I have a friend she is in her 30's, and divorced. She has since found a new b/f and she has a child from a previous man. She can barely make ends meet. She had moved him in about a year ago. He does not like to visit with her family or friends. She has had a steady job for 8 years, and just found out that her place of employment is folding under. Income tax time she had given him $1500 to pay off his truck.. He does not pay rent, but was paying towards what he owed her for the truck. Now she is losing her job, and he decides to quit his job, and says he had a disagreement with the boss. They were low on food, and having financial troubles. He goes in the fridge and takes food and sends it to his parents who did not have much to eat as they are disabled. He also takes his last check and pays his parents electric bill. This makes me so angry!! I want to tell her to leave him. Today I gave a bunch of groceries to feed her little girl. Should I have done this??
2006-07-03 22:28:36 · 5 answers · asked by barbaradjt 5 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I am sure he will consume most of the purchases I made...grrrr... What advice can I give this lady?
2006-07-03 22:29:06 · update #1
I don't want to hurt our friendship. She is the nicest most caring person I know. I think she is being played for a fool.
2006-07-03 22:29:48 · update #2
Sometimes he does not come home at night and says he is spending time with his parents. WOn't come home for two days in a row without calling sometimes.
2006-07-03 22:30:31 · update #3
He tells her he is tired of being hurt and will not marry her. He has just gotten out of a marriage. Also, there is a rumor that he had gotten physically abusive with his ex wife.
2006-07-03 22:31:51 · update #4
If all this is true and not gossip. She knows all this and still stays. She will not listen nor does she need your advise. Step back and look at it clearly. She is so nice she is dragging down hill. She will take you with her. It is good that you are nice to the little girl but the Mom will have to face reality. Don't be to available for handouts you might just be being used yourself.
2006-07-03 22:36:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did a good thing. It is unlikely, however, that you can safely tell her to leave him without damaging your friendship. Unless she is an idiot, she already knows this is a bad relationship, but will not own up to it (self-destructive). The best you can do is be supportive and help when you can (without damaging yourself).
2006-07-03 22:34:29 · answer #2 · answered by druid 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend is being a short-sighted fool by not recognizing the harm she is doing herself and her child. Stay out of it, the entire thing is a loser for you: if you tell her to leave him or kick him out, she'll get mad at you. Just be there for her when she comes to her senses and dumps this idiot.
2006-07-03 22:39:05 · answer #3 · answered by fhornsr 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's a sponger but its not your place to lose her as a friend over it. Why dont you try to have a discreet word with him, or offer non-financial help such as trying to help find him a new job?
2006-07-03 22:32:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are very helpfull to others and it is a good thing to think about others first than yourself my advise is that youshould intended things bad always comes bumbing on you but thers still good things that can bump back.
2006-07-03 22:52:19 · answer #5 · answered by macver 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋