I wrote it
HOLLOW SOUL
I'm falling
Falling down
There is no end in sight
Still calling
Out your name
There's no answer, no light
As Hollow as my soul is
My heart is now gone
Your love no longer growing
What I am is wrong
Take my hand
Fill what's hollow
My soul's turning to sand
Please don't let go
You were mine before
This happened
Now you closed the door
To my coffin
Nothing seems right
I’ve given you my heart
You've turned away
Ripping me apart
But I'm still here to stay
So
Take my hand
Fill what's hollow
My soul's turning to sand
Please don't let go
Take my hand
Fill what's hollow
My soul's turning to sand
Please don't let go
I'm just hollow like your god
Nothing deep inside
You left it all to rot
Thinking I have lied
Take my hand
Fill what's hollow
My soul's turning to sand
Please don't let go
2006-07-05 01:58:06 · 13 answers · asked by rm2kdark_lord 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Music
I know i'm not that good with lyrics and such and this song is one I've been considering working more on for a self named album I'm trying to release soon. This song is a slow song as well.
2006-07-05 02:06:15 · update #1
The lyrics are as good as any modern day song I've heard although I must admit that I don't find modern music very inspiring when you compare it with some of the past stuff (The Beatles come to mind along with Burt Bacherach and others). It would have been interesting if you'd shown a chord progression and melody line since words written like this are just poetic prose. On a critical note, if you don't mind, I notice that some verses rhyme and some don't. I would suggest that you choose one or the other. Also some verses have 1st and 3rd lines and 2nd and 4th rhyming and on others just 1st and 3rd and others not at all. Perhaps with a bit of tidying up and standardisation you could make a great song. Make sure you keep the sentiments of the lyrics though. This comes over as a sad song, a plea to a former lover. Make sure that other songs you write don't all follow the same topic but add a bit of variety if you intend doing an album.I've written dozens of songs during my career as a musician and my advice is 'Stick at it and learn as you go along'.
2006-07-05 02:25:25 · answer #1 · answered by quatt47 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's pretty good, if i may suggest though,
Take my hand
Fill what's hollow
My soul's turning TO sand
Please don't let go
the to to be changed to into. i think it might sound better or it could be the music playin in my head when i sang it. good job.
2006-07-05 09:11:23 · answer #2 · answered by spontaneousfemale1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
More of a Poem than a song, guess i would have to hear the music that goes with it.
2006-07-05 09:02:07 · answer #3 · answered by Bastic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweet song just tell me the beat
2006-07-05 09:03:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anna 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
since you asked, im really going to be a critic..
i like it. i think it is good, and you have a creative mind, however, i dont like when you compare your soul to sand... im not sure if its just me that doesnt quite get that, but i think its alittle weird. but everything else, i think is great.
2006-07-05 09:01:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It was really good :-), and touching, I could kinda relate to it
very nice song
2006-07-05 09:04:55 · answer #6 · answered by mrsmoan92 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Great but u shouldnt have posted it like that... someone might copy it
2006-07-05 09:01:33 · answer #7 · answered by Rose 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could have something going there ! Work on it !
2006-07-05 09:01:42 · answer #8 · answered by j o e Y 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont noe i was 2 lazy to read it all
2006-07-05 09:04:34 · answer #9 · answered by funny_dude785 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not bad
2006-07-05 09:02:24 · answer #10 · answered by coca_dart 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋