My boyfriend and me having a baby. What to do?

Question

Im 6 months pregnant with a baby girl and im 15 and my boyfriend is a 16 year old dopeboy but me gettin pregnant was not a mistake really.I learned my lesson,but my problem is that i dont want to raise my child with that kinda money. I always tell my boy that but he say "thats what we have to live on for now on" cuz now im stayin with him. i don want our daughter to live around drugs or dopeheads and he understands but he say "thats the way it gotta be baby" cuz i cant just leave him cuz he is all i have but he say that he cant change that cuz thats what he always lived around. I know he can support me and my child cuz he always been there for me when i need something but right now i don want that kind of money when it is dealing with our child.....Can someone please help me and tell me what i should do or not do???

Answer 1

The baby isn't a mistake, but you shouldn't even be around drugs, especially while you are pregnant. It doesn't sound like you are mature enough to take care of yourself, let alone, a baby. Do you have parents? Where are they? You need to go to the Department of Human Services and tell them that you need help. Stay far away from your sorry boyfriend. He is trouble. If you get caught in that house with drugs, your baby will be taken away from you in a second. If you want the baby, go get help, if not, give it up for adoption. The baby deserves a good home and family to take care of it and love it. It didn't pick your dope head boyfriend or you for parents. Give the poor thing a chance. After you have the baby, go to the health department and get on birth control. STAY AWAY FROM THE DOPE HEADS!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HAVING SEX WITH A DELINQUENT DRUG USER ANYWAY?

Answer 2

You learned your lesson? Youre 15 years old, pregnant and now living with a 16 year old drug dealer???? But you learned your lesson???

this is a sad fact of life. Your man is exactly right - he knows nothing other than selling drugs. Probably because his father or role model never bothered trying to find a real job, or getting an education or something - God forbid having to actually WORK! And I can guarantee something - if you stay in this relationship with this man, your child will learn the same thing and grow up to be the same drug pushing type that he is. Its a vicious circle, one that is nearly impossible to escape.

Instead, Id implore you to make a difficult, yet best decision for you, as you are too young to have a child. Either abort the fetus, or give it up for adoption. Remove yourself from this relationship and stop having unprotected sex (Im not telling you to stop altogether - just use protection!) Go to school, educated yourself, and then get a real job. Then, when you are in the correct mental state and financial situation, you can have a child. But you are still a child yourself, any way you cut it. And Children shouldnt raise children.

Its really a shame that so many people here are telling you that you should have kept your legs closed....this is not about that. We've already established that youve made a mistake. Thats not the point, and I apologize for all their ignorance. But if you really take the time to think about it, what choices do you have other than living off his drug money or living offf my tax dollars?? Welfare is another terrible cycle you do not want to get yourself into either...it is nearly impossible to get off it.

Whatever you do, I hope that you make the right choice. I hope that your child doesnt grow up to learn the same wrong lessons that you and your man have, or your child will grow up to be a drug dealer or welfare teen-mom as well. Do you really want that for your child??

Answer 3

There are plenty of options out there for you. I'll tell you now, dealer boyfriends are NOT GOOD FATHERS. I know this from experience. You will always have problems with the drug drama, the jail-time, the bailing him out, etc. etc. Your financial situation will never be good. What you need to do is ditch the dude. If your parents aren't supporting you, you will need to go to the local Division of Family Services in your state and let them know the issue, that you need help with child care, food, etc. Find someone you trust to watch your child while you work, because if your parents aren't helping, you're going to need to work. I've spent four years raising my daughter on my own (I had her at 19). It's hard and it is the biggest responsibility you will ever have in your life. You are responsible for the well-being and happiness of an entire human being. You will need to do a GED program to get your high school diploma, and when you and your child are both older and have had time to settle things out, you will want to go to college because you can only get so far without a degree. Even an AA will make your life way easier. Really, seriously consider whether or not you are ready and able to rear a well-adjusted person, whether or not you are prepared to be the everything your child needs. Adoption is always an option, if you have no other recourse. You do not have to rely on anyone. Women are more powerful than men like him want you to think. Good luck.

Answer 4

Your so young sweetie, I bet it is horribly hard for you having a baby. I had a baby when I was 20 and that was hard enough, I can't even imagine how you are feeling. I'm pretty sure you want to keep your baby and raise him/her because I can see that you are already worrying like a mother. Have you considered going to church (you may already go) and talking to a youth leader, pastor, or just a member. They may be able to help you and your boyfriend get on the right track with the money you are using to raise you child, and possibly more. Their are other places that will help teen families also. I don't know what sate you live in so I couldn't look anywhere up for you. And, as the advice from one parent to another, do everything you can to raise you child in a loving, safe, and healthy enviroment. Your child always comes first, then everything else is secondary. Good luck sweetie and I wish I could help you more. Congratulations on your pregnancy. It'll be a tough road, but if you're stong, you'll make it.

If you need to talk further here is my e-mail.

[e-mail]

Answer 5

If he really loves the baby and you really don't want raise your baby around drugs then why doesn't he just give you money to move away to a nice area and raise the baby. He could leave his drugs at home and visit once in a while. Then while he is send you money maybe you could finish school and do something like get your nursing degree. Something that you could support you and your baby on then completely remove yourself and child from the drugs and money. Also if he doesn't want to do that go and take advantage of some of the public assistance there is out there. You need to get you and your baby out of that environment anyways. You could get your child taken away so fast if he ever got caught. You can do it on your own if you really have the will. There is lots of assistance and people out there to help you. You just have to ask. Also one last thing and this is from experience...you being 15 and him being 16 the likely hood the two of you will be together 20 years from now is very minimal. So if it were me I would think of only my child and myself right now and do what is best for the two of you and the heck with him (no offense). Good luck.

Answer 6

It is obvious you love your baby! And I applaud your morales about raising your child. However, at this point you must ask yourself, is there a way to raise your child the way you think she should be raised? and what are your options? do you have family members who are supporting you? if so I would kick this boy,and I say boy because at 16 your not a man, bar far. Ha 25 year old boys have trouble being a man. And just because he has fathered a baby doesn't mean he is a man!!! A real man would work his butt off at a legal job and support his family the right way. What about your education? will you beable to finish that? Sometimes we have to really search within ourselves to discover what is best for our children.... And all the mothers who couldn't support themselves let alone a baby loved that child soooo much they wanted so much more than the oportunity they had/have they made a very wise and intelligent disition to givet their baby to a couple who so desires a child and has the means to support this child emotionally, physically and financially. I am not say for you to give your child away. But I do suggest seeking some counseling about your life style and the situation. or at least talk with your doctor. I do hope you are seeing a doctor?
I have four boys and give my left harm for a little girl... and there are many couples in this world that would do the same for any child. Oh, and if your man really loved you and wanted to change his life style he would do it with out blinking an eye. If you think you will change him, you can only lead the horse to water you can't make him drink. Good luck my dear and God bless you and your presious little girl.

Answer 7

I have a question for you....What are you and the baby going to do when your boyfriend is in the slammer? If he was a real man and wanted to be a real father and gave a damn about you and the baby, he would find another job. It always surprises me to find that young people are so quick to want something that can't begin to know how to take care of. On the other hand, If you are having a baby because this is what you wanted at 15 then you owe that baby a better life than a drug dealer can give. Money doesn't make the world better just easier to live in. No one is belongs to someone and you should learn now that you are responsible for what is brought into your baby's life and who.
Just watch the news, honey, you see it everyday. Drugs are not a way of life but an invitation for destruction. Find another way, speak to your family, be careful of your choices. They don't just affect you alone anymore.

Answer 8

I think that everyone should be ashamed of themselves for telling you to give the baby up for adoption. YES you are very young, YES you should have had more sense, YES it is going to be hard. But NO ONE has the right to tell you to give your baby up because you made a mistake.
You are not the first 16 year old to get pregnant and you wont be the last. It's no big deal. Now you have to grow up and your an adult. You have to think about YOUR child and no one else. D@mn your man, d@mn yourself, that baby is your first priority.

Please do the right thing and PROTECT your child. Remember, it's going to be hard. It's hard for 20, 30 and even 40 year olds. So take your time, learn all you can, lean on friends and family and everything will be okay. - Good Luck!

Answer 9

If you care for that child you will either leave that boy, cause that is what he is a BOY!!! Or put that baby up for adoption or find a foster family that will help raise it until you are financially able and ready to raise the child on your own. The baby does not deserve to be brought into that kind of life and neither do you. You are way to young yourself you had alot of growing up left to do. None of us can make your decisions for you, but I'm sure we all share the same thoughts about this. Good luck in doing the right thing.

Answer 10

You have to do what is best for your baby. Being around dopeheads is not best for your baby. You are responsible for making a life that is good for your baby. You cannot depend on the guy to do it. Because it is your baby, your responsibilitly if he won't take responsibilitly you have to. If you do not leave him you will be raising a child with a dopeboy and dopeheads around. I don't think that's very nice for your baby. Maybe you could move back with your parents until you can make it on your own.