I jut recently broke up with my first girlfriend, and it wasn't smoothly either. She dumped me. I 'm still battling a lot of pain and other emotions. I was really in touch with myself before I entered the relationship and then later I became lost. It was eight months, and was a high school relationship that started in december. Anyways, I just don't know how to pull myself together again and get in touch with myself. That and I'm really wanting to socialize with people but don't know how or where?
I carry much wisdom under my belt, but sometimes even the wisest need help.
I need the help, and openly accept it.
2006-07-03 18:53:30 · 15 answers · asked by Ev 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Wow Ev - you sound as if you are going through the normal process of being sad after separating from someone you cared a lot about. That's OK -- and you should be happy that can love so deeply, some people have a hard time feeling anything at all.
You should keep in mind that as deeply as you are hurting you are also able to love / feel joy that deeply too -- and that is a good thing that you have learned from this.
I think you may want to redefine what you mean by "getting back in touch with yourself" -- maybe you want the old you back, but that guy is gine now. A guy who has grown and sees life differently and is sad for teh time being is there now. Embrace this new person you see inside yourself and be glad that you have gone through the experience
It is a horrible feeling being dumped, but I had this happen in college and it led me to question what life would be like if not only my girl stopped loving me, but what if all my friends stpped liking me, even my family stopped wanting to see me -- what would it be like if I truly was ALL ALONE...
And yo uknow what, I realized that even then I would still be oK because I like who I am and I can appreciate life for what it is, for lal of its beauty and happiness and pain, even if I truly was all alone.
Spend some time alone and try to get to a place where you too would be OK if nobody wanted to be connected to you -- and once you reach that point you will be a strong person that will be OK with whatever else comes your way. Make sure you promise yourself to enjoy anything else that comes your way b/c this is all part of growing and part of LIVING and we are all so lucky just to eb alive so that we may cry these tears and laugh and love again soon.
2006-07-03 19:00:53 · answer #1 · answered by Finnigan 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Know that many people before you have had their heart broken by love.
Know that the pain and grief will not last forever, you will move on.
Get plenty of exersize. Walking or running is always good for the soul.
Start going out with friends and family
Volunteer somewhere where you make a difference
Get your haircut or a manicure
Go to the movies with a friend
Go to the pool or to a beach depends on where you live and get a tan
Start a new hobby.
2006-07-04 02:01:02 · answer #2 · answered by happydawg 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
FIRST OFF, BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY YOU AREN'T THE FIRST PERSON THAT THIS HAS HAPPENED TO-MALE OR FEMALE. LISTEN UP........AND LISTEN GOOD........FIRST,YOU NEED TO DO WHAT YOU'VE ALREADY DONE, AND THAT'S FIND YOURSELF. YOU'VE DONE IT ONCE SO IT SHOULDN'T BE THAT HARD TO DO AGAIN. SECOND,DON'T EVER ALLOW ANYONE TO DETER YOU FROM YOUR GOALS AGAIN. IF THEY CAN'T ROLL WITH YOU, THEN YOU DON'T NEED THEM. NO MATTER HOW GOOD THE SEX OR HOW GOOD THEY LOOK. THIRD,TAKE ONE DAY AT A TIME, IT'LL ALL COME BACK TO YOU AND BEFORE YOU KNOW IT YOU'LL BE BACK IN THE DATING POOL AGAIN. GO OUT WITH FRIENDS AND HAVE SOME FUN. THE MORE YOU SIT AROUND BY YOURSELF THE MORE IT WILL BE ON YOUR MIND. ALSO BE THE BIGGER PERSON ABOUT THE SITUATION, IF YOU HAPPEN TO RUN INTO HER SOMEWHERE DON'T BE AFRAID TO SPEAK.......REMEMBER,FOR WHATEVER REASON YOU TWO DECIDED TO SPLIT AND OBVIOUSLY SHE WAS NOT CON DUSIVE TO THE RELATIONSHIP. REMEMBER THE OLD SAYING.....SOME DON'T MISS THIER WATER UNTIL THIER WELL RUNS DRY.
2006-07-04 02:09:15 · answer #3 · answered by MRLETSB4REAL 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been there and trust me it's not a happy place. I've been with a girl for 4 years and then all of a sudden we're done. There's no cure for what we're feeling. My best advice to you is this. You keep your head held high, feel confident about yourself, and don't forget to cherish the memories you had with her. Slowly but surely you will come out of your shell and you will meet someone who deserves you. You will find yourself again I promise you.
2006-07-04 01:56:35 · answer #4 · answered by deais74 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not unusual for people to get hurt. Almost everyone has had the same, or similar, experience. It helps to know that. Give yourself time to catch your breath. It's alright to grieve, for awhile. Then quit grieving and start doing things with and FOR other people. The pain will go away in time. We all live portions of our lives with pain.
2006-07-04 02:01:21 · answer #5 · answered by Einsteinetta 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel man, it happens to a lot of people. Everyone says it takes time, and it does. Thats all the advise anyone should give you about something like this.
2006-07-04 01:59:48 · answer #6 · answered by smg_135 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know just how you feel because the exact same thing happened to me but the break up was real bad he dumped me and for no reason like 3-5 days later he threatened to kill me for no reason
idk what happened though he was so sweet and so perfect idk why he changed and idk if its this way for you but i keep being told that with time you will get over him yet with each day that passes by i love him more and more
so if you want we can talk about this because i found when i have someone to talk to about it it was a lil easier so i figure since we are going through the same thing we can understand each other better email me at babyangel81490@yahoo.com or babyangel1016@sbcglobal.net if you have AIM IM me at turnerjolene
2006-07-05 11:21:32 · answer #7 · answered by lilmommiNeosha 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By reading you letter, I understood that you are very young yet. I think it was your the first love,and you took it too serious. Believe me all life in front of you, you will meet thousand or even more new and pretty girls,just smile and enjoy you life.
2006-07-04 01:58:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, welcome to reality. I know it hurts. The thing about it is....The more you love, the more it hurts....You can only be hurt by someone you truly love....Use It....Its good to be alive!...Sweet is pleasure after pain. Trust me, this won't be the last....Love like there is no tomorrow. There is someone else out there better for you..Trust me....better is just around the corner. Let go and move on....
2006-07-04 02:01:44 · answer #9 · answered by Bram 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would advise that you find something else to put yourself into. That will make is easier to move away from what is hurting you due to the break up.
2006-07-04 02:00:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋