I have cheated on my boi...how do i convince him i wont do it again??

Question

I cheated last year....i have not and will not do it again....yet i cant convince him and he still wont trust me.

Answer 1

You have broken a trust that was given to you. How do you repair such a trust. Well first don't expect anything to happen over night. You will have to work on this everyday until he forgives you. Just know he probably will never forget.

I would suggest talking to him and telling him your feelings. Commit yourself to him and ask him if there is anything you can do to help build back that trust you destroyed. Take full blame and stand up like a man.

If this guy gives you a second chance, find ways to show him you are committed to him. Ask yourself first how did you meet this trick. If you met him in a bar, don't go to another bar without your lover. If you met him online, stay off the internet. Actions speak loader than words. Take these actions on your own, don't have him ask you to do it. He shouldn't have to. Then tell him and show him your action. Show him you changed the routine that caused you to cheat in the first place.

If you had unsafe sex, go get tested and show him this too. Help him see you mean your words, by your actions. Next center yourself around your guy and make him your world.

As I stated before this is going to take a lot of time. It will take months if not years to reverse the damage you caused here. You have to live with this, and you have to make it right. Good Luck

Answer 2

umm...it's actually been studied that if a person cheats once, they will most likely do it again. Maybe not with the same person, but it's within your capacity, because your conscience and morals are kinda screwed up. I mean you chose to take your clothes off and have sex with another person that was outside of your intimate relationship, KNOWING that you were in a committed relationship, you CHOSE not to listen to that little nagging voice in your head telling you it was wrong. If you have the capacity to not listen to your conscience, then you have the capacity to cheat again. I wouldn't trust you, or take you back, but that's just my opinion. ESPECIALLY if the other person was good to you and gave you no reason to cheat (not that I think there's ANY reason to cheat anyway)

Answer 3

I am in no way in any position to pass judgement on you as I too have cheated in the past. My circumstances were probably a little different than yours but this doesn't make it right either way. Time is a healer. And you must be willing to stick with this relationship regardless of how frustrating it gets sometimes or however much distance it seems there may be between you both. If you are sincerely committed to this man and you love him beyond anything then you CAN make this work. I don't know the level of your commitment but there ARE therapists who counsel same sex couples. If you have any thoughts of spending the remainder of your life with this man then please consider counseling. It will help if both parties want to make this work!!! Hugs to you both!!!!

Answer 4

That's a good question. How do you win back broken trust. How can you prove you can be trusted again. Maybe you deserve one more chance, just one. It also depends on your partner's capacity to forgive. The only real convincing would be that you stay true to that person. Stray again, you probably can't be trusted. I wouldn't.

Answer 5

And do you honestly expect things to go back to the way they were? They probably won't, you hurt him badly.

The memory won't disappear but time might lessen the pain of it. He may never trust you quite as much as he did before he found out about your having cheated on him, get used to it.

Answer 6

darling, begging wont get you anywhere this time.....
you've gotta stop it immediately and show your boi that you are sorry via your actions.
even if he doesn't want you around or anything, just stick around - close. and be there when needed and when he is not that angry, try talking to him about it.....
he might be more receptive then. whatever you do, NEVER CHEAT ON HIM AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!
you've done enough damage already, and this will take time to gain back his trust and confidence..... you'll have to do this, slowly but surely......
one day, he will melt and accept you back into his arms again......

good luck sweetie

Answer 7

You need to reaffrim your trust in him, but it's not easy becuase even though you did it a year ago. Regaining someone's trust will take longer. But you need to just let him know that he is the only one for you and that you are truly sorry for hurting him.

Answer 8

I wouldn't trust you, either. My ex did that too. Said he'd never do it again. I reluctantly welcomed him home....and BAM....a year later he was at it.

Only your actions can convince him...but, unfortunately the best detector of future behavior is past behavior.

...an interesting quote I heard on the TV yesterday.....

"Sure, I cheated on my man. I did it again and again, too. If he's stupid enough to forgive me, I'm DAMN sure gonna do it again'.

Answer 9

Unfortunate past sometimes in most cases predict future - i know this first hand and i regret it, my lame excuse was "I didn't mean for it to happened it just did." Trust is very hard to regain - possible but its something that can happen over time.

Answer 10

after cheating a relationship is dead, better to move on and try to be faithful the next time, learn from this and believe me your relationship will never be the same, you are just extending the agonizing period and eventually is going to end anyways. move on and learn not to be a ****