What to do about cheating wife?

Question

I found out a few days ago that my wife was cheating on me. A couple of months ago, after 4 good years, I realized she was having issues with our marriage, but I was unable to get her to open up about them. She began going out with her new girlfriends all the time and staying out very late and eventually not calling to check in at any time. I confronted her and she said she needed some time and space to figure herself out and to figure us out and she went to stay at a friend's. At this point she almost cut off all communication. I had suspicions and started poking around and discovered she was cheating on me. It appears that had only been going on for a couple of weeks, but could have been longer. I justifiably lost it, screamed at her for an hour on the phone and told her I was filing for divorce. Now that I've cooled off I want to make sure I have no regrets. She has been remourseful but hasn't asked to come back or for my forgiveness. Should I take it slow? What should I do? thanks

thanks for all the answers.
one key thing to keep in mind, is she hasn't asked for another chance. She may in a matter of time, she will come to regret this, but should I even wait? I know she did it because she's an emotional mess, but should it matter to me? She may not ask for another chance. Would there even be any hope to fix things if she did? Would it just happen again? I'm definitely leaning towards filing, but realizing that's the final final, I just want to be sure.

Answer 1

What you need to do is decide if your marriage is worth saving. Do you still love her after all of this? Are you willing to forgive and forget if she wants to work things out? Is she willing to want to repair this relationship?

Your wife could be going through a phase and isnt sure about what is going on with the two of you. She might break up with her lover and come back to you. Along the way though you never know if she will go through this same phase. Its completely natural.

I would take things slow and try to repair the relationship if you really love her. If she refuses to not stop cheating I think it might be best to move on. That is a sign she isnt really committed to your marriage. Or if you two come up with an agreement in between that might be nice.

Just do what you feel is right. No matter what others think of you. Just remember, you are you and its up to you to make yourself happy. God helps those who helps themselves.

Remember though, in the end everything will be ok. Things will always work out for the best and if you two end up divorcing, someone will be along again that will treat you with the respect and devotion you deserve.

Answer 2

Men will never learn to not get married. There is no need to anymore. In fact, it's scary to be with a woman period. My ex cheated, my friends wife did, my other friend's fiancee did.
And also legally, a woman has a right to put your kid up for adoption(if you're not married), even if you want to raise the child yourself. Legal kidnapping.
Also, statistically, 1 out of every 10 children are raised by a man who thought he was the biological father, but actually isn't.
If you have kids, you're going to be extremely financially burdened despite the fact that you didn't put yourself in this situation. In some states, you might even have to pay alimony.
Women cheat more than men now statistically... and get all the money. Just look at porn from now on.

Answer 3

What is the question here? Your wife has left you and is letting some other fuchstick into your most sacred place. This should be enough to firmly decide what needs to be next. Take a look between your legs and see if you have two dangly things there under your pepe. If you do then USE THEM! I can;t believe you guys take this schit! You had four good years? Then you probably wern't looking!

You need a crash course on women. Checkout the following website:
http://www.condomsbrasandstraightjackets.com/

This can answer your questions better than I can. YOu need extra help and this site can give it to you.\\

Answer 4

Heck, she's the one who walked out and cheated, stick to your guns. If you have any money hide it in cash some where.

If you have no kids, tell her you are filing non-contested divorce.
It's the cheepest way to go.

Burn all the photo's you have together, and take all her shoes, purses, extra clothes to Good Will or donate them some where.
Take all her jewlery and melt it down, break a window out and say it was stolen, then tape the window up.
Anything of value that she may want get a storage place and hide it, change all the locks.
Make sure you take possession of all the credit cards and close any joint checking accounts you may have.

Answer 5

Once trust is broken in a relationship it will take alot of work on both people's part to make it work. If you're serious about the divorce I would go ahead with the paperwork. Why would you want to stay with someone who has cheated on you? If they cheat once, they'll cheat again. Realize you deserve better and move on. Good luck

Answer 6

you know what iam gonna tell it like i see it because the same thing happen to me number 1 she doesnt love you like she used and she doesnt respect you because obviously its not her heart that is getting broken so if i was you i would get a divorce she lied to you about needing some space thats an excuse so she can bang other guys f that get a divorce and go out and find someone else this girl is playing games and i can almost guarantee that when she is with someone else that she is talking crap about you the marriage is over buddy get a divorce

Answer 7

No matter what you do....that episode will always be in your mind.......Time is the only way of healing it...if she is emotional now she may never forgive herself and you two will be riding on an emotional roller coaster. That day will alway be in your life.....It will be a struggle. A long term struggle..........

Answer 8

I think that you should call it quits with your wife. She obviously has no respect for you or your feelings. If she wanted to be with you she would have never cheated on you in the first place. I wish you the best of luck in the future. You deserve to be with someone who cares about you and can respect you.

Answer 9

Throw her sh@t out on the curb and tell her take it somewhere and figure it out. Then, quickly, draw all your money out of the bank and turn off your credit cards.

Answer 10

Take it slow, trust your instinct. Is she sorry because she did it, or because she got caught? I believe once a cheater, always a cheater. Good Luck.