I just found out my fiance slept with another girl 2 weeks before he proposed to me. Although we are newly engaged, we have been together for a long time and also have 3 children together. I am so hurt by what he has done, but i dont believe he would cheat on me if we were married. Should i go ahead with the marriage or just leave?
2006-07-05 06:25:49 · 48 answers · asked by sara r 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I do not believe in staying with someone "For the kids". That can be more damaging than anything else. Usually I would say, go with your heart, but I think that when people cheat they will cheat again, married or not.
2006-07-05 06:31:02 · answer #1 · answered by Apple 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So what would the REAL difference be between now and once you two are married...... a piece of paper? Is that paper what you think is going to make the difference and stop him from cheating again? DO NOT go ahead with the marriage until you know 110% that you trust him with EVERYTHING. If you guys already have 3 kids and have been together for a while then getting married probably won't change anything at all..... other than legal responsibilities. Sometimes you need to use your head and not your heart so much....
2006-07-05 06:41:44 · answer #2 · answered by BrownTown 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave...a cheater doesn't care about the status of your relationship. Being married will not change him and make him suddenly behave. He showed no respect for your relationship when he cheated even though he planned on marrying you at the time so how can you believe that he will care if your married or not. Forget the wedding and start getting child support instead. You deserve a man who will love you and only you and respect the relationship you two have together.
2006-07-05 06:29:11 · answer #3 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you put a hard question at hand here.
Remember the only one that knows the CORRECT answer is you.
You have to do a lot of soul searching to see if you can forgive him.
I think you should hold the wedding off. Give him a very long chance for the sake of the kids. So that if and when you leave him you can say to yourself "I truly gave him a chance and he took it for granted".
Be prepared for the best and the worst. You never know but try to give him a chance. I think counseling would be great if he loves you he will do it. Maybe he really really feels bad and knows he made a mistake.
Question did he tell you or did you find out on your own?
2006-07-05 06:45:52 · answer #4 · answered by martica595500 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whether or not you're married will not affect if he cheats. I would agree that it's likely he'll cheat again. I would put the engagement on hold for a while so you can have time to recover from the cheating and have a chance to consider your options.
I would be curious to know why he cheated right before proposing. The timing would make me question his committment to you. Sounds like you should pick his brain to inquire about the timing.
2006-07-05 06:45:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Baby... What do you feel?
I personally say once a cheater, always a cheater. Why do you not think he would cheat on you while you were married? ? ? You all have been together for ____ years and have 3 children. You two are already married to each other, maybe not on a piece of paper... but committingly.(is that even a word ;0) I believe if he loved you he never would of cheated on you.
~~~~~~~~~ Now maaaaaaaybe he was just sowing his oats. But concerning the facts.... Prenups are always good... and they don't have to be monetary... It could be a stipulation of monogamy.. if he cheats he gets nothing!
2006-07-05 06:34:36 · answer #6 · answered by Sunshine_Diva 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would leave him. People make the mistakes of staying together for the kids but i think it would do more damage than good if you stay with him for that reason. Once a cheater always a cheater, try to find someone else who will treat you right and respect you. Without trust, a relationship can't work.
2006-07-05 06:29:48 · answer #7 · answered by Still Halloween 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you could erase this one time would he still be the man you want to be with? Does he love you? does he provide well enough for you and your children? does he make you happy? Does he know that you know? Most importantly do you love him and have a happy and healthy relationship besides this incident? no one can tell you what to do in your situation, only you can decide. And for the people who said "once a cheater always a cheater" it's not always true
2006-07-05 06:32:02 · answer #8 · answered by hatchetgirlie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nah, he'd probably cheat even if you were married. Did you ask how long was their relationship? Has he cut the other woman off totally? Why did he do it?
Ultimately the decision is up to you, but if you do choose to marry him, do so AFTER you have forgiven him and you can NEVER bring it up again (even in anger). Afterall you would have married him knowing that he had done it before and should have forgave him prior to making that decision.
2006-07-05 06:33:46 · answer #9 · answered by King H 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Odiously your fiance has no respect for you. He should of never cheated. He does not love you enough to be committed to you and your children. So it would be best if you leave what are you going to do if the other woman says that she is having his baby. This is something to think about. what are you going to teach your children that cheating is OK. I do beleive if you were married he would of cheating anyways
2006-07-05 06:39:11 · answer #10 · answered by beenie 21 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋