should i be worried?

Question

well in the past i found numbers and messages of different girls on my man's cell phone .and he told me that nothing was going on . but every since then i don't trust him the same .in some of the messages girls would be moaning and some of the messages girls would say u know who this is call me .so i comfronted my husband and he swore nothing was going on . and recently he went to arizona and i accused him of cheating because i feel like he's alwasy doing something wrong .i love my husband alot but he tells me he's a man and that he talks to girls all the time but that i never knew about it .and he says it never goes beyond that point .i told him what do u have to talk about with these other girls and he said don't worry about it .and he told me none of this would have ever started if i wasn't so nosey .he told me he wasn't going to change because he's not doing nothing bad and the next time i accused him of cheating or if i bring up the same conversation that i can pack my bags .

Answer 1

He's playing you for a fool. He's cheating. He knows it and you know it. Get a lawyer and take everything he has. Don't let him threaten you. You can do much better than a rat like him.

Answer 2

you shouldn't worry. You should probably pack your bags. Maybe hire a girlfriend to flirt with him to see how he reacts, then see how much he lies about it too. The lying would bother me more than the cheating. Cuz the lies are there every second of the relationship. They are there every time you try to connect with each other. Maybe a few years of therapy would get at the truth but it would be expensive. Just find someone better. You deserve it I think. I'm 42, if I even felt like cheating I would tell my woman that. I do.

Answer 3

He's cheating. My ex husband did the exact same thing. He would take trips to missouri to see the woman. He even went to spend the night with her on my birthday. I finally got up the nerve to call the woman, and even tracked them down to the hotel they were staying at. He accused me of being untrusting, and when I would bring it up, he would get pissed off and leave. He also used the "if you would snoop in my buisness, this wouldn't have happened" crap. If I were you, I would pack my bags, and let him see what it would be like without you. He wants to have his cake and eat it too. Pig.

Answer 4

You already know the truth, you just want us to say it. He's cheating on you and you should leave. I know because I've done the same thing. Guys don't get girls numbers for nothing and I wouldn't give out my cell number unless there was something in it for me.

Answer 5

First of all when there is smoke there is fire....... Trust your extincts, however from experience - if you accuse and he isn't really doing anything he will start. I know for a fact that men think "If I'm not doing anything wrong, and she is already accusing me and I'm getting in trouble - I might as well do it, if I'm getting blamed for it"

If I were you, I wouldn't say a word to him - but do your own spy work, once you find enough concrete proof, then confront him.

Answer 6

I know how you feel,
my husband gave me some things to be concerned about in our relationship. I think I did provoke some behaviors by my prying...but hey! He's giving you reason to doubt! it's only natural you're concerned and want talk about it. If he is talking to these women in the manner you described I am pretty sure he's doing more than talking with them. There's something in your relationship that is no working...you need to get a counselor and get open with eachother. If the damage isn't too bad and you both want back in to the relationship there's hope...but maybe he's giving you a HUGE HINT...he's not so interested anymore...adn you should cut your losses while you're ahead! You don't need him if he thinks he's doing right...you be in charge and take the reins...if he wants you he'll come crawling back...then it's up to you to take him back! Control honey it's all about control!

GOOD LUCK!

Answer 7

LEAVE HIM!! he is lying to you. he is just pissed that you found out!! he was keeping it from you for a reason. it wasn't innocent or he wouldn't tell you to pack your bags. just because he is a man doesn't mean he has to flirt around with other girls. it might not go any further than talking, but would he want you talking like that to other guys? don't let him do this to you. leave on your own, don't give him the satisfaction of telling you to go.

Answer 8

Push the limit, the guy is being an ***, accuse him again. He's doing it to spite you and regardless if he's cheating or not, he wants you to be insecure and think he ischeating just to see what you are going to do. Bring it up, call it all out and make him make the choice.

Answer 9

I think that if your husband loves you and respects you he will not speak to other women other than relatives and coworkers. Go with your gut feeling and tell him you need to know the honest truth and if he gets pissy with you that to me would admit some sort of guilt. I also live by this quote, "Everything happens for a reason." Good luck!

Answer 10

He sounds pretty useless to me.. sounds like he wants his comfy home life, but wants the icing on the cake too... only you can answer what needs to happen, you have two choices (and i speak from my own experience with a cheating wife) you can either deal with it (which wil ultimately turn you into someone you dont want to be) or file for a divorce and get it over with..

Answer 11

Personally, I think you should be worried. Fidelity doesn't seem to be his strong suit. I may not be the one to ask though, as my now ex wife did the same stuff. It ended up that my five year old son confirmed my fears, because while I was out she had the guy over and my brave little kiddo tattled. You have every right to your suspicions.