as christians especially when you promise God that we will remain faithful to our spouse. I had what I thought was a wonderful loving family of 14 years. and in a month. My wife and I seperated. We are now divorced. I am still an emotional wreck and the divorce is a year old this month. Now I see why Thou shall not commit adultery is the 6th commandment. Why don't people realize what adultery does to families and especially our kids.
2006-07-05 00:32:03 · 14 answers · asked by christsluv4u 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Some people do. You just happened to get with one that doesn't.. You and ten million other people who took "vows". You're better off without him.. you'll see.
2006-07-05 00:40:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your vowels are not meant to be taken lightly. They should mean everything to you and your spouse. Sometimes the other spouse doesn't feel the same way about them. It is unfortunate but dose happen. There are reasons for divorce in the bible though, but it is not meant to be taken lightly. Adultery is one of them, but you are suppose to take them back and try and work things out. If you can't you can divorce, but you are not suppose to remarry until that person dies. It says if a man divorces his wife he causes her to commit adultery and the man she marries. If she divorces you she causes you to commit adultery and the woman you marry. That is why you are not suppose to remarry until that person has died. People now days take marriage to lightly, they get married and think well if things don't work out I will just divorce them. Usually the children are in the middle. I have been married for 24 years, and we were separated in number 13 for 6 months. Not because of another person though, but because we had got so use to each other we forgot how much we cared and loved each other. Marriage is not easy. It took the being apart to realize how much we needed each other. Leave her alone and move on, if God wants you two to be together he will send her back, if not he will make a way for you to be happy. Pray about it. You can always talk to God about anything. God Bless, and good luck.
2006-07-05 07:51:14 · answer #2 · answered by laurelbush28762 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriages are temporary these days. Years ago divorce was frowned upon and not as common. We get married and say vows because those are the things we say to get married not because we are meaning them fully. So things get a little rough in the marriage and instead of working it out we just give up. We are too lazy to really try. If people realized how bad things are for the kids they might think twice about divorce but we are getting more and more selfish all the time!
2006-07-05 07:39:28 · answer #3 · answered by Gone fishin' 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So much pain, so many question, so little space....I am sorry for your pain, really I am. This kind of betrayal can lay the strongest person low and you certainly reflect that is what has happened to you.
No promise - to God or to another person - will keep someone true to their word if they lack the integrity and moral fiber necessary to do so. God expects us to take care of ourselves - that's why He gave us so much; we are supposed to use it. I can't tell you, of course, why your wife chose to betray you - but it WAS a choice. It didn't "just happen."
Why these things happen - this is not a mystery to me. My own opinion is that thesethings happen because we have ceased teaching our children about consequences. We have ceased allowing children to experience the consequences of their actions and the actions of others. We want everyone to "win" - we want all children to have their self-esteem protected - (for example: no one keeps score at soccer games and everyone gets an award ) Children are not allowed to find their own level in the society of a playground; they are not held accountable for their bad behavior, and so on and so on and so on. We do not make our children examine their own behavior and acknowledge that what they did resulted in the consequences - and we don't push them to evaluate what they could have done differently to change the outcome. We do not develop integrity in our children.
So when these children become adults, they pretty much see the world as their oyster - and if they encounter some consequences that aren't so wonderful, then they suddenly become "victims." This is why you see so many people who have affairs say, "Oh we didn't MEAN for this to happen.....it just happened!" That's just not true - what happened was they they were undisciplined in their character and just followed whatever emotions they had - just as they did when they were children. And, since as children, they experienced no consequences, they did not give a single thought to the consequences of their actions as an adult.
The Ten Commandments are a good set of guidelines for just about everything, but better yet is the Golden Rule which pretty much covers it all. We don't teach out children the Golden Rule anymore - we don't make them live it. So as adults, it is meaninless.
Again, I am so sorry for your pain. However, I hope you can realize that the loss happened long before the separation and divorce. She wasn't the person she made herself out to be. And your life has suffered and changed because of it. Now, however, you can learn from this and grow - and make sure your children become better adults than either you or your ex.
Good luck.
2006-07-05 07:48:20 · answer #4 · answered by two 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree that the trend toward appathy toward marriage vows is saddening.
Adultery is selfish and disrespectful. I think it's a lazy and deceitful way to handle a problem.
When I married my husband (going on 7 yrs), I promised God and my husband that I would be faithful to my husband. I interpreted that to apply sexually, conversationally, etc. Whenever I talk about my husband, I try to be not just honest, but also flattering- I don't want anyone to even question whether I love him.
My church teaches that at a wedding there are really 3 people making promises- the bride, the groom and God. So long as the bride keeps her promises to God and the groom, God will keep His promises to her, and same goes for the groom.
Translate this to your situation- your wife broke her marriage vows, but you didn't. God will keep His promises to you, but is no longer bound to continue to bless your ex-wife. You stay faithful, pray for strength, and He will provide.
May God bless you.
2006-07-05 07:47:07 · answer #5 · answered by Yoda's Duck 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your question makes me very sad. I am so sorry to hear about what happened to you, and your family. I know what you are going through, and I wish I knew why some people will not keep their vows.
Some people just seem to be selfish. They go about their lives only caring about themselves and their own needs. I wish it was not like that, but thankfully there are those who do keep their vows, and do care about their families and do not want to hurt those who love them.
Seek counseling. It will feel worse in the beginning, but after a few times, you will start to feel better. God bless you and good luck.
2006-07-05 07:42:50 · answer #6 · answered by Me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When we take on the responsibility of a marriage we understand that the commitment is between three entities, GOD, MAN & WOMAN, the people that forget, discard, distroy, disobey and otherwise see their marriage to it's doom have accountability to two other entities to seek forgiveness. GOD and the Spouse that was trampled on. God is a loving and forgiving God, he knows we are human and are sinful, pray for guidance and soul search for your peace of mind. Forgive yourself, forgive your spouse, forgive anyother person that has interfered in this union, they also have comitted a great sin, forget the pain, forget the past and forget all of the crap that lead up to this unfortunate event, heal your heart, mind, body and soul, move on, you can not change on day that has past, learn from it so you avoid similar pit falls in the future, consider yourself lucky, blessed and move on!
2006-07-05 07:44:42 · answer #7 · answered by want2flybye 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
who did it you or her ,Adultery should not always mean divorces . Is one small crime in 14 years worth another r 30 years of unhappiness. Lets be real threes a lot worse things to do to each other then getting laid
2006-07-05 07:38:14 · answer #8 · answered by jac 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget about it! Easier said than done I know, but you have to move on, your partner did. Same thing happened to me, the wife thought it would be cool to step outside of the marriage for a night. Well, one thing led to another, and walla, instant relationship blossomed with guy that wouldn't do anything for her later on in their relationship. To bad, you made your bed, you know the rest. I'm actually relieved after 15 years that she decided to have her fling, it was easier for me to say goodbye. Good luck.
2006-07-05 08:20:52 · answer #9 · answered by ndvsne1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
because people see themselves and not what it does to others. It is a terrible situation and i dont exactly know if you feel like you will never get back on the horse again so to speek but i think that you will be just fine. true love is hard to find but once its there it never leaves
2006-07-05 07:36:21 · answer #10 · answered by skits 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋