~*~Getting Help Through This~*~?

Question

Hello =)
Okay..well....im 16 and a lesbian, but i yet to come out to my family. and im just like stuck...i cant move forward or go backwards...and i dont really know what to do, and it doesnt help when i have no one i can trust to talk to...

so i guess im just kinda lookin for advice about what i should do..and where i should go from here...and if there was something similar that any of you went thru also it would help so much!!

Answer 1

Firstly, you need to come out to yourself - It sounds like you may have done this anyway.

Secondly, try getting in contact with a LGBT group where you can meet fellow lesbians. Once you build a network of friends in the LGBT community, you would have come out to more people and will have support. The more people you have on your side, the easier it will be to come out to other people including your family.

Answer 2

You seem to be self aware, so that's working for you. As for advice on coming out? Well, other people here have offered some great advice. Definitely find a local LGBT community program or center and become a member. Build up a circle of friends who are gay/lesbian/bisexual, and you'll see that many of them will actually become your second family. That's a good thing, the best thing about being lesbian/gay: hold on to that!

Also, be patient. There's no telling how straight people are going to react to the news that you're not like them, especially if they're family members. Chances are, they're not paying attention to anything that would kind of inform them that you ARE lesbian, and so when they ultimately find out, it's going to shock them. They're probably also going to think that you "came to the decision" to be lesbian overnight, because of something you saw on MTV.

This is where having a closely knit circle of friends (surrogate family) comes into play. I'd also delay the grand "coming out" until you're 18 or older...at least to the people who could potentially kick you out of the house or force you to leave by simply making you miserable. Of course you can be out to yourself, which is necessary, out to your friends, but save family for last--if ever.

Ultimately though, remember that you're not alone, even though it may feel like it at times, just remember that the girl of your dreams is probably going through the same thing, or went through the same thing slightly before you did. When you two finally meet, you'll be able to compare notes and possibly even have a good laugh over it.

Lastly, don't make mountains out of molehills. You know your family better than we do; you know how they take "schocking" news, and you probably also know which family members you can talk to and which ones you can't...at least not yet. Go with that. Trust your gut and your own awareness of the situtaion. And then just take it one day at a time.

Answer 3

If you feel you must come out to your family, choose the person most likely to accept it and then tell them. Maybe you will feel better after telling one other person, that is if you must come out. But if you don;t think it's necessary to tell anyone and you're not ready then don't. You have years left living with your parents, if it is going to make ur home life difficuly then wait. Work really hard in school and go to a college a bit of a distance away...explore. Do whatever you need to do to be happy and healthy.

Answer 4

Be content with the position you are in. You don't need to come out to your parents right away. I mean I came out when I was 12 and that was not good. Now I rarely get to see my girlfriend. And if I do, I have to lie to get out of the house. There will come a time when you will totally be prepared to tell them. But until then, take things slowly and don't rush anything.

Answer 5

I'd agree with Nemesis, but I would also add that 'coming out' is a difficult thing and does not need to be done in one devastating moment of truth. Rather it can be done as a series of gentler moments. Like your parents meeting a couple of your friends in a relaxed and non confrontational way. Your parents will and probably do understand more than you realise, but let them understand your choices in life without threatening them. Bring things up in a subtle way and they'll respect you more for it.

Answer 6

ok first the finished reason behind an annulment is that it erases the marriage, hence is is going on record that it not in any respect happened. I too were married in a loveless marriage and it would not impact my now boyfriend. i imagine ya'll might want to talk this over and verify out why she became hiding this from you. per chance she became ashamed and did not favor you to imagine undesirable of her. i comprehend I completely remorseful about getting married yet I were given over it and that i instructed each person who it became a mistake and that i did not love him. Please purely talk including her and pre marital counciling is a good theory too.

Answer 7

Try going to a local GLBTQ youth group in your area, there you can talk openly about your feelings to people that have gone though some of their own. I'll link two good sites for help. Stay strong, you are not alone. It will be ok.

About where to find a local GLBTQ youth group:
http://www.youthresource.com/

Link about how to "coming out" to family:
http://www.hrc.org/Content/NavigationMenu/Coming_Out/Get_Informed4/Coming_Out3/Index.htm

Answer 8

wait untill your 18 cause then if there is problems at home you can move out or find a better place to stay then have a family who might want to 'change'' you. also try writing in a journals or chat rooms

Answer 9

Honest to gods don't tell your family. I have been bi since i was about 15 and i never told them. if they knew they would proberably banish me forever. I kept all of my sexual conduct to myself, plainly put its not really their business. its not like you ask your mom and dad if they got their freak on lately...

some things are better not said,
Silence

Answer 10

Take your time once you let that cat out of the bag you can't put it back in.