Recently married (1year) . Wife just got great job offer india and wants me to move with her. If i go i will have to give up my job here and basically my career ,as she is been offered a 3 year contract in india and i can not continue with my carreer in india. I am confused. Besides we just got married a year ago. She says i can stay here if i want and we can maintain a long distant relationship ( flying back and forth to see each other). I feel like she is abandoning me though. We jut got married and i feel like we should be spending the next few years with each other building our marriage not taking part in some cross atlantic relationship. If she loves me, she should want to be close to be not away to india for three years. Right?
2006-07-03 20:28:48 · 12 answers · asked by lm_dam 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
lemme ask u a question. Can u live without her or without the job?
2006-07-03 20:31:28 · answer #1 · answered by madchiman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being married also means that if one gets a great opportunity, the other person is supportive of that, and they try to compromise -- why not give up your career and go with her to India? Make your connections. I can certainly understand your hesitancy for a long distance relationship so this should make you think that if it were the other way around, if you got a fantastic opportunity in another country and your wife has a job and life in your town, you would expect her to be accomodating and supportive and follow you right? You must have known and admired her self sufficiency before or else you wouldn't have married her. I think you're being very selfish thinking she's "abandoning" you because she isn't. But she wants this opportunity and as her man you should stand by her side and give her all the support and love she needs and deserves because if it were the other way around, you'd want it too.
I would also, while doing the compromise, ask your wife about having children after the three year gig is up. If you had discussed all this before marriage, this wouldn't be a surprise.
2006-07-04 03:33:37 · answer #2 · answered by scarlettboca 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you are in a very difficult situation. Your wife wanting to take advantage of a career opportunity does not mean she doesn't love you, not at all. You said she wants you to go with her. You do not want to give up your career, either. A long distance relationship is difficult, st best. Maybe, you could try that for a year and see if it is feasible, at all. Such a young relationship having to deal with a 3 year separation is a real test, to be sure. If you are determined, you can do it. I would not give up my career. You will regret it and resent her in the future, if you do. Good luck to you both.
2006-07-04 03:49:07 · answer #3 · answered by limeyheart 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are right, you should be spending time together right now. Also, your job is important too, plus she only has a 3 year contract...you have an actual job. I would tell her that you don't want a long distance relationship at this point and your career is important to you also. If she still wants to go maybe it wasn't going to work anyway...
2006-07-04 03:33:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A career has to be build and it's only 3 years. In between there will be visits by both parties. Internet is so advance. You must have the trust in her as she is building a career for the both your future. A marraige will work with understand and tolerance meaning you must also understand the needs of your other half rather than just thinking for yourself only.
2006-07-04 03:43:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
dude, listen to me. i know you love her, but marriage is all about coming to an agreement. it sounds like she is putting her career be fore your marriage. you need to let her know that in a way that you don't want to sound like an ***. my wife and i got married two years ago and i got an offer to do work in Phoenix (we live outside of st. louis) i didn't take it for the fact that i would either MAKE her move from her family, or suffer the consequences of a long distant relationship. you are in the same predicament.
2006-07-04 03:38:56 · answer #6 · answered by sublime_4doz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well she has to progress her carreer as well, and she is trying to be reasonable with you, long distance is hard!! But you both have to give a little, thats what a relationship is, comprimize.
2006-07-04 03:33:24 · answer #7 · answered by Ryan R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u wanna giv ur career 4 sum1 who gives a damn 2 u. i believe money can b earned all thru ur life.this time shud b 4 ur relation building.if she doest realise this let her go.2day her priority is her career 2mrw she wil throw u out herself.let her go.see if she gives a thout 2 giv up evrythng 4 u
2006-07-04 03:35:37 · answer #8 · answered by queries 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
look at the career you have and ask yourself, "do i see myself doing this for another twenty or more years?" if not, go to india. when will you get that chance again?
2006-07-04 03:31:43 · answer #9 · answered by tim e 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She could be asking you the same thing. Comprimise ok?
2006-07-04 03:32:05 · answer #10 · answered by barbaradjt 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋