What is the funniest thing you have ever seen or heard?

Question

Best one will get 10 points!

Answer 1

Peter Crouch trying to play football.

Answer 2

The Funniest Thing I Have evern Seen is The Life Of Mine and Heard Is The World Outside...

Answer 3

I work in a retail store where the whole front of the store is windows.
We had just recently move our display cases and had no posters in the windows.

A customer was leaving, but was looking the other way and not paying attention to where he was going. Instead of walking out the door (also glass), he walked right into the window. He was fine, just embarrassed and bolted out of the store a.s.a.p.

I almost peed my pants. I did wait until he was out of ear shot before laughing though.

We promptly put displays back in the windows flanking the door.

Answer 4

Around the Christmas Eve dinner table, years ago, completely flustered by the multitude of conversations going on and a breakdown in the passing around of the dishes, my grandma told my dad to "Stop eating with your mouth full!" We still laugh about that one.

Answer 5

One time I accidentally locked my brother's cell phone, and we didn't know the PIN to unlock it. I saw S.O.S. on the screen and thought it would connect me to Rogers Wireless... and the person picked up said "Emergency". I wasn't thinking of "police" so I went and blab on about the problem with my phone, when he interrupted me and said, "miss, this is the 9-1-1 emergency services, do you actually have an emergency?" I turned bright red and couldn't stop apologizing...

Answer 6

I was on here about 3 weeks ago,and saw a video of a dog fighting his own foot over a biscuit. I nearly fell out of my chair I laughed so hard! The link has been removed, or I would post it here!

Answer 7

One day when I was in the break room at work smoking a cigarette this one guy that worked with me came in and saw another guy that we knew in there with me. He thought he was being funny so he said,

"come here Sunny..." what he meant to say was Lemme kick you in the *** but what he ended up saying was...

"Lemme put it in your ***!!"

I d@mn near pee'd myself cause on top of the fact that the guy he was talking to was GAY there was about twenty other guys in the break room with us ahahahahaha. Hmm maybe ya had to be there...

Answer 8

This old man at wal-mart. He was bent over the checkout stand counting his money. His pants were all the way down, he was giving everyone a full moon and didn't even realize it. I was laughing so hard I couldn't even move.

Answer 9

One of my kittens was about to jump over a box...his brother saw him, crouched down, and got ready. When kitten #1 landed, his brother batted him in the face and sent him flying.

Answer 10

Just when you think you have seen it "all"....

2005 Stella Awards!

Time once again to review the winners of the Annual "Stella Awards." The Stella Awards are named after 81 year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald's (in NM). That case inspired the Stella Awards for the most frivolous, ridiculous, successful lawsuits in the United State s


Here are this year's winners:

5th Place (tie):

Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $80,000. by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.

5th Place (tie):
19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical
expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.

5th Place (tie):

Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was
malfunctioning. He couldn't re-enter the house because the door
connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed, to the tune of $500,000. In my opinion this is so outrageous that it should have been 2nd Place!

4th Place:

Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500. and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who had climbed over the fence into the yard and was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

3rd Place:

A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500. after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

2ndPlace:
Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a night club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge . She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses

1st Place:

This year's runaway winner was Mrs. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mrs. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home, (from an OU football game), having driven onto the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go into the back & make herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mrs. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising her in the owner's manual that she couldn't actually do this. The jury awarded her $1,750,000. plus a new motor home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case there were any other complete idiots around.