What should I do?

Question

I have had 2 past boyfriends who i was with both 18 months and they took cocaine behind my back, it ruined their life, and they changed. I swore never to trust another boy again, as they both cheated as well, as cocaine makes people feel inadequate. I met my current boyfriend through my ex, they knew each other a few months when i split up with my boyfriend. We got on really well from the word go, and he told me he was in love with me, i felt the same but i was scared to trust him. We started seeing each other 3 months later after speaking all the time on the phone & over email. He knew about my past and his morals were so good, he used 2 do cocaine but stopped 6 months before we met. His morals were like mine& he believed swapping number with someone is cheating. We have been 2 gether 2 years now... and on saturday he got really drunk, we had a row and he went out and did cocaine. I told right at the beginning of the relationship that if he done it, i would never talk to him again

he didnt come home that night because he knew i would notice. His mates kept calling me and talking crap down the phone so i knew what he was on, i asked him and he swore on my life he hadnt....
then admitted it over text. I packed my stuff and i have left. I saw him yesterday and i know he is sorry... but i cant trust him. But i also know hes the one. I feel betrayed what should i do? he is usually so lovely and we get along really well, we hardly ever argue and we are like best mates. But i have a trust issue and he made me trust him saying hes not like them, he would never hurt me... then he did.

Answer 1

I say give it a second chance. My friend had the same problem, but isn't it the cheating and the lying that bothers you more? If he stays the person he is, stays loyal and doesn't lie to you about using coke, should it be THAT big of a deal? I know trust if an issue once he lies, but I dont' think it's worth losing someone you truelly get along with because of a lie he was too scared not to tell.

He should have known better, yes, but give him a second chance if you love him.

Answer 2

I believe everyone deserves a second chance but then he has to work at getting your trust back. The first time trust is given once broken it has to be earned. Tell him this and let him know if he ever does it again no matter if you had a fight or not then it is definately over. If you love him like you say you do then give it a go you do not want to pass up something that could be absolutely great. Be strong and let him work at the relationship.

Answer 3

Will you ever trust him again? It's all well and good giving him a second chance but are you going to worry that he will do this again every time you argue and he goes out. If so move on... There is also the possibility he did this and remembers exactly what you told him 2 years ago.

Answer 4

well i have been going out with my boyfriend for 2years 2moro and when we met he was doing pot and all that type of stuff stealing and everything and i told him i hate drugs i hate people stealing and i told him that we arnt gonna work if he cant stop that stuff so really me and you are kinda in the same shoes, when we really got to know each other well we started going out and everything then we went down the coast together and he told me he loved me and that i was the one that he wanted to be with for the rest of his life and ever since then my boyfriend hasnt touched drugs or stolen anything since the day we both admitted to stop doing what we were doing that each other hated so after i met his mum and all that his mum used to try tell me that he was still doing it but he told me over and over again then he even went to the doctor for me and got bloode test but i already beleaved him, i gusse what im trying to say you should give him another chance or wait a while and see what happens start by talking over the phone and just roughly talking about the good things you used to do and then ask him after use are mates why did you do that and explain to him that you love him if you do and that you wanna be with him if you wanna but like it is really tough decision to make i know the shoes your in, and there not fun anyways good luck. :)

Answer 5

There is no such word as ex-user, it only counts as to how long they have gone on not taking it.... you found out this time that he did cocaine, am sure there would have been other times the same has occured and you've never noticed or found out about it.......but just to be on the safe side i think you should give him one more shot and if he goes back to it then u know what to do.

Answer 6

hey babe,you must feel pretty low right now and i do understand how you are feeling. If i was in that situation i would sit him down and talk to him. explain to him why you dont trust him and also explain that if there is no trust then there is really no relationship. you need to trust b4 a relationship has any chance of working.

Id tell him he has a choice. hes upfront with you and is honest or you walk. easy really. if he wants to be with you regardless,then he will try his best to gain your trust again, and if he has a problem with it then tell him your walking away.

thats what i woud do.

and if it does come down to you walking away,yes it will hurt like hell and yes you will be sad upset and down,BUT...............at the end of the day, do you really want to be with someone who lies to you. if he lies to you now, how many other lies has he told you.think about it. lifes too short babe. dont let him treat you like that. xx

Answer 7

Well you gotta know that drug addition is hard to get over. If he has only had one slipp up in two years that's pretty good. This situation is kinda tricky cuz once they slipp up it's hard to say weather they will go back to it again. If you really love him and he loves you talk to him about going to a rehab for drugs. Being addicted to drugs is like being addicted to alchol once you quit you can never touch it again or you will go back to it. If he is will willing to seek help on his addiction then I wouldn't give up on him. If he isn't then I would move on.

Answer 8

If this is the first time he has taken coke in your relationship then give Him one more chance, but watch him closely when he is stressed or when he has been drinking with his mates. If you see any signs that he has taken it again then dump him. I know you love him but it will ruin your life.

Answer 9

You should just remain supportive of him and make sure you tell him how you feel about his actions. If he says to you he needs your help with his problem try to talk it over with him rationally. Then if everything panes out well only then you should worry about what should happen next between you and your boyfriend. Good Luck!

Answer 10

see you have to give him a chance.you know him very well and he's feeling guilty whatever he has done.so forgive him and it'll be better if u both discuss the matter.if don't forgive him he'll continue using cocaine and at this time u'll be responsible for ruining one's life.anyway it's upto you dear.take care n all the best