I have problems talking to my boyfriend?

Question

Everytime, I have problems with my boyfriend. He doesn't want to listen to me, when I talk to him, he thinks I am complaining. But I am a person, I have to talk about my problems.
Is that the different between men and women?

Answer 1

Bingo!

That is the different between men and women.

What you see as talking he may see as nagging.

Answer 2

Not all of them.

In relationships I believe the roles often go to opposite directions.

Women are generally expressive but in a relationship a guy can be in need of more expression than the lady.

In this case the guy gets the complainer tag.

Stereotypically though, the lady expresses her feelings and say "we need to talk" and the guy just says "hmmm" or doesn't really care.

I don't think there's a particular solution for this but some people are just not made for sharing feelings about a relationship. They just live it.

In that case I can suggest to find someone you can share your feelings with. Be careful not to go to extremes. I don't think you would want a guy with sticky nonstop incurable romance stuff 24/7.

You should also be able to go on with your life without questioning the relationship too much.

Sure it hurts, but the more we cannot express our feelings the more we feel trapped and become obsessed about the issue.

Resist the urge to discuss the problem and try to give him some time. If he's insensitive for almost all of such problems. Then reconsider.

This doesn't mean just forgetting that there's a problem. But trying to prevent it to takeover your everyday life and check yourself whether you're overreacting or not.

One should also think and think again if the problem lies within him/herself

So basically just take it like a mature lady and see if the relationship has a future. Don't be a perfectionist, be flexible, look for the better properties in your partner. But If it doesn't suit you, leave before you both become parents.

Good luck

Answer 3

oh that is the way men are: picture yourself a cavewoman. you spend the day in the cave and around it taking care of the cave and the kids. Your caveman is oout there hunting, so he does not have to be organized. like that he would bother to hang the towel on the rack rather than leaving it wherever it falls. and all his communication is like "sssh, there, on your left", "go for it, i will bang it on the head and you will grab it by the legs", "ouch, run fast, it is not dead, only sleeping". believe me, this is the only style of communication a man feels comfy with - possibly brief, factual, informative sentences, nothing about discussing, feelings. in evening your caveman comes home and either 1. you tell him how good hunter he was or 2. nag about how little he brought and how useless he is, which hurts him. Trying to discuss anything else, especially if it is a problem, is logically interpreted as the second.

I know i am exagerating, but in general terms, this IS how it is.

so either you will have to cope with this for the rest of your life, or stay single or turn lesbian or find that rare case of exception to this rule, (if there is any).

As women are more sensitive than men (cavewomen had to interpret the feelings of babies to look after them properly, while cavemen did not care much of what the sentiments of the prey were), you can realize how much men lack the appreciation (expressed not by loving looks, but in CLEAR AND STRAIGHTFORWARD words). so you had better learn talkiing men s language. Then you can talk about your issues, but again in a straightforward way : I have a dilemma and as you are my man i want to ask you a question so i am going to tell you the question and you are, please, going to give me reply. this should work, but only if the man is not doing anything else at that time, because men cannot listen to two things at the same time. The cavewoman had to watch all the kids, while a hunting caveman had to be 200% concentrated on the prey, whatever was giong on in the background. If you dont believe me, do a test. next time you find a girl/guy siting and reading paper, you just say (normal voice, neither too loud, nor too low) for example " we have a new neighbor". if it is a girl, she wil say "oh, really", if it is a guy, he would not move. then when you shake his body and say "did you noticed i talked to you?" he will say "nope, you didnt ". This works some 80%. try it. and dot forget to tell your little caveman how much you like him.

Answer 4

Yes, there's a huge difference. Chemically, Phisically, Mentally, and Psychologically. Its by man's nature, to not want to express feeling at all, at risk of being hurt, while women avoid being hurt badly by showing feeling, and when together, if they're on complete ends of the spectrum, no leaway, it won't work.

Answer 5

yeah thats the difference, men see serius talking as complaining and nagging, i suggest when u r having problems wait for a day then u can tell him u want to have a serious chat with him.

Answer 6

it is not the difference between men and women but there mentality is different....all the guys r not of the same type.....dicuss ur problems with ur bf in a better way don't think that prob as a prob ......feel free to talk to him.....

Answer 7

leave him. without communication there is no relationship. I'd talk 2 him more about it. If he doesnt want 2 listen then find someone who will. if he really loved you he'd listen.

hopes this helps

Answer 8

gals know much more tactics than men. dont worry . talk with sweet heart see his mood . start in polite manner . ask him about his whereabouts and his health .try to help him in personnel things and family matters. u rproblem solved.

Answer 9

communication is the key to a successful relationship.

Answer 10

sell him on E-Bay