If you have an autistic child, what was the best piece of advice you received?

Question

I am writing a book about the most important decisions you need to immediately make regarding your child -- after an autistic diagnosis.

Your help and advice is appreciated!

Answer 1

My son was taken for PDD screening when he was younger because of an apparent lack of social responsiveness. He was found NOT to have an Autism-spectrum disorder. His issues are due to a combination of very poor eyesight, inattentive ADHD, OCD, sensory integration dysfunction, and psychotic disorder-NOS. Meds DO remediate his behavior, and he's currently receiving OT, PT, and psych counseling at school.

However, I've had to deal with many similar issues that parents of autistics have to deal with... odd behaviors, social rejection by peers, selective responsiveness to stimuli, over-responsiveness to stimuli, lack of physical coordination, difficulties with academics, etc.

The most important things that helped us, as soon as we had some idea of what was happening, were to:

1) Most importantly, recognize the person underneath the symptoms, and know that the symptoms are NOT the person inside.

2) learn how to advocate for proper educational programming in the schools, and not be shy about it -- also, as the child gets older, unless also MR, get him/her into regular ed electives with patient teachers. My husband teaches high school Drama, and has two autistics over the last 10 years attend his program. Both gained skills from participation, and actually did very well on the stage. After all, in order for an autistic to interact with NTs, he/she must be a consumate actor, anyway. Putting that act on a stage, and gaining approval from an audience full of peers, is an incredible, wonderful experience for the autistic. Of course, back stage supervision, the autistic's own "wait" area away from the other actors, etc. are crucial.

3) obtain proper therapies (and in our case, medication) for our child

4) structure our home environment to provide both the comfort levels our son needed, AND our own areas, time, etc. to allow US to be comfortable, gradually easing him into accepting that things won't always be comfortable for him, at home or in the world. Now that he is 12 years old, we firmly run our own house, and he adjusts just fine.

5) Maintain high expectations and hope for the best, but also plan for, find, and set up government and personal supports in the event of the worst. For our son, he wants to farm, and do archaeology in the off season. He's also interested in planetary science (currently on a kick about terraforming Mars). We are constantly providing him with educational materials in his areas of interest. On the other hand, I also just got him on the waiting list for the state D & E waiver in case he can't live independently when he's an adult.

6) Take it one day at a time.

Answer 2

I do not have an autistic child, but I've taught children with autism for the past 9 years. I love the advice someone gave about seeing the child and not just the behaviors.

My advice to any parent whose child had special needs, particularly autism, in this question, is:

You are your child's advocate. Once you've found out what your child needs, fight for it. Know you're rights within the school system. School districts, in many cases, will try to get by with as little as possible, in order to save themselves money. I've told parents before to fight for what is right for their child.

Never underestimate what your child can do! He/She will always surprise you.

Richard Lavoie (who has done tons of work with learning disabilities) said something like... Fair is giving each child what he or she needs - not giving the same thing to everyone.

Answer 3

Be patient. Two mothers here have killed there autistic child and stated that it was just too hard. You will need the patients of Job and having a good network of friends to help you through the frustrating times would be a god send.

Answer 4

After diagnosis has been made, it is important to find out what areas need to be addressed and to form a treatment plan with specialists trained in the area of autism. One form of treatment is behavior modification. Where the targeted behaviors are addressed and desirable behaviors are reinforced and negative behaviors are reduced. Using a treatment called applied behavioral analysis. A helpful book about ABA is titled "Let Me Hear Your Voice: A Family's Triumph Over Autism" By Catherine Maurice.

Answer 5

My advice is to start making decisions ahead of the official diagnosis. There is no way to prepare for the tidal wave of emotions that comes when the Developmental Pediatrican makes the diagnosis. Before my son got his diagnosis I had spent a full week of sleepness nights gathering all the information I could about floor play, the teach method and ABA. We had decided to go with ABA before he even got the diagnosis. The afternoon of his diagnosis we called his service coordinator and told her to start ABA therapy right away. Having decisions in place allowed my husband and I to "digest" the news.

Answer 6

Be patient and treat him as a normal child. Observe closely what he wants and from there you will discover how to handle him. Talk to him in a playful manner because there will be time when he will talk to you in a normal way. Always keep him neat and clean. Never say no to him but try to divert his attention from his wrong doing. Most of all, LOVE HIM. Make him feel the presence of love and security.

Answer 7

My sister has a autistic child. She got him auditory training, and it seemed to make him less sensitive to certain noises. He hated the scanners at grocery stores, and other electronic noises. This really helped (in my option).

Answer 8

While taking it one thing at a time, love your child, and the strength of your love would help you overcome anything, just to give your child the very best.

ASD or not, that's not the issue.

Answer 9

well i read this novel in my English class called 'The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time' and the main character had Asperger's Syndrome (kinda like austism). It says that you have to be patient and just accept the child as it is coz it can cause more conflict. They need to be appreciated just like any child. Cooperate with their skills and understand them...