Hi, I'm 23, and recently my 20-year-old friend told me she has got engaged to a 53-year-old man she met a in June of 2000 at a friend's house. She says she isn't marrying him for money, as he hasn't got loads (even though he runs his own pub), and she's told me she is now not sure whether to marry him or not. She told me he's still physically active - but has some niggling doubts. How do I help her?? she doesnt know which way to go!
2006-07-03 22:02:06 · 10 answers · asked by Ginny C & Hobie D 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You really can't help her make up her mind. People are going to do what they feel like doing. What you can do, however, is tell her that you'll support her regardless of what her decision is, because you value her friendship.
Even if you don't intially agree with her reasoning, or what it is she does, you can still be available for her. If she is happy in her relationship, be happy for her. If things start to fall apart, be there for her.
Good luck.
2006-07-03 22:09:01 · answer #1 · answered by Hello Che 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her that when she'll be 35 (which is very young, it might look far from her age but it isn't, many people get married at that age) he'll be 68, which is old enough to be a grand-father, and the time to start dealing with hospitals instead of enjoying life. And by the time she's 45 she'll be taking care of a very old man, and she'll be a widow by the age of 50, when she can't start a life agai. She's so young, why doesn't she wait and see?
2006-07-03 22:08:43 · answer #2 · answered by cpinatsi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell ur friend to give time for herself to think over,shes too young to run into matrimony,her to be spouse be of whatever age.Age would definitely affect the relationship,though many say age is just numbers.Age is numbers coming from experience and years.The man she wants to marry may not want to live again the life she as a youngster might want to.Its going to be more or less a parenting relationship from his side,throwing her on the defensive.Physical life would be affected too.She would feel restricted and less motivated by the spouse's influence.She is certainly going to miss her age,if she decides to tie a knot with him.
2006-07-03 22:11:17 · answer #3 · answered by aquarian 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ever heard of Old Is Gold?? Must be true. Or may be she is simply looking for a father figure and is drawn to him for more than that due to constant proximity. Ask her to stay away from him for a definite period and look at how she feels when not in contact. She may be able to resolve things swiftly.
2006-07-03 22:08:01 · answer #4 · answered by gemini0903 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
overlook with regard to the stupid stigma round now days. it will be celebrated that your nonetheless a Virgin. keep your virginity on your spouse. Media makes it out that being a Virgin is undesirable yet actuality is that for the previous 1000's of years, being a Virgin replaced into the fad yet merely 20 years now it really is the alternative. don't sense forced. Be proud damn you!!
2016-11-05 21:00:45 · answer #5 · answered by deller 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't, it has to be her decision. You have to stay out of it or it could come back on you and bite you. Support her in whatever she decides. If she's not sure then don't do it.
2006-07-04 04:54:13 · answer #6 · answered by doglady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am a 54/m eau claire, wi. i don't want to marry anyone. i want a friend with benefits. maybe that is the route your friend needs to take.
2006-07-03 22:30:58 · answer #7 · answered by sinned 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
33 years apart...thats a big difference i dont care how in love they are
2006-07-03 22:07:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her to wait and let her see other guys
2006-07-03 22:11:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her she will be sorry after 20 yrs. when he can't do her.
2006-07-03 22:06:49 · answer #10 · answered by Discovery 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋