can you make me laugh
2006-07-05 06:14:02 · 17 answers · asked by wana know 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Comics & Animation
Ill quote Jack Dee and I still double up when i hear this! (dry sense of humour)
i wish i could die peacefully like my grandfather in his sleep.................and not like the two passengers screaming in his car!!!!! sorry!!
2006-07-05 09:08:07 · answer #1 · answered by irish 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
1: 2 men r in the woods, wen one falls ill. The other one calls the ambulance service for help. "I dunno what to do!!" says the well man. "Well... first make sure that he is dead" says the woman on the other end.
Gunshots ring around the forest.
"yeah... now what?"
2: Man: Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a wigwam and a tipi!
Doctor:The trouble is you're too tense (tents)!
3: David Beckham comes home one day, and finds Posh in bed with ruud van nistelrooy. He instantly pulls out a gun from the draw next to him. "DAVID! NO!" Shouts Posh. "Shut Up Victoria!" He says, "You're next!"
2006-07-05 13:57:24 · answer #2 · answered by raviamruth92 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bud and Jim were a couple of drinking buddies who worked as aircraft mechanics in PITTSBURGH. One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do.
Bud said, "Man, I wish we had something to drink!"
Jim says, "Me too. Y'know, I've heard you can drink jet fuel and get a buzz. You wanna try it?"
So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane hootch and got completely smashed.
The next morning Bud wakes up and is surprised at how
good he feels. In fact he feels GREAT! NO hangover!
NO bad side effects. Nothing!
Then the phone rings. It's Jim.
Jim says, "Hey, how do you feel this morning?"
Bud says, "I feel great. How about you?"
Jim says, "I feel great, too. You don't have a hangover?"
Bud says, "No that jet fuel is great stuff -- no hangover, nothing. We ought to do this more often."
"Yeah, well there's just one thing."
"What's that?"
"Have you farted yet?"
"No "
"Well, DON'T, 'cause I'm in Denver
2006-07-07 11:12:24 · answer #3 · answered by -:¦:-SKY-:¦:- 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two men playing golf. One of them is about to take his final shot to win the game. Just as he does a Hurst passes by. He takes his eye off the ball, lifts his club takes his cap off his head and stands tall and dignified as the Hurst passes. His golf partner remarks at how impressed he is by the gentlemans sign of respect. The first golfer comments well I had been married to her for 26 years!
2006-07-05 13:24:11 · answer #4 · answered by tiggerkb1610 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's worse than a bull in a china shop?
A hedgehog in a condom factory.
My father used to work in a tiddly wink factory, but he didn't like it. It was counter-productive.
When you have fat friends there are no see-saws. Only catapults.
2006-07-05 16:33:27 · answer #5 · answered by Athene1710 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. I know some great jokes.
2006-07-05 15:01:57 · answer #6 · answered by Candy Peach 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
jade, rings jeff upset 'i can't do this puzzle, its really hard'
jeff 'look jade calm down, it can't be that hard, if you still can't do it ring me back 'ok' jade said
an hour goes by jade rings jeff, 'jeff come help me, its to difficult'
'ok i'll be about an hour, i bet when i get there you would have done it'
He gets there after about an hour and a half - jade opens the door - jeff looks over - 'for **** sake jade put the cornflakes away'
2006-07-05 16:17:32 · answer #7 · answered by vicstar 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
2 fish in a tank. One says to the other, "do you know how to drive this thing?"
2006-07-05 13:18:38 · answer #8 · answered by Dazza 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes i know a brilliant one
2006-07-06 14:18:59 · answer #9 · answered by doodlebug 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok heres one.
What do condoms and coffins have in common?
In one yah come, in the other you go..
2006-07-05 13:18:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋