my wife has kept her money and I am angry with her. Why?

Question

My wife told me a bit after we got married that she has some $ in her mothers account which is hers and she wanted to keep it that way. I was very upset with this because she did not give me a reason why.

The money is not earning any interest as far as I know. I asked her to transfer the money into a joint account or her own account where the money can earn interest. She said she will think about it and didnt want to talk more about the topic.

Several months pass, we are purchasing a new home. I am selling my place and we are using our joint savings for the downpayment. We discussed if she will use that money now towards the downpayment and she agreed, but held off since we had enough money after all as it turned out. Ever since then, I have been asking her to get the money transfered.

Today she finally talked with her mother. So she tells me that her mother is keeping the $ for a rainy day for us and she trusts her with it. I should also trust her. What!? I feel betrayed

I believe that in marriage two people should give 100% be it money, or anything else. I gave her 100% but I feel she is not.

I hate it that she needs a stash. It's like she is not 'all in' - Makes me think twice now about my situation. Should I have a stash? Should I be worried about her our future? It just opened up a whole can of worms! I hate it. Any insight as to how to get over it?

Answer 1

I'm sorry that you are going through such a tough time. If I was in your situation, I would feel betrayed, too. My husband and I combine all of our resources, whether they were made before or after we got married.

Not all women have money stashed.

Marriage is about compromise. I hope you and your wife can sit down rationally and discuss the way you both feel and then find a solution that the 2 of you can feel comfortable with. No one in YAnswers can do that for you. I hope it all works out...hang in there.

Answer 2

you have a nice home and all that, what's the big deal over the money? it's there if there's an emergency or that "rainy day." if it's not in an interest bearing account, that would be a better choice, but still leave that to her at this point. you love her, then trust her...she told you about the money, so she's trusts you too.

it's something that the 2 of you need to work through, it's not up to us here on Y!Answers!!!!

take care!!!!!

Answer 3

Don't you know all women keep a stash. I would leave her alone about it. Betrayed?
Some parts of a person will always be private. So what if she wants a little nest egg. Maybe someday, you will need it for something more important.

Answer 4

i imagine you at the instantaneous are not a lot mad as you're damage. You presented her a chance to percentage an exciting journey with you (the copter vacation) and he or she became it down. what's extra, she did not like your different furnish (the spa in Vegas), both. as a replace, she replaced the plans round on you and instructed you she'd truly organize issues a diverse way. i imagine you spent your time planning a romantic, exciting anniversary vacation and also you experience unappreciated. and that i believe for you, i extremely do. That became extremely sweet of you. yet I also imagine that your spouse did not favor to make you experience unappreciated. i imagine she became likely extremely joyful that you confirmed the initiative in planning this stuff, and became purely consumer-pleasant with you in telling you options she would extremely favor to spend her time. if you're extremely disillusioned, per chance both of you want to discuss the vacation extra and plan the information of it jointly, as a replace of it being something that you intend your self from commence to end. some women may locate that romantic as heck... some would not. i comprehend extra efficient than to allow my personal husband plan a vacation of any type for us on his personal. He focuses on some issues that very much activity him, yet which i do not locate exciting (baseball and surroundings). He dragged me everywhere in the South Island of latest Zealand, searching at mountains. and they were astounding... yet extremely, i'd truly have spent the time in paintings museums. count number your advantages that she's smooth sufficient to be consumer-pleasant with you about how she'd favor to spend the money that belongs to both genuinely one of you. and probably you want to be consumer-pleasant including her that your thoughts were damage, and that you want her to savour your efforts. i imagine you receives that appreciation.

Answer 5

get over it. She's not gonna give it up. You keep it up and she'll be using it for a divorce lawyer. If it make you feel better, open up you own account. There, your even!

Answer 6

I would feel the same way. I think it is very dishonest of your wife to keep the money from you. When you get married you share everything. There is no "yours" and there is no "mine". Only OURS!!

Answer 7

leave it alone, its hers nothing for you to feel betrayed about. your wife probably feels betrayed too because she has made her wishes clear and you won't drop it. it isn't worth the trouble its causing, let it go

Answer 8

exactly all woman keep a stash . i do the same .

Answer 9

She's right...if it was in the account before ya'll met and got married....it's hers.....get over it....

Answer 10

WELL WHEN SHE ASK FOR SOME $$$$$$$$$$$$$$ JUST TELL HER YOUR $ IS YOURS SHE KEPT HERS KEEP YOURS .....aSK HER WHO PAYS THE BILLS AND HER CAR PAYMENT AND HER JEWLERY THEN JUST TELL HER TO PAY HER OWN BILLS GOOD LUCK