Relationionship question?

Question

My eight year old son's father is in jail. He has called collect 3 times this year. He only calls collect when he runs out of money. He called on Saturday when our son was not at home. I usually don't answer the phone when my son is not there because it really is a wasted phone call if he can't speak with his son. My mate answered the phone and gave it to me. Once I accepted the call and told him our son was not at home he asked a few other questions and I answered and then we hung up. Well, when I got off the phone my mate went off and said why didn't I tell him not to call collect. I told her that I would pay for his calls, since he was only calling to talk with his son and he does usually pay. Well she called me all types of names and it really turned into a big fight. She left and I found out that she was already seeing someone else. I feel so hurt. Why would she want me to be mean to my son's father and she already had plans to carry on a relationship with someone else?

Answer 1

I think she wanted to make you feel like you were doing something wrong like letting your son's father call collect and you having to pay for the calls.... when she was the person doing something wrong by seeing someone behind your back!

Answer 2

She was looking for a way out...and when he called she figured that was it. She could use the call as a way to fight and have an excuse to leave. She knew when she answered the phone what would happen...you weren't out of line by speaking with him..afterall....you do have a child together. It was very childish the way she handled it. I know it hurts now.....but you did nothing wrong. You did what adults do..well what most adults would do. When two people cant be together, but they have a child, its so much easier when they get along or at least be civil to each other. The child accepts the seperation so much better if there isn't fighting. You may not feel it right now....but you are better off. This person that you trusted, betrayed you and was seeing someone else. Be strong..and be proud of who you are. Good luck.

Answer 3

Oh my, I am so sorry, I going through something similar with a cheating mate. This is a tough one, whenever your feelings are involved you feel torn, you have to do some major soul searching. Do you want your mate back? If not, then problem solved she's moved on, she found her way out, a stupid fight so that her conscience would be clear if she left. But if you want her back, then she needs to understand that bond between a father and his child. Regardless of our day to day situations and challenges every child deserves both parents. She should understand that.
He only calls three times a year, right, so let him talk to his son, the money part............that's another issue, he shouldn't be asking you for money. He should be trying to establish some type of lasting relationship with his child.
I know that you've heard it over and over again, the pain will go away and you will feel better, to get over her and move on. But that's a hard thing to do when you are dealing with matters of the heart. I say if you want her back you are going to have to forgive her and forgiveness means that you can't continue to bring this particular infidelity to the front.

Do some soul searching...............oh yeah, crying helps too, I think of it as a way to cleanse your soul. I cry once a week to get it all out of the way.....
Good Luck

Answer 4

Picking a fight with you over your sons father was just her way of getting out of the relationship don't feel bad it happens all the time find someone else that can handle the fact that you have a son with a man and that yes you do let that man call and talk to your son there is one out there just look.

Answer 5

sounds like she was looking for a way out and that is just the reason she gave. When you have kids with someone you will always have to talk to them no matter where they are. Sound like you will be better with out her! I know that hurts but if she is not thinking about your son then that is someone you don't need, and if she was already with someone else your son also does not need that. I know right now it hurts but you will find the right person that loves you and your son and is ok with your ex calling to talk to your son ... you have to put your child 1st!!!! Good luck

Answer 6

Why waste your time, over your child father. If he just want money and don't talk to the kid. Just let the phone ring, better yet get caller id. Then have your phone company put a block on your phone.
she had no right to worry about something. When she playing around on you. You need to cut loose, what drags you down.

Answer 7

Maybe she just used that as an excuse to start a big fight so she can go off with the other person. She took the easy way out.

Answer 8

she needed an excuse to leave you instead of just say " oh by the way, im leaving you for someone else"
she wanted to fight with you and needed to feel like she had a "ligit" reason for leaving you and in doing so hoping that you wouldnt find out about her cheating on you.
i hope you dont take her back. once a cheater, always a cheater.

good luck.

Answer 9

It sounds like she is having some problems, and that it doesn't have anything to do with you, or your son, or his father. I would try to calmly speak with her about what is wrong. She shouldn't have anything to say about your son's father calling. That's not her place. I would just talk with her as it sounds like she is not happy with herself.

Answer 10

sounds like it is not so much about your son's father as it is about her questioning your relationship and having another relationship at the same time...cut her loose