whats your best joke?

Question

tell me the best joke you know

Answer 1

4 husbands were sitting at the waiting room in a hospital waiting
for
their wives to give birth. Soon, a nurse came out from the
delivery
room and told the first daddy: "Congratulations, you've twins!".
"Oh!..... maybe it's just a coincidence" said the daddy,
"as I'm working at the Petronas Twin Towers".
Then another nurse came out of the room and told the second daddy:
> "Congratulations, you've triplets!"
"Wooow!, this is a coincidence, too" said the second daddy.
"I am working for 3M Corporation".
A while later, another nurse appeared and told the third daddy:
"Congratulations! your wife got quadruplets, Thanks God. Perhaps this
is also a coincidence". "I work at Four Seasons Hotel!"
Meanwhile, the fourth daddy-to-be was becoming very worried.
All the 3 daddies asked him: "Why do you look so worried?" He answered:

"I work at Seven-Eleven!"

Answer 2

Okay, first off, I can tell this joke with no animosity because I am blonde. That being said...

How do you kill a blonde without touching her?

Answer: Place a scratch and sniff sticker on the bottom of the swimpool!

Note to blondes...this only works if the pool has water in it!

Answer 3

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”

The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“

Answer 4

An uneducated guy from a village away from civilization just arrived in a big city. He walked into a bar and amazed to see beautiful women there. He approached one of the women and offered a drink. The woman replied, "Hey, look man. If you are trying to do whatever in your mind, you'd better forget it because I'm a lesbian."
the guy replied, "What is Lesbian?". Feeling upset, the woman replied, "It's a very deadly and dangerous disease." Again, the man asked, "What kind of disease is that?"
Feeling so bothered, the woman replied "Do you see the beautiful woman in the corner? If I see her, I want to approach her, hug and kiss her, and do something romantic to her. You got it?"
Sadly, the man replied, "Oooooh......it means that I'm also a lesbian."

Answer 5

2 mainers r huntin in the woods and sudenly 1 drops to the ground. The other boy panics and calls 911 with cell phone..he says "I think my friend just died!"
the operator replies "first let's make sure he's dead"
boy says "okay"
he puts down the phone and runs to his friend BAM! BAM! The boy runs back to the phone
"okay now what?"

Answer 6

I had this dream last night about mufflers. When I woke up I was exhausted.

Answer 7

So a baby seal walks into a club...

Answer 8

How do you fix a broken tomato?


With tomato paste!