do i take her back or not??

Question

my wife had a one night stand,with an old friend of hers{male},i slung her out,then took her back to work things out,a week later she said she was leaving,i said if she goes dont come back,she left,thats was 4 weeks ago now she has another home[alone] and is asking to come back home.do i ?or dont i?or do i divorce>

up on talking yesterday by phone to my wifee.i asked if she was still seeing this other person as she has moved to the same area he lives.the answer was [occasionally i do.]so now its turned in to an affair.

Answer 1

I think not, you gave her a chance onces be4 and she took the piss she musnt love u 2 cheet on u in the first place never mind says she is leaving u after u took her back if u do she will walk all over u again n again coz she no's u love her that much that wat ever she does u will let her back because the worst thing u can do in a relationship is cheat on the outher person that in it with u ur oversaly wirth more than her dnt worry about being on your own they say things happen for a reason **** luck and do not back down no matter wot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 2

Perhaps you shouldn't get back together for now. (All the to-ing and fro-ing and blame won't help either of you.) You do need to talk though. (NB: I don’t know what arrangement you originally had between you, with regard to the house, so I’ll reserve judgment or personal opinion on the matter, but it is obviously a practicality you will need to eventually address.)

Perhaps you both need an objective person to help? Seeing a counsellor together might get you to a solution more effectively. It may be that the marriage is unsalvageable but I think it would be a shame to throw it away without seriously considering your options (of which there are, of course, many).

Answer 3

Is a one night stand really cheating cheating? One night stands can happen for lots of reasons, in my opinion its not the same as an affair, with all the lies and deception. What you need to ask yourself, do you want to throw your marriage away over one mistake. I am sure she has learnt her lesson, don't be too hasty think about it, if she does repeat the act again, then yes divorce her.

Answer 4

You don't mention how long you have been married, and if this has been a problem in the past in your marriage.

I would suggest you take her back and give her a second chance. Lay out the ground rules, letting her know what you expect of her and in your marriage. If she faulters again, then i would consider counseling as an option before going through a divorce.

Answer 5

Dont take her back; if she loved you she would never have gone with another man, nor would she have put you through all this pain and insecurity. She is looking for something, and I hate to say it, but if she comes back, she will leave again when she finds it!! Just end it and put it down to experience; there are decent women out here!!!! Good luck.

Answer 6

There are many many opinions and answers to this question but only one revelation. If you continue in this relationship WHAT will your quality of life be under these circumstances? Will your days and every single thought be consumed with distrust for her? Keeping track of her every movement, checking phone bills and cell #,s, gas milage etc. Think about who you are and what you can handle. If living this existance does not nurish you and bring positives into your life then your answer should be clear.

Answer 7

It's totally up to you but in my opinion you would be stupid to take her back. You've had 4 weeks without her, build on that and get yourself a life that doesn't include her.
If you take her back, you will just end up going through it all again and could you trust her? I doubt it.
Make a clean break and move on. You are destined for better.
Good luck with whichever route you decide to take.

Answer 8

Is there a reason why she felt the need for a 'spark'?
Even so, she's still cheated. At the moment she does'nt have a 'friend', so you might be a stopgap. Be careful she doesn't use you if you take her back. The chances are if she's done it once, she will do it again.

Answer 9

Do what is best for you she has been selfish so take some time to think about what you want. I have takenmy partner back after cheating its not easy but we are getting through it. If she is willing to work hard at it and loves you go for it but do what is right for you good luck

Answer 10

You gave her a chance and she threw it back in your face. Don't bother, she doesn't seem to have much respect for you as she didn't even try, when she was in the wrong.

However if you choose to go back to her then I suggest get some marraige counselling as it might help both of you and might also make you realise what you want.