My husband is married to his job. He hasn't touched me in over 7 months. He is verbally, emotionally, and mentally abusive to me and physically to my children ( I have stopped it). I am in physical therapy for a bad back and my therapist is single and is sending signals. Should I go for it? If my husband fins out that will be it however he has a lot of money and I would get at least half. I need advice. Please Help. Kids are 20 and 21.
2006-07-05 06:40:17 · 30 answers · asked by kksay 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ask your self, do I still love him? Think about it, talk to him about how you fell and if his hurting you and you cant deal with it anymore leave him, your children are adults. they soon will be on there own, and you will be alone, don't think now in an affair, think about all the aids, hep c etc. No one deserves it, right? take a time for you maybe after u are alone you can find someone, at that time you would be clear headed and not like know confused and needing attention . think first don't do something crazy that you can regret latter. Good luck!
2006-07-05 07:21:25 · answer #1 · answered by kpax 1 · 5⤊ 2⤋
"After 24 1/2 years of marriage" ... that is a long time!!!
"My husband is married to his job" ---->>>> My question is how much of the 24.5 year of marriage was he also "married to his job"??
After roughly 294 months "He hasn't touched me in over 7 months" ---->>>> ... you need to find out why after so long he suddenly does not want to touch you
"He is verbally, emotionally, and mentally abusive to me and physically to my children" ---->>>> ... how long has he been this/that way? ---->>>>Did you report any of this to any authority?
"I am in physical therapy for a bad back and my therapist is single and is sending signals. Should I go for it?" ---->>>> NO ... do not get involved in an adulterous situation ... because you could lose more!!
" ... however he has a lot of money" ---->>>>... that is because he "is married to his job"
"...and I would get at least half" ---->>>> what makes you think so? ... not necessarily ... especially if you are blamed for the marriage breaking up ... if you have an affair with the therapist.
I need advice ---->>>> you have not said anything about trying to repair an obviously troubled relationship ... communicate ... communicate ... communicate.
2006-07-05 07:01:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
WHAT, ARE YOU CRAZY? No one asks to have an affair. This will only become a personal strain on yourself. If he is "married to his job" you should provide the means to o more FUN things in life. Set up a candlelight dinner, catch a movie, go to the beach, etc. He is is abusive, confront him!!! Tell him he has changed over the course of the marriage, and you need counseling teogether. Saving a marriage is better that starting over. As you your therapist, don't return the signals, getting involved with him will break your barriers,
And how can you think of money at a time like this, when your life has taken a toll. Your kids should be willing to confront their father, now that they are grown-ups. The 3 of you should confront this man and tell him to take control of his life.
Love the man you married, and don't give up on him... he can change.
2006-07-05 06:50:11 · answer #3 · answered by starrynight107 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having an affair is not the answer. If you and your children are in an abusive situation you need to get out of it for the sake of all involved. As for your bad marriage you need to end it before you get involved with someone new. Your children are grown if they are still living with you maybe the three of you should get a place together.
If your therapist is willing to have an affair with you do you think your the first and will be the last. What kind of relationship can you have with someone that cheated with. Yo will always be wondering in the back of your mind if he is cheating on you.
Good luck!
2006-07-05 06:53:46 · answer #4 · answered by qti36 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell your husband there is a problem. Does he know how you feel? Don't assume. Tell him how you feel and be prepared to listen to what his reponse is. If you let him know that this way of life for you is not going to cut it, then he just might get the hint. If there is still love between the two of you, try to work it out. If not, get a divorce, then get with your therapy friend. Having an affair is never the answer. You can't have your cake and eat it too. The grass is not always greener on the other side.
2006-07-05 06:49:20 · answer #5 · answered by Steve Gator 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, your therapist is being very unprofessional, he could lose his license for what he's doing with you. From what you told me about your husband, you need to go to a professional therapist because the one you got now is a quack and get away from hubby.
He's an abuser and life is too short. Just because you're married close to 25 years doesn't mean it should be a life sentence. Good luck.
2006-07-05 06:54:04 · answer #6 · answered by marianlaughs 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the first thing you need to do is talk to your husband. Make him understand what you`re going through. The second thing is to get another therapist so you can talk to him about your problems instead of having him coming on to you. If this goes on then I think you should divorce him. BUT if you don`t have any feelings for your therapist and only want some action, then it`s called cheating. You make the call.
(If you do decide to have an affair, make sure that you don`t get caught.)
2006-07-05 06:47:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, absolutely not.
If you want to end your marriage, tell your husband, file for divorce, and then move on.
If you don't want to end your marriage, it's pretty obvious that an affair is not the way to go. Make an appointment with a marriage counselor. Tell him to meet you there. If he won't go, then you know you need to end it. If he will go, then during the first appointment, tell him quietly and calmly that you don't get what you need from the marriage and you want to work it out so that both of you get what you need.
You cannot fix your marriage by turning away from it. An affair is just that.
2006-07-05 06:46:06 · answer #8 · answered by Otis F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. How would you feel if he had an affair behind your back?
I don't know why you are still with the guy. You and your children have suffered enough. Leave him. I'm sure your children will understand, they're 20 and 21 years of age for goodness's sake!
Unless you leave him, you are depriving yourself of new adventures and the possibilities of meeting new people who will actually treat you the way you would like to be treated.
2006-07-05 06:45:02 · answer #9 · answered by Trixi Curious 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. Sounds like it's all about "me". If you're that miserable and you're so sure you're going to get "half" then why are you even in the marriage to start with? From personal experience, life is much sweeter when you're on your own than maintaining an abusive relationship. Move on, find out what makes you happy without another person involved in your life and then find "Mr. Right".
2006-07-05 06:53:44 · answer #10 · answered by cgspitfire 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your kids are adults now, would you need to worry for them financially? Perhaps it would be best to talk to the kids before you jump into an affair? Why not tell your husband about wanting to divorce since you're assuming it will happen after he finds out about the affair? Or serve him with divorce papers? Sounds like you're ready to move on.
2006-07-05 06:44:43 · answer #11 · answered by jade11378 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋