I realize i don't have self-confidence, how do i gain it? and i don't mean looks?

Question

My mother told me that i was really confident in myself at 12 while now at 19 i'm really shy, quiet and i'm a Leo is this normal, or am i in a stage right now?

My mother used to tell me that i has always being molested in school, you see i still remember that, because of the gossip that was always untrue. My mother made me feel better by telling me they were jeolous and i now know that having money and living in a poor city, and i remember that sometimes they invented that my father was a drug dealer and that is why we had so much money. I sometimes regret having a good life.

Answer 1

You're posting is kind of confusing, which is an indication that you are most likely confused, which could suggest you might want to talk with your school counselor, or neighborhood clergy.

It's always alright to seek help when going through a crisis. I wouldn't lable your life as a crisis now...but it's apparent that you've experienced some critical encounters in the past.

To gain self confidence you have to gain a hold on the issues that plague your life. Counseling helps to get down to those hidden diatribes that we replay in our minds.

Peace Out.

Answer 2

First of all, being a Leo doesn't have to do with much at the moment.
I say you should smile more, talk more. Be happier right now. if you are always feeling depressed, you would lose self confidence, think everything really sucks and want to end life. If you are happier on the other hand. You know people will smile at you, people will be happy around you. Then you know you are confident and people will admire you. Also... i know you don't mean looks, but sometimes wearing clothes that make you like or looks good on you booasts your self confidence!
Be bolder, take more chances and believe in yourself. Try things you have never tried before and amaze yourself at what you can do, not what people think you are or think you can do!

good luck =)

Answer 3

i don't think that you lost that self confidence at all. Cause if you did, you wouldn't have made this question to be posted out here and for other people to know what your story is. I think you are just confused right now, on the way you're being treated by people. Self confidence cannot be lost once you already have it, and like you said you had when you were 12... you did not loose it, you just don't realize you still have it. And maybe you are not just sure on how to make people see how confident you are about yourself. If you keep on thinking that you don't have confidence anymore, you are actually inviting negative aura to come upon you. try to be more positive in your outlooks, don't mind those gossip-making people, they are just envious of your good fortune. If you know for a fact that none of your parents money came from doing something bad, then you don't have to worry about a thing. Instead use your resources and try to help people, that way you do not only gain more confidence but respect as well.

the best thing to do is always be humble, and don't listen to gossips, be more outgoing, hang out with your friends, try to be more visible to those people who puts you down, this way they'll know that they don'tt affect you and your way of life. And most of all, pray for all those people that do you wrong. You can't change their ways, but somewhere out there is powerful enough to change them... GOD!

Answer 4

so far i have noticed people who go by signs have some kind of problem....you gotta not care what others think....you cant stop everyone from talking....what happened in the past has to be put behind you. you are an adult now...at 12 you are just started out...in school you will break them or get broken...it's a pecking order...everone finds there place....but it is the past.....people that are jealous will spread rumors and gossip...that all they do...we have all been there...it's nothing girl...move on...get dressed pick your head up .stick that chest out and walk like you own the world....you cant go by what some sign says you should...not even when people say you DNA has already made you what you are...that only what you are made of....the most that has done is pick your eye color...it doesn't know if your gonna be thick of thin,,,,thats pretty much up to you....first of all, never make excuses for who you are...saying Dad was a drug dealer kinda takes away the pride he had in providing for his family, plus you wont get too many brownee points in school or anywhere else for that matter....thats a real good way for peeps to start talking....just don't care girl...now you gotta live for you.....

Answer 5

Well now your first problem is feeling down about your life nothing is your fault so never blaim yourself and good advice is if it happend in the past leave it in the past!!You will just sit there playing hte what if and the if only game!!Confidence comes in different ways,Try a different routine,eat something different,go shopping and buy something you usually would never buy(it doesnt have to cost alot either)try hanging around a different crowd of people,do your make-up or hair different,and remember just smile evern if it's the hardest thing to do,once you smile at someone they will smile back it's a small start but at least your trying!!
email me if you need more help cuz I too was very shy and to myself after I had my son I had gained some weight and hated myself cuz of it and it was very hard to leave the house and one day my husband just said I was beautiful and he loved the way I had done my hair and make up so I did it everyday and went for a walk and smiled at everyone since then I'm very confident in myself!!

Answer 6

Want some confidence? Pick out a bag lady or a poorly dressed man who live on the streets, take them to a restraunt and sit and eat a meal with them,ask them about their life, then pay for the meal, and give them enough for another hot meal or two. Not only will you feel a little better, you will make them feel that there are people out there who do give a damn about them, even if it is just for a moment of time. You are NOT saying you are better then them by doing this.

Answer 7

First and foremost you have to STOP saying you do not have self-confidence! (Whenever you catch yourself doing negative self-talk - stop)

Secondly, you have to tell yourself you have more confidence than the next person. (Do this several times a day)

Then you have to pretend you have it and do something that requires self confidence. For example: initiate conversation with a boy you've never spoken to before. Say:
'Hi, how doing today - just wanted to tell you I like your (sneakers, shirt, pants etc)'.

Repeat these three things everyday until you believe it. Then come back here and let us know if it worked.

Remember if you do not believe it, you will always be shy. I was too, but now I'm not.

Answer 8

The best way I can suggest is to read and learn stuff. Get a job and keep it, try to get better at it, go swimming every day, get a routine and stick to it. In the evening settle down in your room and learn how to make a website then read up how to drive traffic to it.
Go to eBay and look for eBooks, then see how lots of people are making money selling them, you can do it too.
You are young and Information is the big thing, learn all about it, there's money to be made and it's just around the corner.

check out the sites below, took me a month! you can too, trust me it's VERY easy and you'll pick it up in no time you sound bright enough, you might be rich in ten years just be consistent and keep at it, that's the main thing:

http://blog.ebookorama.com/
http://finance.ebookorama.com/
http://www.ebookorama.com/
http://credit-cards.ebookorama.com/

good luck

Answer 9

Moshi-moshi.........!
This is the first time i'm chat in here. It was nice to knowing you, maybe we can be a friend.
At first i wanna say to thanks to god of the things that we have now. Actually, i seems like you. I don't have self confidence too. I'm going to 21'st and i'm Leo too.
But i'm always positive thinking by reading a personallity book, i'm trying to talk with a lot of different people. so that can make me feel better.
Don't worried, many people have a problem with self confidence.
Try to open your heart to your friends first. having a talk. Don't be shy.
Just do something that can give you spirit more energic, such as singing, or maybe take exercise, sport, drawing, or what else positive things.
Just try it, I things that can make you better. BUT.. YOU SHOULDN'T DO IT BY YOURSELF. Lets your friends take apart with you. hehe..... Good luck friend. Cheer up.. Just give the sweetest smile of you to the world............. Just enjoy it... see yaaa...

Answer 10

You are going through a stage. The main thing that you need to remember is to never apologize for being you.
You seem to be intelligent and self-aware, and should use this to your advantage. Think about yourself and make a list of your qualities. Make self-affirming statements from that list of qualities .You'll soon realize that you are lucky to be you.
There are always people looking to put others down. Your defense has to be your self-knowledge.... you'll know when you're being attacked out of jealousy, and learn to disregard jealous people.