he loves me, he loves me not?

Question

if you were in my shoes, would you think he really loved you?
My fiancee verbally abuses me (tells me i am full of bs, calls me a liar, a cheater, tells me to leave, he doesnt love me, doesnt want me). then he says this is all said in anger when we arguing and he doesnt mean any of it. then tells me that I am his world, his life, he loves me more than I will ever know. I feel so hurt that I could kill myself. He pushes on me, tells me to go to !@#$ and to ^&*( off. I cry all the time. tells me the relationship isnt working then tells me i am his world, he lives for me. He attempted suicide a few months ago and the 1st thing he asked his sister if i had left him. he hurts my feelings all the time. He curses but says he isnt cursing ME, he just says curse words. He tells me that I am constantly wrong and that I take things wrong and let myself feel this way. He says that I wont LET him love me. is this really love?

Answer 1

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LEAVE NOW! He is not only verbally, emotionally and mentally abusive but it sounds like he is also becoming physically abusive. Get out now! Real love does not hurt. I had a friend tell me that the only reason i should ever be hurting this much is if someone close to me died. And that goes for you too. That helped me out a lot because i think about that all the time. If he kills himself or threatens it go to the proper authorities and also get some help from your friends. Please dont stay he will get worse and you could end up hurt or worse.. if you catch my drift. He is doing this because he is a control freak and the longer you stay the more you think its your fault and before you know it everything is worse and if you have kids now or someday he will abuse them too. If you need anything e-mail me ok.
God Bless and please heed these words. Leave today if he wont let you leave wait until he is at work or somewhere and leave

Answer 2

Of course he loves you....HE JUST LOVES ABUSING YOU...and it has just started! Why in the world are you engaged to an insecure, controlling lunatic? Is this how you want your children to be treated...to be beaten into the ground every day verbally, and later, it will turn physical...it always does, for there comes a day when words don't work so well, so fists do the job. RUN, don't walk to the nearest exit. Give the ring back NOW...by mail. Have no more contact with this lunatic,...he will promise ANYTHING to keep you under his control..don't be a fool, Believe NOTHING he says, for he will lie until the crows come home to keep control. IF you go through with this lunacy, PLEASE do not write here asking, "what should I do about...." next month or next year. You have been warned, I have told you the nasty truth, and YOU KNOW IT. Oh, he will tell you that you are killing him, etc. Ignore it. BUT, BEWARE! Men like this become stalkers, and are VERY dangerous when their game is up. Be prepared to take out restraining orders, and watch your back..he is NOT above killing you and himself when he cannot get his way. YOU are in deep trouble right now, and you don't know it! Good luck

Answer 3

No, it's not love, you are in an emotionaly abusive relationship.
Threats of suicide are meand of manipulation and he is treating you to stay or else...this is ABUSE and is not normal at all, this is very dangerous behavious and you should NOT feel guilty to walk away or responsible for his well being, as he is an adult and as long as he can continue on tretaing you with suicide, you will continue stayinmg even though you are miserable.
He definetly have some psicological issues and you are by no means responsabile for this full grown adult. If he needs therapy or counseling, let his family take care of that. This is abuse and the one suffering is you and what he does are means to get your attention and blackmail you into staying in such a miserable and ebusive relationship.
Next time he tells you to leave, do that. Leave and don;t let him talk you back into staying. Change your numbers and go on vacation, if he stalks you get a restraining order agains him.

He is not the victim honey, YOU ARE. Be careful and get out of this relationship now!

Answer 4

First thing, That is not love. If he abuses you then he dont love you or he has a problem and needs to see a doctor. You should leave this guy b/c it will only get worse. You need to find someone that makes you feel good inside and out. Someone that will respect you for you and treat you like a lady. If he says these thing all the time then he may really mean them at the time then after he cools down he changes his mind about it all. Just get out before he really hurts you. This is not love at all. I dont understand why some people put up with this ****......Move on

Answer 5

geeze i didnt have to read but a couple of lines of your question before answering this..RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN GET AWAY FROM HIM AND DEFINATELY DO NOT MARRY THIS MAN! He is a menal/physical abuser..he is a control freak with severe mental issues, if you marry him expect it only to get worse cause once your married in his mind he has you trapped and he will treat you like crap, he will control what you do , how you do it, he will treat you any which way he wants, he'll mentally make you think no one will ever want you, that your dirt beneath his feet, he will tear u apart emotionally to the point that you think your worthless.. BEEN THERE DONE THAT.. best thing u can do is get out of this relationship he's obviously not even mature enough to have a relationship let alone a marriage.. DONT BE STUPID.. the suicide stuff is only his attempt of playing with your head and your heart.. people that really want to committ suicide make sure theres no coming back from it.... Dont play into his mental games.. and thats exactly what he's doing to u.. I CAN GUARANTEE if you marry him its going to get 100 times worse..
Please take the words of advice from someone thats already been down this road and escaped .. it took me standing on the edge of a cliff thinking if i just took that last step everything would all be over, the pain physically and mentally , i was literally rittled with depression and insanity..from all the abuse.. it was the thoughts of my kids that gave me the strength to leave him and step away from the cliffs edge...U have a clean get away right now.. dont get urself trapped into this scenerio.. leave while u can before he does any more damage to you ..

Answer 6

this guy is abusive and you should not marry him and leave him for good. i mean it and this is the signs .

You may be in an abusive relationship if he or she:
Is jealous or possessive toward you.
(Jealousy is the primary symptom of abusive relationships; it is also a core component of Sexual Addictions and Love Addiction.)
Tries to control you by being very bossy or demanding.
Tries to isolate you by demanding you cut off social contacts and friendships.
Is violent and / or loses his or her temper quickly.
Pressures you sexually, demands sexual activities you are not comfortable with.
Abuses drugs or alcohol.
Claims you are responsible for his or her emotional state. (This is a core diagnostic criteria for Codependency.)
Blames you when he or she mistreats you.
Has a history of bad relationships.
Your family and friends have warned you about the person or told you that they are concerned for your safety or emotional well being.
You frequently worry about how he or she will react to things you say or do.
Makes "jokes" that shame, humiliate, demean or embarrass you, weather privately or around family and friends.
Your partner grew up witnessing an abusive parental relationship, and/or was abused as a child.
Your partner "rages" when they feel hurt, shame, fear or loss of control.
Both parties in abusive relationships may develop or progress in drug or alcohol dependence in a (dysfunctional) attempt to cope with the pain.
You leave and then return to your partner repeatedly, against the advice of your friends, family and loved ones.
You have trouble ending the relationship, even though you know inside it's the right thing to do.

Does the person you love...
• constantly keep track of your time?

• act jealous and possessive?

• accuse you of being unfaithful or flirting?

• discourage your relationships with friends and family?

• prevent or discourage you from working, interacting with friends or attending school?

• constantly criticize or belittle you?

• control all finances and force you to account for what you spend? (Reasonable cooperative budgeting excepted.)

• humiliate you in front of others? (Including "jokes" at your expense.)

• destroy or take your personal property or sentimental items?

• have affairs?

• threaten to hurt you, your children or pets? Threaten to use a weapon?

• push, hit, slap, punch, kick, or bite you or your children?

• force you to have sex against your will, or demand sexual acts you are uncomfortable with?

Answer 7

No guy is worth suicide over!!!! Your relationship sucks - you need to move on and find someone who will care and love you truly. Why let him torture you like that - just be brave and make your move - OUT THE DOOR!!! There are so many men out there - finding the right one is the key. Good Luck

Answer 8

you are so caught. so, so caught because i hate to say it but this guy of yours is just ... mental. but can i tell you one thing: don't suffer because you pity him. sweetie, you deserve better, you honestly do. maybe he honestly does love you but do you really wanna be around someone who curses at you and calls you names? that's not good. let me go on the cliche on this- be his friend and watch after him; see how he's doing but cannot just let this guy hang on your arm letting your life pass you by. don't leave this guy behind because honestly, you just may be the reason he's living, be there like an older sister, have that sort of love. but let your other kind of love, the kind you give to a husband, be for someone else.
i'll pray for you, hokay? xD

Answer 9

You are going to marry this guy? If you do, you will be in an abusive marriage, instead of merely an abusive relationship.

I'm a guy. Any man who hits a woman is not a man.

Get out. Now!

Answer 10

he doesn't love you, heck from what you are saying he doesn't even love himself so how can he love you? And the fact that you are taking this abuse leads me to believe that you need to seek some help to understand that this is not how a relationship is suppose to be, you should be enjoying each other not destroying each other