well. the problem is I know this guy for like a month now. the first time I sow him I felt in love with him. he wants to marry me but my parents need time to know the guy more. even do I need to know him more. so my parents ask him to wait like a month or two to get ready fo the wedding then we can get marrid. he said no.
I feld so bad becouse I love this guy but I just cant get it why he dosent wanna wait. two month or whatever time will take. he said he loves me but if he do he have to do whatever it takes . for me. my parents didint ask him from enything hard. he said we need to go to the court first to marrifd then we can do the wedding letter. I said ok. but I just dont get it why hes want evrything to be fast. and my father didint agree he said. in 15 days I need more time I cant just give u my dougther in 15 days. also he dosent have peapers for the USA. means he eligal in here. my mom said he dosent love u he wants green card. if thats right there a lot of americans.
2006-07-05 04:08:54 · 19 answers · asked by heregoagain_1 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
and olso. hes trying to make me hates my parents. becouse they know I love him and they dont want me to marry him right now. I told him that I help my parents with rent and other think. he said no u soudint ur parent are useing u. and they just want u to be down like them. I dont know whats wrong with is guy. I kno whes mom devorced his father. when he was 8 and he grow up in problem s all life . he hats hef father. but he love his mother.enything she said to him. he say okay. I dont know. by th eway Iam 20 and he is 33. but I love him. I dont know what to do . I know my parents love me they just want me to be happy . I am tired talking to him. he was telling me to move out of my parents house and live in my own thet we can marrid the way we want. dont know what to. AN d if he say something he change the next day. I dont know. what to do. please enybady who can tell me or advice me please. thank u to everybady.
2006-07-05 04:09:08 · update #1
If he truly loved you then he would be willing to wait as long as it took for both you and your parents to be accepting of the marriage. The fact that he isn't a US citizen also indicates why he may be rushing you in order to obtain his temporary citizenship. You may feel the love for him that you say you do but in my opinion it doesn't sound to me like he respects your love or feels the same love for you. He's disrespecting you and your parents and that can only lead to trouble in a relationship.
2006-07-05 04:15:14 · answer #1 · answered by fun_guy_otown 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry sweetie, but I have to say that I agree with your parents. He might have feelings for you, but look at all the signs... He needs a green card, and he wants to turn you away from people who love you the most and want to see you happy. Ask yourself this question... If your parents really thought his love for you was real, do you honestly think they would keep you away from him? It's only been a month and the only reason that he hasn't moved on to some other chick is because then he would have to start all over and he feels as though he may be wearing you down to the point of no return. You marry him, he gets the green card, he divorces you and you were really in love, and he had an agenda... You're heart broken and he's fine and dandy.
2006-07-05 04:19:33 · answer #2 · answered by leesha s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
RUN RUN RUN Sounds like this guy wants you for one thing A GREEN CARD. The age difference is bigger than you think and your lack of experience puts you at risk for being manipulated and used. Anyone who pushes that much this soon, wants something from you. IF he won't wait, then he is NOT worth catching.
As you can see I agree with your Mother. I think what you are feeling is important but if a person truly loves you, that man knows that waiting will not make a difference. In this case, waiting means he will be deported and that is NO reason to get married. Don't be his savior. Be the smart person in this relationship.
The moment you mentioned "court" RED FLAGS were waving. Tell him to get his green card and then come propose. Tell him to have a sold job and a place where the two of you can live. Tell him you are not waiting 30 days, you are waiting 6 months. I bet he will run to the next female who will give him what he wants!
And if this man says your family hates him, etc., then I would add that to my RUN list. As you may see now, but definitely will see in a few years, family is very important. A person who does not want your family involved now will definitely NOT want them involved down the road.
Think lady with your mind and not your heart! Get of of this potentially dangerous relationship before you regret more than losing someone you love!
2006-07-05 04:24:34 · answer #3 · answered by banananose_89117 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Calm down. Step back & look at things from a strangers point of view. A girl not really knowing a guy 13 yrs older than her, wanting to rush her into marriage probably because he's not legal & wanting her to hate her parents. THINK THIS THROUGH!!!!
You are your parents little baby girl. Thier job is to protect you. They have seen things like this before & KNOW that this would not be a good situation for thier baby in the future.
I was in a situation like this one also. If this grown man really loved YOU, he would be willing to wait until you are comfortable & your parents are comfortable. He would be looking to the future & wanting to have peace with his womans family, which would be best for all of you.
There is surly somthing up with this guy that's not right. Does he treat you the way you WANT to be treated? He should be willing to give his life for you.
2006-07-05 04:22:18 · answer #4 · answered by Jaime L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all don't ever let any one take you away from your family second if its true that you love this guy and he loves you then he can wait you just got together for all u know hes a terrorist tell him you don't want to make a mistake and that you need time before making a life changing decision if he still says no then its true that he just wants a green card people like that are dangerous so be careful on how you approach him and break it off befor your in to deep
2006-07-05 04:18:56 · answer #5 · answered by ACE 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he loved you he would Waite the few months to marry you. If you marry him, you will regret it for the rest of your life. He is looking for an easy way to get into the U.S. He is a very domineering person, and you don't want a husband like that, I promise!!! RUN AWAY FROM HIM!!! Listen to your parents. You know they love you. This guy is bad news!!!
2006-07-05 04:15:14 · answer #6 · answered by whatdoiknow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Run as fast as you can away from this guy! Do NOT marry him, do NOT date him, do NOT see him. He is manipulating, using, and pressuring you in to a situation that will only benefit him. This guy gives me the creeps and I haven't even met him! In addition, I question anyones ability to fall so in love with someone in a month that they can make a decision that will alter the rest of thier life.
2006-07-05 04:16:15 · answer #7 · answered by Lilly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he just wants you for the green card! DO NOT MARRY THIS LOSER! anyone that cant wait a month or two is not worth marrying. besides, ITS YOUR WEDDING! ITS YOUR SPECIAL DAY! HAVE IT THE WAY YOU WANT IT, NOT WHAT SOME JERK OF A GUY WANTS! and there are a lot of american boys that are willing to wait months or years for a good girl to marry. dump this creep.
good luck.
2006-07-05 04:17:33 · answer #8 · answered by ziggunerin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't marry him
he should wait if he really likes you more than the U.S. green card
tell him to wait and if he doesn't that means that he's not marrying you because he like you but because he wants the papers
Be careful because he might divorce you after he gets the papers
a lot of people i know did that, you should listen to your parents, tell him to wait
2006-07-05 04:15:29 · answer #9 · answered by freetimerman 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't love him you're just infatuated, and anyone trying to cut you off from your friends and family is trying to control you. You'll be miserable if you stay with this guy. Your enfatuation will wane, don't do anything permanent until you know him better and, take the advice of your parents
2006-07-05 04:13:56 · answer #10 · answered by hazbeenwelshman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋