What do i do about my insane mother?

Question

I 38 years old with a new baby and am trying to buy a property with my mother. Only I think senility is creeping in on her. She is the most petty, self absorbed person I have ever met. Weve been here a year now and I dont know what to do. I cant leave her withall the bills and she will lose the property, but I cant live with her petty self anymore, what will I do?

Answer 1

It sounds like you should try to have a talk with your mom.

You are right not to let her stuck with all the bills and all, especially if it was planned for you to help ea. other out.

Parents and kids make bad house mates. Parents have a tendancy to to think they still have control over you. (They didn't really want to let us go as it was).................Truth is you have to options. You can walk out on your mother, or you can talk it out with her and let her know you want the problem resolved or you are going to move out on your own. ..... Then you need to set up some boundries, as far as your personal freedom and hers goes. You need to mark your room and some other space in your home as your space and yours only. She needs to have the same.

You need to set boundries with the baby too. But you don't want to be to stiff and rigid. The child has to learn to live by your rules and your standards.

I had to do this with my mother. she expected that I was to devote my spare time to her and was very upset when I made other plans.
I made the rules for my kids and she wasn't to alter them. I did adjust them so she wasn't over looked.

The livingroom and kitchen was our space to share. ... We had to respect one anothers rights there. I had my bedroom and the den as a special area for the kids and myself, and they had their own bedrooms as well. All rules and decorations were mine. The extra room and her bedroom was her personal space. She could decorate them in anyway she felt. The livingroom and kitchen were decorated by me.

Once you set the boundries what ever they may be you have to stick with them

Answer 2

Try to remind yourself of all the reasons you love her. Remember the good times....and when you start feeling warm towards her again give her a hug and laugh at how she can be. Look at those annoying things from a different perspective. You may find you feel some compassion for her because you might just see that she only behaves that way because she dosent really feel very happy....she dosent sound like a happy person to me. My mother is a tough one to love because she is a little mentally unstable but when i came to see just how fragile she was i decided to love her even more....baby steps....lol...because its very hard in the beginning. :-) Everything will just fall into place over time...I promise....have faith that things will get better and easier.

Answer 3

I'm wondering why you are living with her in the first place....

You need too get out on your own and have a life..depending on how old she is maybe a retirement home might be beneficial?

If not you need too sit down and talk too her about getting maybe a new house, one with two floors that you could both use..like the upstairs is more like it's own apartment type thing..so your in the same house but not actually living together.

Answer 4

you have an unenviable situation, but you knew that or you wouldn't be asking. in some jurisdictions, social services can provide respite care cheap or free. if your mother has lost her basic senses, you may want to get power of attorney so you can keep in touch with finances. good luck babe.

Answer 5

home care nurse thre times a week 3 hours a day to get things ?
not sure

Answer 6

i would talk your problems over. let me tell you my mother passed away two years ago "bless her heart" she had her problems,but who don't. there is nothing worse than loosing your mother.NO, it would be horrible if you left her in financial trouble.please Don't. maby you just need a little time away from one another. good luck, GOD BLESS, you all.