should a couple allow a bi third person into bed with them or have a live in third person for a sexual reasons

Question

sex relationships love date bi threesomes

Answer 1

I've been that third person.

Whilst I would aspire to a loving relationship (involving two or three participants), I fear that we are all too conditioned into pairing off and would find it difficult to maintain serious, intimate relationships with more than one other.

This more standard ménage à trois does not just result in "kinky" sex. It can have all sorts of repercussions, so the existing couple have to be darn sure that they are comfortable with each other and able to cope with a third person in the bedroom. Watch out for:

Jealousy - X pays more attention to Z's needs than mine.
Doubt - I know X is Bi...but I thought I was all (s)he needed
Possessiveness - Only I'm allowed to penetrate X, Z can't.

And that's just the couple!

This third person has not to mind being little more than a living sex toy - a divertissement; their emotional needs not being catered for and conscious of the fact that they are interacting with an established pairing.

If the couple are strong enough and liberal enough, if the third person is emotionally resilient and emotionally self-reliant and if everyone understands that this is just sex, then go for it.

Just be sure that the three of you aren't going to share an equal part in wrecking the existing relationship, by agreeing to something for which you are not ready.

Answer 2

It sounds like you are really missing something in your life and you are substituting sex for it. You talk about this third person like they are simply a toy. How do you think they feel about being there for "sexual reasons". I suspect that a threesome relationship for you will not work, isn't healthy, and will likely ruin your current relationship. A threesome for a night is one thing, but getting three people on the same page for a long term thing is virtually impossible and so it takes so VERY emotionally healthy people to pull it off.

Answer 3

All the points raised are valid and need to be discussed in depth. Communication would have to be the key.
Discussing before hand in an open and honest manner is the key find out how all parties feel about anything that might come up. Also find out any and all expectations you three may have about what will happen, which acts need to be avoided.
A polygamous relationship that is open and honest can survive there are Mormons who do it I am sure.

Answer 4

perhaps before a third person is invited into an intimate situation, the couple should explore if there is a gap in their own intimacy. remember, once the other person is involved, it will change the monogamus relationship permanently. better to seek out a mutually agreed on sex therapist than a mutual bed partner. :)

Answer 5

I had a relationship with an older couple when I was 16. I spent my weekends at their house until I graduated from college. We had "guidelines" that made it a sucess. First, the wife was the "director" and made the rules...he was sub. No anal for her, as that was "his" exclusive area. No romantic kissing unless Frenching to get hot. Never any one on one meetings, no sneaking around! We had a "safe" word if one of us wanted to stop something, painful or unpleasant...and that had to be honored. The only time I was ever with her alone was at his invitation when he went on a business trip and wanted her to be "entertained".....and she snuck her sister in and we never told him. That was my first FFM and the only time we deceived him at the wife's request. The sisters had been doing each other for years and he never knew. WHAT A NIGHT!.

Answer 6

A threesome maybe. But not regualarly. Feelings get involved and someones bound to have a crush on someone that they shouldnt. A outsider has to do with most breakups whether it be straight or gay.

Answer 7

If that is what both parties in the relationship want and they find a willing 3rd party then why not. Personally I couldnt imagine someone else touching my girlfriend.. kissing her.. Nope.. that is for me and me only!

Answer 8

it depends cause if you and the other ppl are ok with it. it might or might not help in the relationship. My boyfriend and are looking for the 3rd person but i really don't know how he is going to react when the time comes.

Answer 9

if the couple are secure with thier own sexuality sure...often than not one usually felt left out in the end and the relationship being dissolve...

Answer 10

NO. Bisexuals are not some sex toy for freaky couples that are bored in their realtionships.