baby can't fall asleep on his own?

Question

my ten month old has never really fallen asleep on his own he always wants someone to hold him until he falls asleep. i know its because he's so used to it, but i think he needs to learn to fall asleep by himselp without screaming until somebody picks him up.i've tried letting him cry for a few minutes, but he gets himself so worked up that he throws up after only being in there 2 or 3 minutes of being in there by himself. i have also tried going to the crib and reassuring him that he is okay without picking him up, but that doesn't work either. please help

Answer 1

This subject is kind of "contreversial" and many people feel differently about this. It depends on what you believe in and what you are willing to do. I co-slept with both of my kids and I nursed on demand. I don't believe in letting them "cry it out". I felt like I needed to give them whatever they needed even if that meant sacrificing my own sleep for theirs. They are now 2 & 1/2 and 1 and both sleep in their own rooms in their own beds and are well adjusted and happy. We had no trouble changing them into their own rooms.

Answer 2

You need to buy the book "On Becoming Baby Wise". It is the best way to get your baby to learn to sleep on his own. It's tough at this point in his life, he's so used to the way you've been doing it. Next time start earlier. But for now, you need to start a routine at night. When he starts getting tired you need to pick up the toys that are out, and then go to his room, read a story, give him a bath, then a massage (use Johnson's night time bath and lotion, it will help calm him down) and sing a song to him. Rock him in your arms while you sing, tell him you love him and lay him down in his bed. I would have a sound machine in his room too. That will help him feel like he's not alone. That seems to be his problem. He needs someone there to fall asleep. You can get one at Linens-n-Things. Here's the link. Wait 5 minutes of crying, then go in and calm him down. Then wait 10 minutes and do the same thing. You'll have to let him cry it out until he learns. I know it's tough, but if you don't do it now, he'll need you to rock him until he's 6 years old. That's how long he'll keep this pattern unless you break him of it now. He won't remember it at 10 months, but he will at 2 or 3. Good Luck, buy that book. I swear by it.

Answer 3

If anything is for sure its that you are a good mother. Most women just give in and stop trying. My two year old used to cry and make himself vomit around his first birthday. Is there another parent? What finally worked for me was when I got remarried his step daddy and I would all go to his room together and we would read or just tell stories until baby got tired. Then we would lay him in between us on a pallet on the floor, moving him to his crib once he was asleep. A couple weeks of that and we were able to put him is the crib before he was totally asleep. Now that he's in a toddler bed he grabs his favorite pillow and leads me to his room to tuck him in without me having to make him do it. Hope this works for you too.

Answer 4

The throwing up really is distressing to you I'm sure. I would have to say that you are better off breaking him of this habit now though. I'm guessing that you are feeding him, then rocking him to sleep. I reccomend feeding him as soon as he wakes up, then play time then nap time. That should cut down on what is in his belly to throw up. Then you need to wait until he is drowsy but not asleep and put him to bed. Some babies like a little soft music, some absolute quiet. But either way do not go back in and pick him up again until nap time is over. You can peek in to make sure he is ok - but I'd wait at least 20 min. If he's thrown up clean him up as quickly and quietly as possible and put him back down.
It will take him about 3 days to get the hang of it but then you will have no more problems.

Answer 5

You answered you own question. You have trained him to fall asleep by being held and now if you don't want to do that anymore you are going to have to untrain him. That means putting him down and letting him cry. I would stay in the room where he can't see you so that if he throws up you can clean him right away, but put him back down again without holding him. Eventually he will fall asleep. When he understands that he isn't going to be held every time he will learn to soothe himself and fall asleep.

Answer 6

Parents always fell in the problem when new born couldn't sleep, so they sleep with them from then on.

New born can't sleep well because of insecurity and the passage way of nose are not clear. They will get used to it after 6 months or so. As for 10 months old, that is a spoil part of parents. If you are sleeping with the babies and never let them sleep alone. They will depend on your smell, that gives them sense of security.

Well, you have to let go for a couple of days or a week and see how it goes. They may cry, let them.. Once they are tired, they will fall asleep.

It is tough in the beginning, but you will get over with it.

Answer 7

Have you tried watching Supernanny. She has this process of making your kids stay in bed and fall asleep by themselves. If I remember right, you sit right next to their crib, but you don't talk to them or touch them until they fall asleep, then you move away a few feet every night until you're out the door and the baby is asleep by themselves. I'm not sure how effective it is. I just had to let my daughter cry for about four nights in a row. It's hard to do, but eventually it'll work out. If you don't, then the child learns that they can control their parents by crying.

Hope this helps.

Answer 8

Falling asleep on their own is something that is different for every baby. It is normal for your ten month old to be this way, mine is as well. I still sleep with my daughter and it works out incredibly well - I'm respecting her needs by staying close to her and helping her to fall asleep, and she's respecting my needs of keeping the peace and getting a good night's rest!

If you used to sleep with him and want him out of your bed, try taking one of the sides off the crib and pushing it up against your bed. This way, he is still close to you, but he is in his own space, and you have your space as well. This has worked well for many mothers I know, to help get their babies out of their beds. And it's great because it doesn't result in letting the baby cry or leaving the baby totally alone. Gradually, after he has become used to sleeping in the crib (and seeing the crib as a happy sleep place, instead of a place where mommy leaves me to cry) you can move the crib away from your bed.

Another idea is to jump right to a toddler bed with rails on the side - this way you can still lay down with him and help him fall asleep and then slip away without disturbing him.
hope that helps

Answer 9

Don't worry- I promise you can work him out of it. It took my daughter a while to get to the point where she could go to sleep on her own (8-10 months, I believe.) A friend gave us a copy of this book- Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. We followed a method in there that worked like a charm! It took about 4 nights and she was sleeping on her own. It was hard to let her cry- but it really does work. We also purchased the Fisher Price bluebirds that attach to the side of her bed and that helped, as well. She will be two in August and she still loves those birds! Good luck to you- try the book, it really is helpful.

Answer 10

say i love you, put baby down, leave the room and let him cry; if he pukes, clean up the puke & start over again. If you talk to him& pick him up after he screams like this, you're teaching him that if he screams long enough, gets mad enough and throws a big enough fit, you'll give in- i.e., you're reinforcing the behavior that you DON'T want. It may take a few nights and a lot of tears (yours as well as his) but this will work. BOTTOM LINE: Better he should learn now that tantrums don't work, because the bigger the kid, the bigger the tantrum!

Answer 11

I have a 10month old also and when she was first born I was watching that show supernanny.. she said to NEVER put a baby in the crib unless it is time to sleep, that way they associate the crib with sleep only and that is where they will want to be when they are tired.. in their "comfort zone" so I did this and my daughter goes to sleep the minute I put her down and never cries. On the flip side when we are not home and she is tired she wont go to sleep... I dont know if its too late to try this technique but it cant hurt.... I ended up buying the supernanny book and its a great investment! you should check it out.