For most of my life I've had the blessing and privilege of liking and getting along with all my relatives, and thought that this moment would never come. But in the past few years, my cousin has turned into such a degenerate. He disgusts me and I've lost all respect for him. He's promiscuous, he won't keep a steady job, he makes critically terrible life and financial decisions, binge drinks, and he's converted to atheism which may explain a lot, or vice-versa. He won't accept family or professional help, and what's the worst thing of all, he's PROUD of all that. Grow up, you're 25 years old! Given that he's had a stable childhood and upbringing with parents that set great examples (his siblings turned out excellent) and that he's capable of being smart, he has absolutely no excuse and doesn't deserve any sympathy.WHY DOES HE HAVE TO BE MY RELATIVE?I don't feel comfortable standing up to him &upbraiding him in front of my family, but he's been spoken to several times by other relatives.
2006-07-03 18:42:38 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Well of course he's a grown man, that's the most disturbing part! That means that there's a limit on discipline and that he can legally be the biggest jerk possible. But legal and moral don't go hand in hand. And pantera, I 100% agree with you, that's why I think it will only be worse if I talk to him. But I can't avoid him because he always shows up at family get togethers. I wish I could just tell him to stay the as far the hell away from me as possible.
2006-07-03 18:55:30 · update #1
sure it is ok to dislike one of your relatives.
but if you had liked this person in the past and he wasn't like this in the past, then maybe you could really search your inner self as to whether you really feel disgust for him, or you feel sad for him.
if you feel sad for him, then do something for him. stick by him and show him that you really care, try to sniff out exactly what triggered this change in him, then provide him with the love and support that he needs (but probably won't admit to) and slowly he'll start changing. he may not have the faith, but if YOU have the faith, believe that you can make a difference in his life.
2006-07-03 18:58:52 · answer #1 · answered by red_dustee 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're cousin is 25 years old, and likes the choices he is currently making, than I really think you should just lay off. You need to let him go, let him make these mistakes and figure it out for himself. There is nothing wrong with telling him how concerned you are and that you're willing to help, but that's as far as you should go. You can't tell him what to do. He's an adult, and the more you push, the further he'll run from you're help. Leave him be, but have an open mind and heart for when he comes crawling back... he will eventually.
2006-07-04 01:49:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes It's OK to dislike a relatives. I have a few of those myself. At family get togethers just stay as far away from him as you can.
2006-07-04 02:03:40 · answer #3 · answered by lil-bit 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's normal. your not bad at all. your a good person because it worries you a lot. but dont take it seriously, me, i have a very close friend relative, I came to a part that I want to end our friendship because her moods is killing me. I'm not really into hating her, but i just dont want to talk to her, until now for 5 months already we're not talking, but its better this way. I'm worry free and happy for letting her go as a friend. So, don't worry a lot of your cousin, hes sick! you still have many relatives to turn to. so smile, and be happy.
2006-07-04 01:52:24 · answer #4 · answered by shaznay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is alright to dislike anyone, as long as you don't hate them, which I can tell you don't. Have you and your family considered intervention? It does work! Maybe you could talk to some other family members about it? Try it, I mean what could it hurt? Hopefully he will see he has a loving family that's very worried and willing to help, and he will try to straighten up! Good Luck! P. S. I know it hurts to see him like this even though it makes you mad, I went through this with my own son, it rips your heart out! Please try intervention!
2006-07-04 01:55:30 · answer #5 · answered by Princesses Pound Puppy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is ok. I have lost respect for some of my family as well. They like the 5 fingered discount to much and I'm afraid to even have them in my home, go into a store with them, or even hang out with them at family functions.
2006-07-04 01:51:55 · answer #6 · answered by sweetgurl13069 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes it's ok to dislike relatives... and i can relate to your story but just see to it that you would never do anything that could really hurt him... he's still part of your family.. you can do something to make him change his ways, but don't ever put him in a situation that could hurt him physically... emotionally, maybe yes a little bit-coz sometimes that would be good for him-to change his ways. pray for him.. i think that would be the best solution to your problem... :)
2006-07-04 01:53:47 · answer #7 · answered by d&r08 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because somebody is your relative, doesn't make that person a good person. So it's fine not to like everyone in your family.
2006-07-04 01:52:44 · answer #8 · answered by A4Q 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES it is OK. My wife had a falling out last year with her sister. Then her brother called and took her sister's side. Haven't spoken since and don't care.....Anyway, you can pick your friends, but you CAN'T pick your relatives. Good Luck.
2006-07-04 01:46:15 · answer #9 · answered by a1quick57 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's ok to dislike one of your relatives, but I don't see why his beliefs or actions are any of your business. He is a grown man so he is free to do what he wants.
2006-07-04 01:45:58 · answer #10 · answered by Truth Hurts 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋