Legally, we must defend ourselves. We can choose to walk away, but in the midsts of an assumed loving marriage, we build debt. If we walk away, we still assume half of the debt while still losing the matrimonial home.
If we choose to fight, we pay WAY over the top to have a lawyer protect us... in the end, we wind up with nothing.
I am speaking of a situation that involves someone in my family. She has been emotionally torn upside down and stripped of excellent credit record, living in an apartment with little furniture while her spouse lives comfortably in their matrimonial home WITH the other woman.
The person of whom I speak is an emotional wreck. The laws in Ontario Canada do not protect a spouse from an affair.
They have no children and were married for 8 years.
Why can't people leave a marriage before exercising their right to love another?
I also wonder how the other woman is living with herself believing such a man who has done nothing but lie to her.
2006-07-05 02:54:13 · 9 answers · asked by swilkes 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You're right. It's not fair and the quick and dirty answer is: That is the risk one takes when one marries. The best thing to do is to get up, dust off, and move on. Easier said than done, but there is no other solution. If your relative is an emotional wreck and doesn't move on, she'll turn bitter and resentful and that's adding insult to injury. She needs to take time to grieve and hurt, but in time, it'll pass. This sort of thing happens to so many people...
By the way, the laws in the US do not protect a spouse from the other having an affair either. It's a ground for divorce, but expect no special protection or punishment from the court. Those days are over.
2006-07-05 03:16:05 · answer #1 · answered by scubalady01 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because some of them are blinded, by what the affair does to their spouse. Or some don't care how it affect the other. Men /women cheat. It tears the heart and home. The years of marriage and the respect for the other.
Some would fight, while others just let go. But at the end, we have to live life. We have to start all over again. It's the a new start that bother us. Just knowing, half of us still with our ex spouse.
Everyone pays a high price. The innocent, and the ones who are the backstabbers. They will get what coming to them. Sooner or later, they will always get what they done to others.
Being married for so long, with someone you love the most. You both laugh, love, cry, and fight. When you feel half of you is tore apart thru an affair. The world comes crashing down, and life don't exist anymore.
But we have to open our eyes, and see a new day dawn. Life goes on. We pick up the pieces thats left, and get on with our life. So one is no good, does not make the other bad either.
2006-07-05 10:15:46 · answer #2 · answered by kygl28 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, the other woman is of such low morals that she simply doesn't care about the pain she has caused another woman or that she has destroyed a marriage. Your friend should stop dwelling on that.
Second, for your friend's sanity, get her into counseling asap.
I cannot say this strongly enough, she needs to put her emotional health first and take care of herself. Her loser ex-husband and his twinkie are not going to waste one second worrying about her. She shouldn't waste one second dwelling on what happened. She needs to look to the future because she cannot change the past.
She needs a new life goal or dream. She needs to figure out how she's going to achieve that goal or dream. Success is the best revenge!
2006-07-05 10:07:22 · answer #3 · answered by CleverGal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like she had a terrible lawyer and trusted a loser. Something doesn't make sense here, unless Canadian laws are messed up. What what the reason for divorce? The affair, right? Assets are not split evenly? She should have gotten the house, right? What am I missing?
2006-07-05 11:49:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a pro-bono lawyer or a lawyer provided by the providance. If the house he is living in was bought while they were married, she owns half of it. If she just lets go, she'll regret it. She needs to fight for what she wants. The laws aren't going to change anytime soon.
2006-07-05 10:17:25 · answer #5 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wellt he other woman will get hers in the end, personally i don't know how she is living in the house knowing the wife lived there, and how he can live with himself knowing what he has done to his wife emotionally and financially is beyond me he is obviously not what she thought. She will get through this in the end and she will be a better person for it, (it may not seem that way right now) and in the end he will be the one with nothing and more than likely in a miserable relationship that he will try to hold together just so nobody says to him I told you so.
2006-07-05 10:14:07 · answer #6 · answered by mimismom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
BTDT, the only thing that allowed me to sleep at night was my firm belief that karma does exist, and what goes around comes around. Even though I may not be there when it happens, it will, and he will cheat again, or she will leave him for someone better, in either case they get what they deserve...
Intangible, yes... but enough to get through until you forget about them both...
Good luck to your friend. Just remind her that it is not her issue, and that the best thing that could have happened was that she find out now, vs down the road when children are involved...
2006-07-05 10:33:58 · answer #7 · answered by Gypsy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think its because they like the thrill the part where they no that they will be cought
i think they need to grow up before getting married
2006-07-05 09:58:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ahhhhh. You are feeling my pain......
may I suggest that... wives cheat on their husbands..
2006-07-05 10:00:33 · answer #9 · answered by ibjuscoolin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋