How do I deal with letting go of a sibling who is emotionaly crippling?

Question

My sister is 47 and I am 37. I am happily married and a successful teacher. My sister is unmarried and a dishwasher at a restaurant. She is spiteful, controling and mean. Any time she does not like something, she takes the opportunity to bring up things from at least 5 years ago to defend how "she lost me." The event was meeting my husband on the internet. She won't forgive me for meeting someone online. Long story.... but she is poison to me and I know it. I don't want her in my life, yet I keep hoping things will get better knowing it won't. How do I move on. It is so easy to say "forget her" or "she's a jerk." I keep hearing my mom say "sisters forever." Let me tell you this isn't "my side" and her story is against me. I have many stories of proof with witnesses that can't believe her behavior (especially at my wedding). I'm at wits end. I need to move on, but don't know how.

Answer 1

I know of what you speak, I have that type of relationship with my sister(actually all of them really) they all expect me to do what they want me to, ( and all three want and expect different things so no matter what i do not all of them will ever be happy) So I learned to do what I wanted and believed would make me happy. I have had to give up relationships with my sisters to do this, and it does get lonely sometimes when I think of the big family that I have, yet I have no blood family to share my life with. I have adopted a few very close friends, and they are now my "family"
For me it all came down to living a life that was full and happy for me, or trying to be what others wanted me to be and remain unhappy for the rest of my life.

as far as your sister goes, she sounds like, if she isn't happy, then you aren't suppose to be either. That is sad, and unnecessary. Good luck

Answer 2

I know she is your sister, but she does sound a bit controlling. It almost sounds as if she is a bit jealous that you have settled down and are happily married, which could explain why she reacted the way she did at your wedding.
I think you really need to sit down with her and tell her as much as you love her, you cannot handle her controlling behavior or her nastiness anymore. Explain that you would love to have her in your life, but if she wants to be a part of your life, she needs to stop her negativity towards you. I wish you good luck.

Answer 3

i exploit to take revenge, and attempt to emotionally damage him... yet that under no circumstances ended strong and that i consistently ended up extra damage. Now i jus enable it flow, and at last ill be able to enable him flow.