In the beginning,my husband and me were good friends..we were like 2best buddy..making pranks...tell each other secrets..nana..But jow i feel he is changing..Yesterday in an argument i told him that i thought that he was my best friend..It was like a sword his words,..he told me that why don't i find best friends at work..he told me that i'm a crazy lady and that i should feel lucky he married me..I feel sometimes..every words of his was so hurting..i feel day by day sometimes..i have no integrity and self esteem...that i'm nothing..I no more want to be dependent on anything towards him..i want to show him that i'm more and much better from what he think that i am..yesterday night i practically sleep..normally we go together to work..today..i walked 45mins this morning to go get the train..we are not speaking to each other..and for the time being i don't feel like even do an effrot cause i feel hurt and can't stop crying out..i'm away from my family.please advice me..thx
2006-07-05 04:46:13 · 12 answers · asked by Cutelara 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i'm sorry you feel this way and you have every right to feel hurt... i know exactly how you feel. I believe that a husband should be your best friend...you two are partners for life... and him saying cant you find friends at work tells me that maybe he doesnt have the same interests as you. explain to him why he is your best friend and that you tell him things you would tell noone other and explain that is what intimacy, not just sexually, is in a marriage. i hope this helps. i'm sorry you are crying..hugs to you.
2006-07-05 04:53:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In the real world this is what happens when the honeymoon is over. Reality sucks and the sooner you realize this the better off you will be. The two smallest books in the world are; "Everything Men Know About Women" and "Everything Women Know About Men". Meet and develop a female friend or two at work so you can plot against men together. Make yourself mysterious and put yourself on a higher plane than your husband. Look sexy, smell good, smile so he wonders what you are up to, talk to friends on the phone, drive him nuts and life will go on.
2006-07-17 10:31:22 · answer #2 · answered by acmeraven 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can imagine how you feel. I've never been through it but i can imagine how it must feel for you. Yes a husband can be your best friend. My husband is mine. And over time in a lot of marriages people do tend to change but that is no excuse for your husband (who is suppose to love you) to talk are treat you in that manner. To me he was very disrespectful to you and i would have called him on it. If your feelings are hurt i wouldn't hold that inside i'd let it be known. A person who truly loves you will listen to your plea and apologize and try harder to never disrespect you in that way. He sounds like an *** and i'm sorry for saying that about the man you married but i dont believe in lying to people. Once a person starts talking and treating you disrespectfully after a time those words will start to settle down into the core of you leaving you with low self esteem and little to no self worth. You should never allow a person no matter who it is take your self worth and self esteem away from you. Abuse of anykind is unacceptable and perhaps he said those things completely out of spite. An adult should know better than to be quick to wrath when it comes to people they love. Perhaps he has forgotten who you are. Perhaps you have too, for that matter. If i were you instead of ignoring the problem hoping it will go away i'd deal with it get it out in the open. Let it be known that you hurt me and i wont stand for it. You gotta build up your strength it's okay to cry but becafeul not to get lost in the pity party you threw for yourself. Let him see your stronger than that better than that. Don't let him or anyone else break you. If you don't believe in yourself neither will anyone else.
2006-07-14 11:55:08 · answer #3 · answered by Sxyblkdiva 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, first, stop crying. You cannot tie your own your happiness to your husband. Your emotions are not at his whim. You have to be your own person so he can have someone to love. If you are so intertwined with him, he may feel suffocated. While that was fine during the infatuation phase of your relationship, it is not okay now. He can still be your best friend, but not your only friend. Don't overreact, but you should sit down and talk with him about how his words made you feel. Ask him what his intentions were by saying that to you. You may be surprised by what he actually meant by it.
2006-07-05 11:56:18 · answer #4 · answered by bionut63 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, a husband can be your best friend. Apparently yours is not anymore. Do not let him treat u that way. He is not being very nice, u don't have to be either. Be true to yourself. Smile, laugh, do your own thing, do not let him hurt u. Be strong, ignore him, wait on yourself, not on him. Let him see u having a good time, IN the end he should come to u for forgiveness or to suck up. Try not to let anyone bring u down.
2006-07-05 12:01:38 · answer #5 · answered by angelalovin2003 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion his response to your "best friends" comment was very insensitive, are other things going on with him? Stress at work? Family or Friends? He may be dealing with something that you are unaware of. Otherwise, if this is how he has always been, then unfortunately it may not change. If he normally is understanding and caring, try finding out what may be bothering him, to cause such a abnormal reaction out of him.
2006-07-05 11:59:36 · answer #6 · answered by Lovinlife 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's cold hun..... you know, a husband should be your best friend because you should be able to tell him anything because he's the closest one to you. You're not crazy and trust me, work is the worst place to have best friends because people talk too much sometimes. Tell him why you feel he's your best friend. Make him understand.
2006-07-17 17:12:06 · answer #7 · answered by hot chocolate 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i understand how hurt you must feel. I go thru this bs with my husband from time to time. I get the impression that men crack when they feel they are responsible for their wives emotional security. like knowing that you want him to be everything for you may make him feel pressured. i usually feel like my husband doesnt understand me, my dreams or passions, that we are disconnected, like he's happy if i never spoke about anything "deep". Try as we might to make best friends out of our husbands, maybe they werent meant to be. Its a very empty feeling, i know. maybe you two should talk it out after things have settled. i wish you luck! ;)
2006-07-05 12:33:22 · answer #8 · answered by okiedokey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i had written a long response, but the comuter farted and i lost it. however, it looks like these guys covered it. if you need an objective friend, please mail me. also, i had a friend who had a very unappreciative husband, she went out into her community and started volunteering, joined clubs, and got a makeover. after realizing that his wife didnt believe she was useless, and had found her own self worth, he was afraid of loosing her and changed a few things. i like meetup.com i was able to find a stay at home moms group in my area, and i live in the middle of nowhere. hope you find yourself. have a lovely day.
2006-07-05 12:27:21 · answer #9 · answered by sslowbliss 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are good and bad times in marriages.Probably this is your bad time in this relation But dont forget after bad there is always good. Dont share things with him for sometime but still make him feel important
2006-07-15 04:13:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋