The father is good to the child, but refuses to carry his share of financial and house/yard responsibilities. He is happy for the mother to work and support the family. The mother would like to ask him to leave as nothing she has done has helped convince him to get a job. She is physically and emotionally exhausted. Family counseling has not worked. Is the child/son better off with a "dead-beat" dad in the home or with a "dead-beat" dad out of the home? The father is also verbally abusive to the mother. Please advise.
2006-07-03 20:24:17 · 15 answers · asked by lindakflowers 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
When the mother suffers, it affects the children in a negative way... & they suffer too.
The children need their mother to be happy, then they can be happier.
The mother is obviously miserable being with the father & the children will also be miserable.
It would be better for the dead-beat dad to be out of the home, so the misery would decrease.
They suffer more with him in the home than out of the home... because, by him being there constantly, it causes more constant misery.
2006-07-03 21:22:03 · answer #1 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If it was me, he would have been dead or on the street eairlier. Any one that doesn't help his family needs to be removed. and if someone is abusive in any way is a threat to the family and needs to be removed asap. I wouldn't worry about the dead beat thing any more, the courts would make him play child support or he would end up in prison, today. Life is a lot different then in the 60's. And no it isn't good for the child, to see someone call there mother name or other verbal abusive and if it isn't fixed fast they may carry that abuse into there house hold. Stop the abuse now, before it is to late. It take two people in the family to raise a family. Plus what would happen if she would get laid off. No income, the whole family is effected by it. No one rides for free, even females.
2006-07-04 03:35:44 · answer #2 · answered by houtexknights330 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before I got to the verbally abusive part I was going to say she could get a job and let him take care of the kids. But with him being verbally abusive, she needs to either kick him out, or if he won't go then she needs to leave. The kids are not better off with an abusive dad in any sense. She also needs to see a lawyer right away.
If she is afraid he may turn physically abusive with this change, then she should seek help of a battered women's shelter. The local Family Independent Agency would know or her pastor.
2006-07-04 03:28:25 · answer #3 · answered by acholtz@verizon.net 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been down that road already and stayed with the father of my child for 12 years. In the long run since he was verbally abusive to me it has affected the way my daughter reacts to certain situations. To make a very long story short - I worked, he didn't and if I had to do it all over again I would have made the choice to have her father out of the house but still in her life, just not in mine.
2006-07-04 03:32:01 · answer #4 · answered by lisa b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well let me just say that all the love in the world will not feed this baby. You should have kicked him out along time ago if he was not willing to help the family out financially. You need to tell him that if he want to live with you then he needs to have a job and he needs to show respect to the mother of his child if not then he can move somewhere else.
2006-07-04 03:33:56 · answer #5 · answered by jj02 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you believe that you have done everything to get him to get a job and change his attitude then it's time to move on. i had kind of the same problem (except the verbal abuse) my husband was out of a job for a few months. i got fed up with it so left him so he realized that it was serious and in order to get me back he need to help support the family so in two days after i left he found a job. So what i learned it's that sometimes men need to be pressure and also to see that you mean business. give him a ultimatum. if he loves you and the kids he would change and get a job. good luck
2006-07-04 04:17:31 · answer #6 · answered by rxer555 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the court will surely make sure that he gets a child support order if a divorce is in the future. having someone there who does not provide for child is not setting a good example. noone deserves to be verbally abused or abused at all. she should get rid of him as soon as possible, like 5 minutes ago! good luck to her.
2006-07-04 03:30:59 · answer #7 · answered by sinned 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why dont let the father be the home maker, and you go to work for income. Its a modern world out there... try to compensate on this. At least u know that your child is in safe and good hands
2006-07-04 03:49:16 · answer #8 · answered by Sheila 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GET HIM GONE!
Is this really the example you want your child to have?
If it is a son do you want him to think this is ok way to treat his wife?
Would you want your daughter to have your life?THat is what this child is learning.Get out now for the childs sake.It will do the child no good at all for you to stay.Verbal abuse scars last sooooo much longer than the physical believe me!
GET OUT!with the child.
2006-07-04 03:40:49 · answer #9 · answered by cmeand3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the best gift for children is to have a loving parents and loving home. not parents that don't love and respect each other, and a home without love, that is a bad example for what marriage life and home should be. so parents shouldn't be together just for the children, if they don't love each other any more, they should get a divorce and find someone they love, and give their children a real home. but try to work on the marriage and do your best before divorce.
2006-07-04 03:32:34 · answer #10 · answered by Discovery 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋