. At best she may change her whole attitute, at worst you will have made your peace with it.

2006-07-05 07:44:46 · answer #1 · answered by dlgrl=me 5 · 0 0

I dumped my best mate after 17 years. She changed beyond all recognition and just wasn't the happy-go-lucky person I used to know. I'd been there for her through thick and thin, yet when I had my first child she didn't even call me! Eventually came to see me after six weeks and the gift she'd bought for my son was too small already! I stuck by her for another two years of moaning and groaning and never laughing and eventually I'd just had enough. It all came to a head (shan't bore you with the details) and I told her that enough was enough and she was no longer a friend. I haven't seen or spoken to her since and that was almost five years ago. She tried to phone me once but I didn't take the call. It wasn't easy - I cried a lot and missed her terribly. I've even had dreams about her. But I know I'm better off without her in my life. If you think it's over, it probably is. Email me if you need a shoulder to cry on - I know it hurts.

2006-07-05 09:25:05 · answer #2 · answered by Away With The Fairies 7 · 0 0

24 years is such a long time to have someone in your life and then not. She will probably freak out. But you must still care for her on some level if you are concerned for her feelings. Why not just talk about how you feel? Bring up all of the stuff she does that annoys you and explain that some things have to change or you will have to end the friendship. I mean don't threaten, just explain that its for your own mental health and happiness that you are ready to move on. Good luck!

2006-07-05 07:50:52 · answer #3 · answered by Girasol 5 · 0 0

Well there is nothing worse than having to end a realationship whether its friendship or a bf/gf, in my experience i doubt your friend will change, cause she doesnt sound like she wants 2, some people love living in misery and unfortunitly drag other people down with them. if ur 100% sure this friendship insnt fixable and ur sure ur friend isnt going through spell of depression then i would continue ignore her calls and texts, if u do see her passing be polite and just keep saying ur busy

hope it helps

2006-07-05 08:14:05 · answer #4 · answered by jojo 4 · 0 0

Friends will come and friends will go! I had a friend I had to dump too. It was hard to do but she would dump on me and bring me down and she did not bring out the best in me. When I got rid of her I met a few new friends and I haven't looked back.

Tell her you need to move on and you wish her well, your lives are going in different directions. and you need to move on. Or you can send a letter or don't answer her calls and texts get a new phone number. It is hard to do and sometimes you feel guilty. Just move on your ready! Best wishes!!

2006-07-05 07:47:54 · answer #5 · answered by Mommytothreein20months 2 · 0 0

you had been friends for so long. dont you think it is a waste for you to just give up now. There might be a time where you may need her help. If you think she is too much, just be honest and put it nicely to her. Maybe give her a advice and tell her tyo stop complaining and make her feel better. enrol her in some class so that it might take things off her mind.

2006-07-05 07:47:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

i think that you should put more effort in helping her. just because her life turned out to be less fortunate than yours that is no reason for you to dump her, real friends don't come along very often believe me, i know, i don't had friends for more than 1 year, and that is because i always see the negative things in people and not the positive.

2006-07-05 08:38:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

You're probably her only friend, so she won't take any hints. When she calls, don't listen to her woes. Tell her you are busy and she'll have to talk to someone else. You will have to learn the word NO.

2006-07-05 07:49:31 · answer #8 · answered by folklore 7 · 0 0

this is a hard one. you've been friends for 24 years so it's going to be very hard on her. however , i think you've been a sounding board for far too long now so i would dump her too. just tell her it's time she got herself a life and that you are sick of being dumped on, then move on. it's harsh but she obviously cannot take a hint!

2006-07-05 07:45:42 · answer #9 · answered by stingub40 4 · 0 0

Okay yeah..she's just way too ughh...just let her off slowly and say most friendships don't last as long..I wouldn't call it dump but letting go..and if she starts to cry say life goes on and I just had to go with it.

2006-07-05 08:00:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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