There is this guy that I had a crush on forever, but I kind of moved on, and met someone else, we both like each other, but we are not dating. I am best friends with the guy that I liked forever,and he immed me asking to be friends with benefits, I told him ok, but I have an uneasy feeling about it, what should I do?
2006-07-03 19:42:55 · 23 answers · asked by mrs_herman452 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
He doesn't want to have sex, he told me he wouldn't do anything that I don't want to.
2006-07-03 19:46:36 · update #1
He doesn't have a girlfriend, he told me he doesn't want anyone to know that we are doing this, and to make things worse, he is my best friends ex, but she is over him, and madly in love with someone else.
2006-07-03 19:48:58 · update #2
I have told him so many times that I dont want to have sex, thats not the kind of benefits that I am looking for, I have known him since February, but my best friend, who dated him,and is 3 years younger than the both of us say that he completely respects women, and he has showed that to me too.
2006-07-03 19:52:55 · update #3
umm dont do it
2006-07-03 19:43:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
1. The phrase "friends with benefits" has a specific meaning. It means friends (not lovers) that have sex. That is what it means. If you don't have sex then your not friends with benefits.
2. If you don't want to be "friends with benefits" then don't. Here is the justification that you give him, "Because I don't want to". Sex even at simply friendship level is such an intimately personal choice that one really owes no one else reasons other than "this is my decision". Any explanation you give him past that is COURTESY and NOT REQUIRED! ALWAYS keep that in mind. When you reach adulthood and if you are acting responsibly it is NO ONES business if you do or don't. So don't let people, especially strangers to pressure you to HAVE sex or NOT to have sex. It is your life not theirs.
3. If you Do have sex be responsible. That means information and protection etc.
4 Did I mention that it is YOUR choice and no one else has a say if you are an adult? (See #2) If your underage you should think about waiting until you are adult age as legalities can GREATLY complicate a situation that will already be complicated by definition.
5 If you are the type of person, (and adult) that likes to share sex only with people you LOVE then you owe NO explanation for that. Let NO ONE make you feel you "Are not hip" for that personal choice. By the same token if you want to share a personal thing as sex with (hopefully) GOOD friends then it is no one elses business save yours and the one you share it with (assuming you're not in a comitted relationship) so let NO ONE make you feel you are a "bad person". It is your life to live and no one elses. Let them live their life.
2006-07-04 10:32:55 · answer #2 · answered by quantumrocket 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have been where you are. emotions could get the best of you and turn into soemthing great and long lasting. i couldn't go on to the next step so we broke up or stopped the benefits, but we still talk. we are still trying to be friends. i also know he still loves me and would start up agin in a second. decide if your friendship, sex, or a chance for love is worth it and make a choice. if you are true bestfriends you will still be best friends if it doesn't work out. the good thing about it is that even if yall dont wotk out and he finds soemone else you will always have that hold on him that will forever connect yo becasue you are freinds that will trully know everything about eachother.
2006-07-04 02:50:45 · answer #3 · answered by angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't! It will ruin your friendship and then you'll wish you had never had sex with him! You already know! You have an "uneasy feeling". Trust in those instincts! Save yourself for marriage! If it's too late for that, there is a thing called a second virginity. Don't do it! Love yourself enough to stay friends!
2006-07-04 02:48:10 · answer #4 · answered by No one of consequence 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go with your intuition. If it is making you feel queasy, don't. A friend with benefits is not a girlfriend, and if this whole thing is bothering you, be upfront and tell him, either we date properly or nothing. Why the friend with benefits? I mean, are you not good enough? Does he have a girlfriend already and just want to try you too? It might be a good idea to find out what his motives are, but as I said, follow your own gut feelings. If the feeling isn't good, respect that and don't do it.
2006-07-04 02:46:34 · answer #5 · answered by dreamcatweaver 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should either be with him or not. Dont be "friends with benefits" you can be friends but dont have benefit until you both are together because i think someone would get to hurt which might be you
2006-07-04 02:48:25 · answer #6 · answered by star_punky2005 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do it , i know you might like him alot but he's either a hoe or he's trying to use you to tell other dudes about you! Do fall for it he's no good . Some guys are just fine until you just really get to know them . And then you think twice and if you get to know him , if you two can't have a moment together and just talking and he only wants to stick his tongue down your throat. I say NOT very very bad choice . Also sleeping with him isn't going to make him like you any better it just gives you a bad name!!!
2006-07-04 02:51:40 · answer #7 · answered by mrsbogan1019 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The most important thing in any relationship, is the feeling of comfort. Whether you are 16 or even married with kids.
you need to be relaxed and happy all the time, that is why you need to base your decisions and relationships from your own happiness perspective.
2006-07-04 02:47:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only be in a relationship with equal mutual feelings. So if that's his way of saying he feels the same way, then be sure before getting involved. otherwise, you'll hurt yourself... i've seen it happen over and over, especially with girls. "friends with benefits" will probably end badly.
2006-07-04 02:48:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel as if you are going to regret not just asking him out later, do it now. Just do what your heart says. I know it sounds kinda corny but seriously, listen to your heart. If that doesn't work out just be happy that you guys are friends and like, fully move on. It will be hard, but you can do it. Good luck!
2006-07-04 02:46:15 · answer #10 · answered by iluvftball217 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just buy a plastic rope and make a knot and get ready to kill yourself after killing your boyfriend.
The world is burning with anger.
Children and women are crying for help all over the world.
by closing all your eyes and ears..you r trying to find a solution for your boyfriend's attitudes.
Okay.
illias
2006-07-04 02:49:57 · answer #11 · answered by illias k 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋