how can we stop mothers of reducing their kids' self esteem ?

Question

80% of kids who lake self confidence have mothers who play a tremendously huge role in underestimating their kids' abilities and capability of being someone ! so how can we stop them ? and what do u think the reason of doing such a thing ?

Answer 1

I don't think mothers would really want to undermine their children, but they do, mothers just don't realize it.

First, I think mothers have to be conscious of all their actions in front of their children, or even if their child is not around. Because, plain and simple, things get around, people talk about events and occurrences no matter how insignificant these events may be. A passive comment of how their child made a mess on the bed, might drop the child's confidence.

And when mothers get together to chat or something along the lines of that, they seem to like to talk about their children. When they mention something silly that happened to their child, it embarrasses the child. So please, if mothers like to talk about those kinds of things, do it in private, not were other people not in your group, or someone who'd tease your child, could/would hear it.

And second, I don't think some mothers realize how sensitive their children can be. A small criticism on the mothers part, could be a huge thing to child. They seem to understand this fact when their children are still young, but they seem to forget it once the child grows up.

No one can stop the mothers from doing these things, except themselves. Even if you tell someone to say, clean their room, that doesn't mean that they'd do it, they have to have at least some willingness to do so.

Answer 2

you know mothers can only do there best, but we could do better sometimes, the way i see it , if it is a 2 parent home, then usually kids are fine as long as the parents are fine. but once they have only one parent thats when they crave the attention needed from a second parent. I am not saying give the kids all the attention and spoil them, I am saying that parents who want to be responsible and have children, should stick together and tough it out for the better of the child. I just wanted to say also that why is it the mothers fault when majority of the time we get knocked up and the man takes off!!!! I think the question should read How can we stop Fathers from reducing their kids self esteem?

Answer 3

Children do not arrive in the delivery room with an instruction manual. When children are born parents do their best which is often only as good as their own upbringing. If a mother or father was raised in a family where they were not valued and supported then it is an irrational expectation to think they would automatically know how to parent their own children differently. Most parents have no idea if they are "doing right" by their children since the result of the upbringing is typically not seen until those children are adults. People just do their best and hope that things turn out all right. Making a conscious decision to raise your child differently than you were raised requires a lot of self-reflection and courage in admitting that you, yourself, were not raised in the best way. Until a mother or father overcomes their own psychological and emotional issues it will be difficult, if not impossible, for them to avoid passing on these "quirks" to their children.

Answer 4

If mothers would stop doing the things that they wouldn't want their kids to do like cursing, smoking, yelling, stealing, wining, giving up, watching too much TV, and so on, then mothers wouldn't be telling their children what they are doing wrong all the time. Mothers are always yelling "stop", ''no", "don't do that", "clean your room", "don't say that", and so much more. The pattern is first they are telling, not asking which shows the child to tell not ask, and second, they are negative. Before yelling at a child for something, go back and ask yourself, "is my room clean"? "Do I watch too much TV"? This goes back to the saying treat others the way you want to be treated. Just because kids are little and we can boss them around doesn't mean that they don't deserve respect. This will help a child's self esteem. Children learn from the people who they believe know it all, their parents! So lets be good role models, and treat our children how we would want ourselves to be treated! And complement them once and a while: let them know that they are doing something right.

Christina R.

Answer 5

Mothers are very cautious with their children because of what is happening in the world today. They think and rightly so that if something happens to them in the street they won't be able to help themselves. If a child runs into a gang of 'punks' who's only purpose is to hurt people then he is in trouble. Mothers play such a huge role because in today's society most families are one parent and it's the mother and she has complete responsibility for the children. I don't see any way this can be stopped with the population growing the way it is. Every family can't be monitored.

Answer 6

Once a female has a child, they become a "mother". If that "mother" has self-esteem issues of thier own, they may project that lack and attack thier children. An old joke goes:

My daddy beats mommy
My mommy beats me
I beat the dog
and the dog bites the mailman
who beats his wife... and so on, and so on

Eventually, that "worthless kid" ages and physically becomes an adult; however if that physically mature adult still has the "programming" of that "worthless kid" they can either accept or reject the programming.

Before we grow that kid up however, there is no real way to give that "worthless kid" another POV without someone stepping in to give that kid positive and genuine POV. Some one who can negate the negatives that they're been given with positives that the kid earns by thier own doing.

Short of Mother getting a reality check into what she's planting in her kid's person, mom is gonna know her kid down until...

Answer 7

I have always thought that when a woman becomes pregnant (married or not) should take a parenting course by law. Learning how to deal with and raise children by professionals would change a great deal of the way children are raised by mothers who think they are doing things the right way from example of their own parents. Personally, my mother was very protective of me - to the point where it was difficult for me to make my own decisions based on low self esteem. I was always in fear that I would make a wrong choice. Well, as it turned out, I DID make a lot of wrong choices but I learned from every one of them and now (with aging and learning) my self esteem is high. By the way, I wouldn't have changed anything in my life because through all the years of happiness, sadness, turmoil, etc. the things I learned and experienced made me the person I am today, and I like myself. No one can expect to have any sort of successful relationship (friends, marriage and the like) without liking yourself.

Answer 8

For starters I was an elementary teacher for 21 years. I taught in a poor community, most people were on Welfair. Most of them were proud parents and stepped up to do the best for their kids.
I do not know where your statistic is coming from and how much area it is covering. I find the question a pretty good one but it is vague.
My thoughts on your question is that it is terrible that children are abused in any way possible. There are ways that the children are taken from the home. However emotional abuse is not one of them. Being downgraded and being told you never do anything right, doing it right but not being recognized for it. I myself suffered emotional abuse. I believe that everyone has at one point or another.

However, the mother's who are making their children to lose their self-confidence can not be approached and be told that. If the are to be approached, which I don't believe they should, A lot of times it is better to just leave things alone.

As a teacher in a deprived society I had to learn to let the feelings of the parent go and teach the children with love and respect. After a school year in my class most of the students felt better. When I would see them in the hall the following yearI would hear a very happy Hi Mrs.*****. And that made me happy. I knew I helpd at least one. But as the years went on students would come to me. They were happy and doing great things. When we have our own children or when we are educating others children we must teach then self respect, they are a valuable human being. They can be successful. Etc.

For some parents in deprived living conditions they have never been taught how to raise children. They raise their children the way they were raised. As for the other group of children, parents just aren't thinking. They don't see the hurt. There is no bruising. At least mt not on the outside. I was emotionally abused growing up in a upper middle class society. My father who had and excellent job and high up in management in a toothpaste/detergent/dishwasher powder-liquid/dishwashinh liquid. But he got in these moods and he would take it out on my sisters and myself. So you see, your answer is a pretty good one but it is very difficult to answer.
There are just too many variables. But I tried to answer your question.

Answer 9

WHY are you blaming this 100% on "mothers" ? Get real !!!! Fathers do the same thing.

People need to be educated on how to raise children. No one is born an expert. Just look at TV shows like "Super Nanny" or the wife-swapping show {where the wives change homes and impact the homes for the better ,or at least try to}. Look at how much people learn on those shows.
But the government doesn't care about that. You need to be raised to fit in, shut up, and go to work. That's about all they care about.

In my opinion, it's simple. ADORE YOUR KIDS. Let them know it.
Encourage their natural interests. Don't expect them to be like you, either. Think of how you'd feel if you lost them. That gives a better perspective on everything. Realize what is most precious in life and how easy it is to lose someone.
However, a lot of FATHERS as well as mothers are simply not that intelligent................

Answer 10

Much of this is the result of how the mother was raised herself. Often, the mother will not even realize what she is doing. This is not a problem that will go away quickly. The best way to get rid of it is for each mother to do her best not to put down her children. Then, the children will not behave badly towards their own children and the good behavior will spread. By the way, fathers are guilty of this as well.