Ok...My husband finally got a job...(he has a bad record so it was hard to get a job) anyways, it is from 4pm to 12:30pm...This scares me...I don't like to be home alone at night....Can this cause a problem in our marriage??? Has anyone gone through this????I don't want him to lose this job , how can I cope with being alone at night????
2006-07-05 06:50:03 · 10 answers · asked by ERICKSMAMA 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My husband works night too as a dining room manager for an upscale restaurant. Most evenings I'm home alone until midnight, and sometimes later when the restaurant closes later. We've been married almost a year and I've gotten more used to it but it's still uncomfortable at times. I try not to watch any scary movies on TV. I know that sounds funny, but if you can find stuff to do - find a hobby or something creative to keep your mind off being by yourself, it really helps. I also visit my family a couple nights a week. I don't know if it would lead to divorce - I don't think so, I actually enjoy the free time on occasion, but I know exactly how you feel and I hope it works out!
2006-07-05 06:56:23 · answer #1 · answered by Rachel 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I am in a similar situation. My husband is gone from 1PM to 11:30PM or later. I am terrified of being alone at night. My best advice is to get a dog...a big one! Do things that make you feel safe. Lock all the doors and windows, live in a neighborhood where you have good neighbors and get their phone numbers and put them all on speed dial on your phone. Also 911. If you can not afford a security system for your house, then do these and other small things that make you feel secure. Close all your curtains and turn on all the lights. It will not seem so much like night outside if you can not see outside. Call friends and stay on the phone after dark or go visit a friend until time for him to come home so you are not alone. There are a million ways to handle your fear but most importantly, do not give in to fear. You are better than that! Fear does not have you, you have it!
2006-07-05 13:59:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can kinda relate. My husband has had a night job for as long as I can remember. From 2pm-11pm, sometimes later if his job requires. When we were dating, it was okay because we live an hour away from each other, so I see him on the weekends. We live with his family and eventhough there's a lot of people, I still keep to myself. I find hobbies to do and I'll go window shopping...anything to keep myself busy until I can go home and go to bed.
His job hours still bother me and I think if it weren't for my patience and his understanding, we would be fighting everyday about it. He promises to change his job as soon as he can find another one. Sometimes it's the peace of mind that keeps me going. I know he's trying and that's enough for me. Granted there are days when I want to pull out my hair.
Maybe you can go to a friend's place or go to dinner with relative? Or your parents? Or anyone within driving distance? I think having a dog also gives me peace at night to hear them barking now and then. If there is anything that makes you feel safe or not scared, by all means get it.
2006-07-05 13:58:06 · answer #3 · answered by jade11378 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jobs can be hazardous to a marriage, it happens all the time. However, in this case, I should think that you have some fears that are going to cause a larger problem than his job. It's all in how you approach the situation and you've already convinced yourself this is not going to work because of your fears. You should discuss this with your husband and possibly seek some counseling. Good luck!
2006-07-05 13:56:40 · answer #4 · answered by cgspitfire 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be lucky he got a job with his background..
so try and full fill your time with a pet or hobby until he gets home.. and let him know you support him and love him just don't let him know you are scared to be alone this may cause him to not try to do better for himself or you. you could get a friend to come over once in awhile? or chat on the phone or computer all night until he returns any thing to help keep your mind off being alone. and in time you will learn it's ok to be apart for a short time.
2006-07-05 13:58:32 · answer #5 · answered by montanamom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but you should be more scared of his bad work record. With him having that bad work record you should be more afraid of being homeless compared to being alone at night.
2006-07-05 13:55:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
get a dog or a cat to keep you company, but whatever you do do not say anything just be happy your husband went out there to find a job, there are so many woman out there who's husbands won't even do that
2006-07-05 13:53:24 · answer #7 · answered by mimismom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oo... I'm scared of being alone at night...
jeez. you sound pretty imature. That probably is more harmful to your marriage than him getting a swing shift job.
2006-07-05 13:53:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
get a dog or a friend that can stay with you till he gets home
2006-07-05 13:53:42 · answer #9 · answered by A Friend of the Devil 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
THE SEX LINE GET IT...HA HA HA HA HA
2006-07-05 15:51:34 · answer #10 · answered by ... 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋