iam 29 years and jobless. i dont know what i want is that normal?

Question

my carrer and life rocketd way back when i was just 19 but i couldnt fulfill my dreams. And since, my life has come to a standstill and i am sitting at home doing nothing for th last 4 years. I dont have much friends and do dwell ovr the things i had and missing. I am not sur if i am still young to start again and if so then what can a man my age (29) do?? Is there anyone else too who would be like me thinking of starting something. All my friends are having a career and i feel shy to speak to them. What are my options? I am finanacially ok but then i feel misreble to seek help. is it normal to think that i have made a mistake and should work on overcoming this thoughts. I feel that all of my friends have gone very far and iam alone.

Answer 1

dont be crazy. it'll come. start looking aruond. man y people are the same

Answer 2

If it is any consolation, I am an Accountant, I did not do well at School and had no momey when I was 30. I seemed to spend a lot of time watch TV and then I decided that the time I was spending either thinking about doing something or just watching TV could be put to better use. I decided to study accountancy and never looked back. I know it is not the best job in the world but it has brought me security. I have a resonable job. I think you should just make a decision and go for it. Think about you can either do something or nothing - do nothing means nothing will change. Sounds like you need a goal and as for being to shy to ask, I bet you 100% that all your friends would be more than happy to help you - if not maybe they are not the friends you thought they were. There is a whole world out there go and see it.

Answer 3

I feel for you, mate.

It is absolutely not too late.

Firstly, I think it's a good thing that your friends are getting on with their lives. It helps to keep you wanting to move on. Their success should spur you on, and not discourage you.

There are many things I'm sure you could do, whether that's to go straight into some kinda job or study a course or something.
But I think the hardest thing at first will be to just get up and do something. After a while, doing something can feel more and more pointless and you may feel you don't have the energy anymore and you may feel like you're over the hill (29? You ain't over the hill, bruv) and then you begin to recount all the missed opportunities in the past...

GET UP! Decide that you've had enough. Go back to the Job Centre, get on the job hunting web sites, and if not that then visit some colleges and check out what courses they have to offer and go enroll and if there are obstacles on the way consider those obstacles reason to stay motivated and beat them.

Not knowing you personally, but knowing many in the same place (even drug addicts who wasted their teenage and twenties getting high but have managed to pull it together and become succesful in their thirties) I believe it's just Getting Up that'll be the main struggle. After that the momentum will start to build and it's often MOMENTUM that gets us out of ruts.

I hope and pray the best for you, mate. It's not too late.

You can email me if you like. All da best

Answer 4

Hi there!I am 31 and gave up work after the birth of my second child,been at home almost 3 yrs now and feel abit lost,lonely and fed up too so I understand.I dont have many real friends -just other mums that I chat to at toddler group once a week....I dont think I have depression but who knows-I do feel fed up...any way,back to you,my hubby is also 29 and sick to death of is factory job,his been there 7 yrs and now hates it-his going back to college to re-train as an electrician and hopefully become self employed....with the hope of earning much more money-apparently there is a big demand for plumbers and electricians in the UK!Try looking for new avenues you could explore-29 is not too old-just dont leave it till your 39 and wish you had done something else!Take care,lucy xxx

Answer 5

Most people I know feel this way, including me. You probably put the most pressure on yourself. I thought that at 30 I'd be the perfect wife, mother & career woman - I'm 32 now & further away from any of it than when I was 19. Try to remain positive even though it seems hard & when most things seem against you focus on the stuff that makes you happy. Most of your friends are probably slightly envious that you're not tied down but doing ok for money. Stick it out something will come along just don't be too impatient!

Answer 6

Hi, it sounds like you're battling a fear of failure. It keeps you thinking in a circle with the same thoughts of the past, and the same judgements, going round and round in your head.

Here's the way the universe works: like energy attracts like energy. That's also a law for physics, even if you don't believe in metaphysics. Everything has energy, even your brain activity i.e. your thoughts. So if you think about what you don't want or what mistakes you assume you have made, guess what happens? The universe brings like energy to your thoughts, and manifests circumstances in your life that keeps those thoughts alive. It brings circumstances into your life that you don't want to happen.

So at 29, the question would be, what do you belive in? What are your priorities. If you define your life and your beliefs, you'll find a way to make a living. In the meantime, make yourself feel good: do volunteer work that helps someone else. In other words, get out of your own way.

Each day, write, not think of, write a list of what you have to be greatful for such as I have a roof over my head, I have at least one friend, I'm physically healthy, I saw a bird outside my window, ect. It's a very simple exercise that helps put your life in perspective. Volunteer work takes the focus off of you and fills a need for someone else.

So if you find your life is not working for you, and it sounds like you don't, then what are you willing to do to change it? If it means finding a counselor, then do it. If it means finding your spiritual path, then do it. We have to recognize that we, as individuals, are not the center of the universe. We are just one small part. And all of the parts fit together to make the whole.

You can find your part! Good luck!

Cheryl

Answer 7

Hey i'm 31 and STILL don't know what I want to do. Don't worry about it, give yourself a shake and get out there. Be positive and people will see that, and be drawn to it. I was in a rut for 3 years and really depressed I spoke to a councillor (Which I was totally against doing!) and it worked wonders for me. Trust me, the weight will fall off your shoulders when you talk through stuff, any stuff, no matter how trivial it may seem at the time. If your car breaks down, go to a garage. If a water pipe bursts in your house phone a plumber. Im sure you know all this, if you are feeling depressed there are people there who can genuinely help. Talk to someone, don't leave it stuck inside. =)

Answer 8

Its absolutely normal to not know what you want to do at 29! Most people are stuck in a dead end job, hate it, can't quit work because of money and look forward to retirement when they hope they'll have enough to do all the things they dream of.
Could I suggest you try a couple of taster courses at your local college? Do some stuff you'd never have thought of trying. I don;t think your biggest problem is not knowing what to do, I think you feel lacking in assertiveness. If you felt more confident and self assured you'd be like a lottery winner who no longer has to work and is thanking their lucky stars.
And stop comparing yourself to your mates; you tried that lifestyle and hated it.
Learn to write a website. Buy a camera and take up photography. Go and learn screen printing. Do something that'll help you to express how you feel and communicate emotion to others. Pick a charity and do a bit of volunteer work for them, get some self esteem again.
And you really must learn to enjoy life again!

Answer 9

I went to college at 38, its never too late to change your career. I have just completed 10 years as a childcare professional and am about to start on my third career.
You only get out of life what you put into it.
Do some voluntary work to get you back into the workplace, this should help build your confidence.
Good Luck!

Answer 10

Things like that happen to a lot of people, and many of us aren't sure what we really want. But to be doing nothing for that long isn't healthy for you. Try to get out there and work part-time - just about any job will do. At least you'll be out meeting people instead of dwelling on your past.

Good luck to you.

Answer 11

Well I'm 29 also. My life took a dump on me very early, about 13. From that point on I went on a downward spiral. Slowly but surely I lost everything. Friends, family, jobs, possesions, etc. When you get to that point there is only one way to turn. My friend, that is to God himself. Don't get me wrong. I didn't know what to ask for, how to ask, or anything. I said help me please! And He did. Over time I have layed down the drugs, quit stealing, and all that good stuff. I think any answer we seek that our family or friends are not able to help us with, God can! Just ask. Sometimes I yell at Him. I don't reccomend it, but He knows how you feel and wants to help you, but you have to ask for it.