Why can't guys take 'No' for an answer?

Question

This has always puzzled me. I'm a shy well-meaning lass, who enjoys a drink in town on a friday night with her girlfriends.

I went out with a few gfriends and we visited our fave pub for old good times sake before moving on. This seedy guy comes over and starts chatting up 1 of us at first and she said 'do we look interested?'. He came back 10mins later with a bottle of wine (that cost £5!), and chats up the girl next to us, boasting that he owned the brand new Peugoet 207 outside (when we knew it wasn't his!). On and on he boasted about money and cars, how he could get us into a all-girl band... blah blah blah. He then asked if we'd do a girly sex video for him! She then told him NO, to take the wine and get lost. Five mins later he came back, leather jacket donned and smoking obnoxiously. He started on me, asked if we would sleep with him as a foursome!!!! I told him to screw himself and that if he didn't move, I'd tell the bartender.

He disappeared.

WTF was wrong him?

Obviously not all guys are the same, so i'm not banding all guys together

I don't really appreciate being told to get a life or get over it... I'm not losing any sleep over this. I just wanna find out how other lasses have dealt with the odd impossibly seedy guy.

the reason why we wanted hime off our backs is just because we up fro a good time that night, just hanging out. We all have boyfriends too and didn't need his attention.

Answer 1

He was the type who never got attention when he was in school. He is the type who always had to prove something to people who didn't care. His parents didn't spend enough time with him or possibly he didn't have them. He is the type who has to accept who he is and not what he wants to be. Yes he is a guy, in a boys body. Next time give him a few baseball cards and tell him to be on his way. The American point of view.

Answer 2

I can't relate to that guy at all, but to the degree that he is capable of thought, I'd guess he was thinking that if he kept approaching you, you might change your minds, and then he would "succeed".

As far as the general question, the whole scene can be confusing for men. Some of the women who complain that men "won't take 'no' for an answer" are the same women who play "hard to get" in the belief that men like "the thrill of the chase". (I sure don't.) Truth is, most men can't tell the difference between "hard to get" and "not interested". So if the man is interested, he'll often keep trying, just in case it's the former and not the latter.

Answer 3

Sometimes you get apples.
Sometimes, the apples got worms.

A large part of this is actually caused by the male "social mindset" of having to prove himself and seeing the act of wooing a woman as a challenge rather than as an act of communication. And if one thinks about it, this isn't limited to men either. The idea of picking someone up seems to be more prevalent than meeting new people in today's society. Magazines talk about "finding the right date" or "sending out signals" and all that hogwash rather than simply just showing how to properly communicate and express one's interest and feelings.

Our society seems to thrive on making the act of communication a game and a challenge, and sadly, when one tries to "play the game" when others aren't really that interested in doing the same, the kind of annoying event like what you experienced tends to happen. Especially if the place is a venue for such mindgames.

Don't hold it against men in general however.
Realize, there are jewels in the rough.

The question is:
Are you going to play mind games and all that jazz?
Or are you going to just communicate?

Answer 4

if you think about this for a moment: the less desirable a guy is, the harder he will find it to take 'no' for an answer. a guy who has something to offer won't mind when a girl turns him down - there is always another one who won't. a guy who has nothing to offer will mind - it's what all the other girls do.

the same is true for girls of course.

Answer 5

How is a guy supposed how you will react until he tries. I am pretty sure that you accepted the £5 wine without hessitation right. If your gona go out on a Friday night, your always gona bump into chancers, wether it is male or female. Its not just a guy thing. Anyway, it aint that big of a deal, and if you really dont like it, stop hanging around in places where this kind of stuff goes on, you might save yourself an early heart attack! WOMEN¬!

Answer 6

The sad thing... isn't that he's an idiot...

The sad thing is that if he runs this number on enough gals, eventually he'll have someone take him UP on it.

Answer 7

The same thing happened to me a few weeks ago, when I was out for an afternoon drink with a friend and her daughter. I presumed that it was the 24 year old who attracted him, but he actually tried to come on to all three of us.
We refused his offer of drinks, and eventually got rid of him by completely ignoring him.
Getting into any sort of conversation is fatal, men like this just thrive on it.
As for his motive, yes, alcohol was involved, but getting as many knock backs as men like this must have, would suggest either an inability to learn from experience, a mental health problem (delusional about their sexual desirability!) or a rabid chancer, a Del Boy character, with none of his humility. Who knows, perhaps one in a hundred girls would fall for his line.
But I doubt it.

Answer 8

The trick is to start talking about how much you love your boyfriend, how he bought you this watch, that car, this holiday, how he's the top scorer at in the leageue rugby etc etc etc. guys get really bored of hearing that!

Answer 9

Hormones and ego, I imagine. Maybe his mother (mum, as you say) didn't raise him properly. He wasn't French, was he? They're very rude.

Answer 10

Well, some men can behave well, and others cannot. And it is the same with women.
I think your main problem is not the behaviour of men, but your choice of pastime activity and venue. Spending time in drinking places, where frustrated people (men and women) gather to drown their problems in alcohol, is not the best thing you can do with your pastime. If you want to avoid unsuitable men, avoid the unsuitable places they find attractive.