Before i use to enjoy me partner before i get married and immediately i got married and i was pregnant i discovered that i dont have a romantic/sexy life/character like i use to have. even if my husband should touch me it will be as if his hand is thorn in my flesh and it has pushed my husband not to touch me like before again. what do i do to regain my sexy/romantic life back?
2006-07-05 04:56:24 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I think the first step is putting what you just said behind you...don't think about it too hard and don't try to hard. You know that its possible to be that sexy romantic beast you were talking about...the only thing that has changed is you have yourself a little family. I'm not a professional in this matter but I think your jinxing yourself...you've put on this image of being unromantic, unsexxy...but that girl is still there...you just need to throw it aside...enjoy the fruits you've created and continue to live. I know that sounds far more simple then it is...but its all in your head hun...I think you just need to accept where life has taken you...seek out the positive things and run with it. Your a lucky gal...I would give anything to have a child and a loving companion...and you have it...so please don't take for granted all that you have...just enjoy it.
2006-07-05 05:06:03 · answer #1 · answered by lanceh13 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to know two things:
1 - This is VERY TYPICAL BEHAVIOR for new moms -- you're not crazy.
2 - This is TEMPORARY -- you WILL get over it.
It's entirely common for new moms to feel that they have just plain been TOUCHED too much. You've got this tiny little thing that depends on you 100% for its life, and it requires constant physical contact -- feeding, changing, carrying, rocking to sleep, you name it. It gets to where you can't STAND being TOUCHED any more, almost as if you've got a sunburn.
With each of our three kids, my wife reached this point shortly after the birth. Obviously, since we have three kids, she DID get over it. :-)
You need to tell your husband a couple of things -- heck, bring him over to the computer and I'll tell him:
Hey, nice to meet you, and congratulations on the new baby! Listen... I know it's frustrating to go through this, but your wife still loves you and she WILL get past this stage, it's a COMPLETELY natural part of being a new mom, and it doesn't last forever. So don't take it personally -- it's not about you, and she really misses the way you used to be together.
You can do two things to help her get that way again:
1 - Be sure to take your turns with the baby, especially in the middle of the night. Getting more than two hours of sleep at a time will help your wife feel more like a human being and less like a two-legged dairy cow. And cuddling your babies when they're cute and little will help you not want to kill them when they're 15 -- trust me on that...
2 - Be patient. Your wife WILL get over her need to avoid contact, and when she does, the nicer you are now, the more she will appreciate it later. And the sooner you'll get there, too; relieving her of some of the constant physical contact required by the baby will free up some of her emotional reserve to give some physical contact to you. And believe me, rediscovering your wife as she comes alive to you again is one of the best parts of being a parent.
We eventually made a sort of a joke out of it; I'd ask how many Good Husband Points I was earning by the various things I'd be taking care of, and she'd tell me she hadn't forgotten how I liked to be appreciated. And eventually, she got past it.
(...How long did it last? I've been trying to remember. It DID get easier with the second and third because we expected it and had our coping strategies in place. It seems that the time during which she was SO uncomfortable lasted a couple of months with the first baby and only a couple of weeks with the last one.)
Now, back to new mom: once you DO get to the point where your husband's touch is pleasant once more, invest in a babysitter, even for a few hours. If either of you have parents nearby, see if Grandma can watch the baby while you and your husband can have a romantic evening out. And if you leave the baby at Grandma's house, you can have that romantic evening at home...
2006-07-05 05:52:04 · answer #2 · answered by Scott F 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is your partner giving you a hand around the house with the chores? Is he taking his responsibilities seriously? Is he helping with the new baby? If not its very hard to be romantic or think sexily about a lazy *** lump.
2006-07-05 05:19:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Go and see your doctor, you sound depressed and tired.
I know this feeling but it does go away, but takes time after the birth. If your husband loves you, he will understand, if not take him to "Relate" counsellor and get help from them. They are very good. Also ask your midwife if she can help. The help is out there, but you have to ask for it! Good luck and hope your marriage stays strong for you and your family!
2006-07-05 05:11:57 · answer #4 · answered by Tentative1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
properly, there turned right into a time the position i did not remember on a God. not in the kind that church homes & temples coach anyhow. That reported, I actually have come to words with my own beliefs that there's a significant rigidity, a larger means... call him/her what you'll. i'm not non secular, yet I do remember on God.
2016-11-01 06:01:42 · answer #5 · answered by garion 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give it time! Are you still in love with your partner? Sounds like you need to seek some professional help.
2006-07-05 05:05:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋