A friend of mine is getting a boyfriend, and that means that we can no longer do some of the fun things we do, because her having a boyfriend. If we kept doing what we do, it would be considered cheating to her. What should I do to cope with this?
This will disgust some people, but what we do is an online BDSM thing, and I don't want to lose it.
She'll still talk to me as a person, but I can't stand the fact that I'll be losing that fun.
2006-07-03 21:12:33 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
This sounds like a reasonably deep relationship that you have with your friend. It appears that she decided to expand beyond this relationship and accept someone else into her life. Because of this, you are afraid of the consequences of her decision.
Unfortunately, life works out that way. Change is an unavoidable part of life, and that is something that we have to accept. Some things are simply in the hands of others and we have no control over them.
However, you are not limited in your actions. You can choose to embrace your friend's decision and remain a part of her life, albeit in a differing form, or you can reject it and remove yourself from interacting in a healthy way with her. I would suggest the former as it is better on all parties involved.
The best thing that can come out of this is having an honest conversation that flows both ways, about how the relationship had been in the past, what is going on in the present, and about what is likely to happen in the future. Explain your feelings about the "fun" that the two of you have had and why you fear losing it. Who knows, perhaps she will feel a sense of loss as well. It is only from that working point that your new relationship (or possible lack of one) can have a solid foundation for the future.
2006-07-04 18:02:55 · answer #1 · answered by Ѕємι~Мαđ ŠçїєŋŧιѕТ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, do you really understand what FRIENDSHIP means, if you are true friends, you will not loose the relationship, but if it was just an online "whatever", then you must accept just that. On the other hand if your friendship is worth keeping, you both will keep it. You talk about loosing "that fun", is that all this friendship means to you, surely not, I am sure you have and can make new friends, true friends. Go on give it a try, life is too short to be miserable.
Good Luck
2006-07-04 04:20:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend is right not to want to continue a sexual relationship with you, even if it is on-line. You have to try to find somebody else.
The following four sites specialize in BDSM related personals:
http://www.alt.com
http://www.bdsmdatelink.com/
http://www.bondage.com
http://www.collarme.com
Collarme is totally free.
2006-07-04 06:07:07 · answer #3 · answered by cordefr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you should not think just about yourself.And when she has time she will be with you.It is not all in boyfriends.Also sometimes you need a friend by your side.
2006-07-04 04:16:02 · answer #4 · answered by ♥beautyfly♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to her about how you feel and what you want between you two and not to let a boy mess up a friendship. it might help
2006-07-04 04:17:57 · answer #5 · answered by summer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋